Clarity in Konoha
by Mistlan
Summary: When Tsunade hires disgruntled artist Clarity Cratchet to help repair a painting that's spread out among the five great Shinobi Nations. It's up to Team Kakashi to make sure this spitball stays in one piece. Read, Enjoy, and watch the sparks fly.
1. Prologue: The Painting of Doom

Summary: When Tsunade hires disgruntled artist Clarity Cratchet to help repair a painting that's spread out among the five great Shinobi Nations. It's up to Team Kakashi to make sure this spitball stays in one piece. Read, Enjoy, and watch the sparks fly.

**Clarity in Konoha**

**Prologue: The Painting of Doom**

Tsunade rubbed her temples, looked over the mountains of paperwork Shizune kept hounding her to do and then just rubbed the temples of her head some more. The only thing on her mind was someone to bring her some sake and fast. She was going to slip a sip from the bottle she kept hidden in her secret pop out desk drawer but Shizune was in the hall. Her pet pig TonTon would have sniffed it out and told on her faster than you could say "Konohagakure" with your nose squeezed shut. She was just about to reach out and tap her secret drawer open when Shizune burst into the room! Frantically, as if to hide something Tsunade grabbed a book off the shelf and put her nose in it. Too bad it was her favorite travel guide of casinos and beer joints from around the world.

Shizune snatched that book out of her hand yelling, "Lady Tsunade this is no time to be messing around we have a situation to deal with."

Tsunade leaned in front of the expansive imposing desk, chin on resting in her hands just so she could pretend she's interested. Sadly Shizune did so much nagging on her the week before, Tsunade's patience was now wearing thin.

"What is the situation now?" Tsunade drawled, her honey eyes sparkling in anticipation, "Is it interesting?"

"No it's not 'interesting'!" Shizune snapped, "We had another painter die already and this time the poor fellow's been smeared all over the walls too."

"WHAT?!" Tsunade gasped in horror, "but that was the twenty fifth guy this week!"

_Indeed it was true, _Tsunade thought as she let her mind wander during Shizune's rant, _at least twenty five professional painters went and gave their unwitting lives to restore just an ancient painting that had something to do with the now defected Uchiha clan and the five great Shinobi Nations. The Land of Earth in the Northwest with its desolate rocky mountain ranges. As if they need a rock garden, they live in one. The Land of Lightning with its big thunderhead clouds over vast mountain ranges. Beware of Lightning, Weatherman can say the same thing everyday and be home in time for dinner. The Land of Water towards the east is a multi island hot spot of mists, lakes and anything having to do with the element of water. I wouldn't want to offend everyone there, each island has different traditions and so many etiquette rules that it ought to drive any slob nuts. The Land of Wind is a vast desert that's bordered by the Land of Rivers and the Land of Rain. Which reminds me does anyone have a Sand Dumpling? I'm hungry. Anyway the last one and the center powerhouse is the Land of Fire with it's bright sunny weather and many forests it looks like a forest fire just waiting to happen._

"So you're saying," Tsunade reiterated, "That every painter we hired ended up suffering gruesome ugly deaths though no one knows how or why except the fact they knew _too_ much and the ninjas hired to protect them just got caught in the crossfire because of one stupid painting?"

"But Lady Tsunade," Shizune almost whined, "All the ninja nations have been losing their troops thanks to five pieces of an irreplaceable treasure which has the power to change the world as we know it."

Tsunade just barked up laughing, "How can a stupid painting change the world?"

Shizune, blushing mad by now, stomped and growled, "Lady Tsunade; How are we going to protect this treasure when every painter and ninja that gets sent after it gets killed!?"

"That's easy," Tsunade scoffed as if it were the simplest thing in the world, "We hire a new painter except we hire a spitball with a talent for self preservation and enough dumb luck to be alive which I just so happened to find in the yellow pages."

"You're hiring a civilian for a ninja mission?" Shizune gasped, "Isn't that going to be even more dangerous?"

"I'll have Naruto protect her." Tsunade answered causing her assistant to face vault. Apparently having Naruto guard a spitball is like having the fox guarding the stinky cheese man.

"Won't they kill each other?" Shizune asked.

"No," Tsunade pondered this before speaking, "I don't think they'll get each other killed but from what I've heard about this woman she's enough of a knucklehead that she often piles the odds against herself rather than for herself. She's butted heads with the board of education, the U.S. government I think, and even the police when they found out she painted rubber duckies on their cars. She was still able to talk her way out of having a permanent criminal record and I know she'll be able to talk Naruto down without having to access the Demon Fox's chakra since her talent for self preservation is actually a reflexive instinct when dealing with places and people. I'm sure she'll be the perfect candidate for this mission."

Shizune cringed, this did not sound like a hopeful mission. Since it seemed the painter would be more like a danger than an asset of course. I mean, c'mon how many people would be crazy enough to hire a head butting disgruntled civilian artist on a mission to retrieve a Painting of Doom. The more people knew about it the higher a chance someone was going to die and the first to die would obviously be the one who had no combat experience whatsoever. TonTon gave a worried oink as she ran her head under Tsunade's hand. Tsunade scooped up the little pig and gently rubbed TonTon between her ears. This sounded bad and everyone within hearing range knew it.

"That's why we'll keep this spitball artist in the dark." Tsunade finally decided, "The less that she knows about this mission, the better."

* * *

Author's Note: I would love to hear your feedback because this thing is on a roll and I want to try and stay true to the Naruto series though there will be a few parts that will be awkward  
because my two characters Clairity and Murray can be total dorks but in a good way at least.


	2. Chapter 1: The Ninja Customer

Author's note: I don't own Naruto. I just write this for fun. Now on with the show.

* * *

**Clarity in Konoha**

**Chapter 1: The Ninja Customer**

It wasn't even three weeks before I opened my quaint little art shop that I got a call from a place that was on some continent I never even heard of. In fact it wasn't so much as a call as it was this weird dog that kept hanging around my door at some ungainly hour in the morning! My business partner, Murray, was sneaking this guy pepperoni and bread sticks in the middle of the night. I got up, rolled around for my bath robe, and almost tripped on the guy on the way to the door.

"Have you been staying up late again?!" I quipped though it sounded more like a wail, "You know I don't open the doors of the shop till six and . . ."

PLINK PLINK PLINK

Okay, what was that noise? Oh well, I was too busy giving Murray a piece of my mind. I mean sure I didn't give Murray enough time to get that bed head out of his wind combed amber hair but he should know better. The guy's been with me a little while and long enough for me to know a blank stare when I see one. Unfortunately, those expressive teal eyes of his were hooked on the window.

PLINK PLINK PLINK

"Pakkun's here!" Murray squealed with childlike joy. He rushed to the door to let in some pug with cape and a forehead protector tied around his face. Pakkun didn't look like some happy dog. He looked more like Murray's ex-wife when she lost a poker game and the deed to the shop to some ex-hobo a.k.a. my business partner, Murray, last Christmas. Well what Pakkun said proved otherwise.

"It's great to be here and thanks for the food," Pakkun replied with a silent burp.

"This is what you stayed up late for?" I asked Murray, unable to contain my confusion, "a talking dog?"

"Nuh-uh!" spoke Murray, "I stayed up late for a talking ninja dog! Pakkun here, was just about to ask you to help with his ninja mission, right Pakkun?"

"Right Murray but it's not my mission," Pakkun barked in a deep gravelly manner, "I was summoned here by someone else."

"Okay," I said bending down to scratch Pakkun's ear since I didn't know who in their right mind would ask a talking ninja pug to ask me about a mission, "Is your 'summoner' dude going to be here any moment now?"

Pakkun looked at me like I'm nuts before laughing, "I brought him here! His team's waiting outside, oh and pleased to meet you Clairity."

Pakkun vanished in a white puff of smoke. Weird Dog what'd he mean by brought him here? I'm sorry but if I don't get at least a half a pot of caffeine in my system I end up as lost as that one bimbo off a soap opera. I left Murray to handle the pack of teens waiting outside while I went to go shower. At least he slept in his Mickey Mouse T-shirt and jeans. It took me fifteen minutes to find a cotton kimono top, some camouflage cargo pants, and pull my waist length black hair into a decent French braid. I was just about to rub the sleep from my raw sienna eyes when I got assailed by a loud high pitched voice in the foreground.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS THE ONLY OPTION WE GOT! WHAT ABOUT YAKUMO OR SAI? MAN THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST BORING MISSION EVER!" yelled some spikey haired blond in a bright orange outfit.

WA-BAM

I didn't have my coffee yet and threw my cup at the guy. Screams from the hot liquid trailing down his head was a bull's-eye. I know I shouldn't have given the kid a goose egg but I didn't have my coffee. When my coffee levels are low I'm mean.

"Hey kid this is my shop not a shout fest so show some manners," I grumbled as I poured myself another heavy mug of steamy goodness. A few sips later and I was ready business by stating, "Okay, welcome to the Art Gift, I'm Clairity Cratchet, I guess you met Murray Monody. I need names, contact info and for you to tell me whatever you need my help with today."

The stares I'd gotten from three teens and some guy with his nose in a book sent me the shivers. Something tells me we never met before. They all sported the same forehead protectors except the blond had his on a trailing black band where he rubbed the back of his head with a squinty eyed look. The book reader snapped his book shut before slipping it into some kunai pouch strapped at his hip. The other two, one who looked like some pallid kid in a black midriff with charcoal hair was eyeing the art supplies on display while the girl pink hair, red shirt, green eyes, eyed my paintings with that look of wonder that only someone whose never painted a day in her life can do. The book reader made his way to the front counter.

"The name's Kakashi Hatake," spoke the book reader in a lazy manner what with the way he laid his hands on the counter, gravity defying gray hair, one eye hidden behind the headgear, a mask covered three quarters of his face and the way that eye crinkled I could tell he was smiling. Accent sounded Japanese somewhat so I put down Kakashi's name the best I could manage.

Blondie however yelled again wracking my nerves, "I'M NARUTO UZUMAKI, BELIEVE IT!"

I flung my cup, the girl caught it but not before slapping his face hard enough to launch his head into the ceiling! I got to admit, poor dude's body looked like a bright orange hood ornament in the center of that crater. I made a mental note not to get on pinky's bad side. Crimony that girl had a temper and a half to match that right hook. Kakashi and the other kid paid no heed so I guess the routine's normal anyway.

"Naruto," she quipped, "Don't be rude." She handed me my ceramic mug with the slightest of ease though the way that cup cracked under her strength told me she didn't like the way my attitude was either.

"Sorry about my friend," The girl laughed nervously, "I'm Sakura Haruno and . . ."

The pallid kid just suddenly plopped down a bonanza of art stuff, India inks, oil paints, acrylics, colored pencils, paper, canvases, and a couple hundred crayons to boot. I was really starting to like this kid. He gave me a fake little smile. His charcoal eyes bore into mine as his smile spread into an honest to goodness grin.

"Hello you Harpy, please call me Sai," the pallid kid announced, "Please put all this on Tsunade-sama's tab since she said she'll cover all expenses on this mission." Some part of me suddenly didn't know whether I should kiss the kid or kill him. Sure, Sai seemed to be pretty good on mission statements. Problem is he sounded like a bad example from a communication textbook, sheesh.

"Well I hope your lady Tsunade can cover your bill because you guys just bought enough stuff to fund an art class."

* * *

Next up is Chapter 2: Audio Books, Cracked Nuts, and Anger Management.

When Clarity is kept in the dark, she purposely starts to push everyone's buttons just to get some answers and almost gets killed for it. Sai ends up inciting a civilian's wrath whilst Kakashi and Naruto have some unexpected fun at Clarity's expense. Murray is just his simple self.


	3. Chapter 2: Audio Books, Cracked Nuts, an

**Author's Note: **I don't own Naruto. I'm just writing this story just for fun. Though I almost but not quite feel for Clarity. It's barely Chapter 2 already and Clarity gets her behind kick. It's all her fault. Read on to find out.

* * *

**Clarity in Konoha**

**Chapter 2: Audio Books, Cracked Nuts, and Angry Management**

Well we had to find some way to get Naruto's head unstuck and since Sakura was the one who just launched a crater into my ceiling. I decided she could have the opportunity to pull him out. Sai looked as happy as a kid in a candy store as he did this neat trick of having all that stuff he purchased disappear into a summoning scroll. Seriously, I thought that was pretty cool, but I was too busy finding Naruto some aspirin or something. Murray, however, applauded with wide eyed wonder. His eyes sparkled with glee. Sure it doesn't take much to impress him but sometimes the simpleton support is a wonder in itself. Meanwhile afterwards, I grabbed my to-go case, my art kit, Murray's bag and we were on our way to a continent that I never even heard of.

"Oh wow this is too cool!" Murray beamed as he leaned into the spray of the water's edge. We took a good long journey to the Land of Waves and was just crossing over the 'Naruto Bridge.' The sun had nestled just right on the water's edge for the evening. The mist from the slight rain glittered in the air giving all the boats that were rocking with the waves a kind of ghostly ethereal appearance. So far this place has been an Artistic paradise! No two days were ever the same and each time I went out there with my camera or my sketch pad I'd always find something new that I didn't find yesterday. I even found a neat little audio book to blare out on my I-pod. I know it's not what I usually listen to when I'm out there snapping pictures with my DSLR camera but here I was in the middle of some bridge trying not to let my giggles get the best of me.

"C'mon Kakashi," I giggled, "I know we're halfway there and you've been adamant about this whole "Top Secret" shtick but c'mon, what's this mission everyone's been so excited about?"

Kakashi just kept his nose in a book, his lone eye never wandering. Naruto, peeved about something, hurried up his pace to catch up with Sakura and suddenly start talking about whatever noodles were on some Ichiraku menu. The only thing left was Sai. Hey sometimes the best nut is a hard to crack nut and seeing that Sai was the only dude to lag behind. I decided to take a good crack at cracking him.

"So . . . Eh . . . Sai," I asked while taking one of the ear phones out of my ears and allowing it to dangle, "You're the artist in the group?"

". . . mmhmm . . ."

Still nothing, but I remembered the gleam in his eye when he bought all that art stuff and I was guessing Naruto was also yelling something about artists in the shop. So if a _real _smile meant he was extra happy. Then I wonder what other expression I could get out of him?

"You know every time you put on that blank slate of a mask you're wearing," I pondered as I noted a slight crawl in his otherwise professional step, "I can tell you're hiding something."

All four ninja stopped right there dead in their tracks. Yes I can't beat around the bush as much as Murray can but observing things is what an artist does anyway. Sai in particular showed no emotion whatsoever. Like I said, blank slates can really tell you when you're lying about something and Sai was probably drilled to hide his feelings. I guess trying to express them, at least for him anyways, must've always been a problem.

Sai decided to carefully counter this by saying, "You were hired to paint not poke your nose where it doesn't belong."

"Yeah c'mon Claire," Murray begged as he tugged on my sleeve, "It's ninja stuff all right so don't worry about it."

"My nose isn't poking," I stammered, "Good grief it's pecking at a brick wall."

It's true, I hate being kept in the dark and it drives me wild, not to mention makes me hard to handle when no one knows me well enough or knows me well enough to be frightened anyway.

"A wall?" Naruto asked as if I'd actually bash a real wall with my nose.

Okay now we were getting somewhere, my first nut clammed up and my second nut just cracked. Albeit Naruto's cracking was more like the Grand Canyon breaking wind but the only thing I wanted to get was a rise out of anyone next to me. So I decided to make Naruto my next target since quick tempers come in spades.

"Oh really and does that mean you always go back on your word?" I asked, praying not to be killed, "As a demon, a monster, or would that be a dead last promise breaker-"

Naruto lunged and threw me like a rag. He did not let go. I slammed into some siding. Felt my head bleed. Naruto's cerulean eyes flashed Cadmium red as those whisker marks deepened and a couple fangs framed his horrid snarl. Kakashi had his arms pinned around Naruto, praying he wouldn't kill me! Sakura looked flabbergasted and as for Sai, that was the first time I ever saw his jaw drop in my life. Murray looked nervous as he gingerly tried to squeeze between Naruto and myself.

I, being the hee-haw, raised my hand to stop him by saying, "Hold on, Murray I want to hear what this kid _calmly _has to say."

Naruto puffed and breathed with every ounce of self control in his being. Kind of like if the incredible hulk downed slim fast only not so green around the gills.

"You can slam me down all you want but I always keep my word, I never give up," Naruto seethed, "because that is my nindo, my ninja way."

Note to self: I didn't know Ninjas even _had _a code of honor.

Still that whole outburst suddenly made me feel guilty. Yeah I know I'm no heroine but besides almost getting a death blow to the face by a sixteen year old demon container. I finally realized where Sai kept calling me "You Harpy," since I met these Ninjas. Jeez I even feel like such a . . . harpy.

"Okay, okay Naruto," I apologized in the soothing voice I used for only my most dangerous customers y'know whiny kids and their angry moms. I decided to use this to save my toucas for once. "I'm sorry Naruto I really am."

I kind of kept the part of pushing everyone's buttons on purpose to myself.

"C'mon Naruto look at me," I said as his eyes darted ready to explode, "_Look _at me."

I had his attention which was a good sign right?

"I'm sorry for poking my nose where it doesn't belong." I crooned and in a slow flutter of a few eye blinks Naruto suddenly wobbled off balance and from the way he went grinning from ear to ear meant he was back to normal. I wasn't dead either. Hooray for me- I mean us!

Sakura slammed her fist into my noggin hard enough for me to hit the dirt before yelling, "YOU IDIOT! Can't you think before you act?"

"I did," I admitted as I got off the floor, "Because you guys _still_ won't tell me anything!"

"So?" Naruto sneered, still ticked off, "Is making anyone mad going to get you any information at all?"

Naruto had a point; this whole crack-a-nut plan was going nowhere fast. I still had to pump these guys for information. Couldn't there have been something easy to exploit? Naruto's temper was a bad idea, Sai would just clam up, and Sakura already about put a hole through my face. I still couldn't figure out what to do when Murray had been trying to get my attention for the past five minutes when we came off the bridge.

"Oi Clairityyyyy," Murray cooed as he poked at my sore noggin, "Oh Claire . . . H-hey Claire!"

"Hm . . . What?" I asked as I eventually got woken from my musings by someone tugging at my ear phones. Apparently Naruto's never seen me in thinker-mode or he wouldn't have my headphones dangling between his fingertips.

Yet the next most embarrassing line to come out of my I-pod was . . .

_"Do you love me?"_

Awkward silence filled the air as crickets chirped in for comical effect. The whole group stopped once again. I couldn't see Kakashi's lazy eye widen in recognition but I could see his shoulders hunched over as he flipped through pages. He turned toward me, my face went beet red. He flipped through the book again, snapped it shut, and looked at me with the most evil eyed lazy grin beneath the mask on his face.

"You've been reading Make Out Tactics haven't you?" Kakashi beamed.

Shock sat on Naruto's and Sakura's faces. Sai had a carefully blank one to mask his mirth. Murray's eyes registered with a dumb gaze between Kakashi and myself. Sure I was a little embarrassed but the joke was no big deal. In fact, I already knew about it being an adult erotica novel wrote by some dude named Jiraiya.

"eh-heh, well," I nervously laughed as I raised my arms above my head, "It just so happens to be a little research into some of this continent's pop culture. I mean the Come Come Paradise series seems to be popular here so I'm kind of a newbie to the series?"

"Dude that's just wrong," Naruto grimaced, "Ow!" It was my turn to give him a sharp tap on his noggin.

"Au contraire," I remarked, "You don't always have to be a pervert to enjoy steamy literature."

"Well the guy who wrote it was a pervert," Naruto remarked as if he knew the author well, "He was a big one."

"But how do pervy books relate to the Ninja Mission?" Murray stupidly asked; he did not quite catch on to the conversation.

Which Naruto stupidly replied, "Nah it's not related, we need to repair some weird painting having to do with the Uchiha and the five great Shinobi Nations but it's scattered throughout the earth and we need an artist's help to track it down."

Again everyone stopped with shock but this time it was Naruto that Sakura mercilessly wailed upon. Sai gave a fake cheery grin and Kakashi gave an exhausted sigh. I would've laughed myself silly if not for my surprise about Murray. How did he crack that nut?

"You know Naruto we were supposed to keep Harpy Lady in the dark about this." Sai hissed as he mentioned me which left me another problem to ruffle my feathers.

"Okay before this story gets any more interesting I want to let you know that I'm not a harpy lady alright? If you're going to call me any nicknames than call me Claire because I don't appreciate name calling." I huffed.

"Um . . . Well . . . I . . ." Sai stuttered. Of course I should've noted that Sai never reads social situations well. I mean he must've been one of those guys that trained just to be a ninja and _nothing else _which meant no social skills, little to any everyday commonsense, and that kind of aura about him that made you wonder whether you wanted to hug him or kill him.

My burning glare must've pulled something behind those ink blank pupils because Sai ended up giving me this piteous look. He turned his onyx orbs away; his hand resting on the ninja scroll like it was some sort of gun before I grabbed his wrist and firmly squeezed it.

"Look I know I'm not a ninja and I know you want to keep me in the dark for my safety but do you really think attacking a civilian like myself is a good idea?" I fumed, yeah that was me going up against a professional artsy warrior, crazy no? "I don't know any jutsu and the only knowledge I have is a bunch of history and architecture. You sure you want to go against me because if you kill me you'll fail this mission. Now look me in the eyes and promise you won't kill me!"

Sai looked at Sakura and Naruto for a plea of help. Kakashi had his face in his hands. Since he saw that the protectee was still pushing all sorts of buttons with her protectors. Sakura looked shock, Naruto looked mad, and just before Naruto could grab me Sai squeaked.

"I SAID LOOK AT ME!" I roared.

Sai was putty in my hands as he squeaked, "I promise not to kill you."

I went from mad one moment to glad the next when Sai finally looked at me face to face.

"See," I chided as I just tried my best to put my arms around all four of my new Ninja pals who still didn't get over the shock of my outrage, "Things are a lot easier when you don't keep scary secrets from friends."

"Oh yeah and speaking of secrets," Murray happily enthralled, "Kakashi just took your I-pod, Clarity, hope you don't need it for a while."

* * *

Next up is Chapter 3: Clarity Meets the Ninja Nine

Clarity has arrived into Konoha along with Naruto, Sakura, Sai, Kakashi and Murray. Of course we all remember the rookie nine and Hokage #5 right? What will Clarity's first impression of meeting the Gondaime Hokage herself? What will Murray's impression be on the rookie nine when they burst into the room? Clarity accidentally makes a ding-a-ling move that she later panics over after she realizes what she's done.


	4. Chapter 3: Clarity Meets the Ninja Nine

**Author's Note: **I don't own the Naruto series. I just write this just for fun. Now on with the show.

* * *

**Clarity in Konoha**

**Chapter 3 : Clarity Meets the Ninja Nine**

I was pretty glad Sai promised he wouldn't kill me. It didn't stop Naruto from having his payback for what happened at the bridge till the morning we arrived at Konoha. The guy probably ate as many calories as he burned in one sitting! I mean the dine-and-dash leaving me to pay the bill at every restaurant along the way was one thing. The piggy back ride of doom was another!

Naruto zipped through the trees as a bright orange blur. I was barely hanging on for dear life. The sound of his heart beat a thousand miles an hour. The feel of constantly falling scared me to death. I squeezed my eyes shut from terror as Naruto's diaphragm jiggled from his own constant chuckling.

"Not so conniving now are you?" Naruto chuckled.

"Conniving my foot," I yelled, "I feel like I'm holding onto an eel."

"Eel?!" Naruto screamed as he zoomed straight to Konoha, leaving a gigantic dirt cloud in his wake.

ZOOM

BAM

In fact Naruto ran so fast he crashed into a wall. Kakashi sighed as he and I (being absolutely dizzy) helped the energetic Knucklehead to his feet. Sakura came in second with a happily goofy grinning Murray. Sai came third, who, judging by the grin on his face, enjoyed the whole show.

"Wheee! That was fun." Murray sang as he jumped off Sakura's back and danced with joy, "Let's do that again!"

"Oh yes," agreed Sai, "Let's watch Naruto hit the floor again."

"Heck no!" Naruto and I both quipped, still groggy from the whole zooming thing. Well we could finally agree on something. . . I think.

"So, this is the new artist the Hokage hired?" spoke a voice at the village gates, "She's kind of small isn't she?"

"Oh hey Izumo, Kotetsu," Naruto beamed, my that guy was friendly with everyone, "I see you met the harpy. Ow!"

I jammed a fist up Naruto's ribs before turning to the village gatekeepers whom were, low and behold, Ninja. The one asking the question was some guy called Izumo. He had his ninja headband wrapped over his head like a bandanna while it flattened his neck length black hair over one eye. He seemed to act as one of the more responsible of the two gatekeepers while Kotetsu was this wild haired guy with a bandage across his face over the bridge of his nose. Why he had it I don't know why but it wasn't like he'd be irresponsible enough to down a jar of syrup himself right?

Kotetsu yawned, "So another bit of gopher duty again? I hope I don't have to give this pipsqueak the grand tour." He jammed a thumb in my direction. Yeah he would be the irresponsible kind of guy.

Izumo playfully punched him replying, "You know it's a grand honor to protect the village and we don't let outsiders in here often."

"Thanks for making people feel so honored," I replied with a respectful bow, "but, from what I heard Team Kakashi has to make a report anyway at the . . . Hokage tower and I'll just follow them. I have to meet my clients personally any who."

"Sounds like a plan," Kotetsu agreed. Izumo just waved his good byes and we were off to see this Gondaime or Fifth Hokage.

Tsunade almost burst through the door in all her bodacious blonde glory! I mean what was this lady's real age, fifty?! She looked to be my age or 20 something at least! Her honey sickle eyes looked down upon me with the scrutiny a doctor gives a patient. We ended up circling around each other for a small while. She's a head taller than I am and at least an EE cup at the bosom. That buxom blonde sported high heeled sandals, nail polish matching her navy blue trousers, white kimono top, and a moss green coat with the word "gamble" on it in Kanji. Her thick sand blonde hair lay in two low pony tails. I remembered Naruto's favorite nickname for her was grandma since rumor has it she's fifty something but . . . _dude_. For someone that old she looks young for her age.

"Let me guess," Tsunade pondered as she went back to her desk, "You're the new girl?"

"Certainly," I replied before asking, "How many predecessor painters were on this mission?"

"Oh just 25," She answered, "They knew too much and someone silenced them all."

GULP

Twenty five people dead, that's reassuring. I guessed that was why Team Kakashi was so adamant to keep quiet on the bridge. Especially Sai, now that I thought about it. So, twenty five people were killed for knowing too much. Sai's word's echoed in my head.

_"You were hired to paint not poke your nose where it doesn't belong."_

That still doesn't stop me though. I stood my ground and looked Tsunade straight in the eye answering, "I may not be 25 naturally talented artisans but I'm strong enough to make up for the survival of an entire army and still make enough money to feed myself."

This is the truth; I've always had a talent for self preservation, even if it's been earned from years of customers calling me a bilking cheater. I've done honest work.

"Great," Tsunade beamed with a clap of her hands, "You'll be starting tonight!"

"Tonight?" I asked, unbelievably. Why did she say tonight?

"We need an artist like you who's able to survive against the odds." Tsunade countered in the same tone I used to butter those gatekeepers up, "I'm amazed you were actually able to talk Naruto down when he tapped into the Kyuubi's chakra and even more amazingly stood your ground against an armed Konoha ninja."

"Eh-heh," I rebutted, "but that wasn't my common sense talking, that was me being stupid. Ask Sakura, she already wailed on me for pushing everybody's buttons and I have the bruises to prove it."

"Still," Tsunade pointed out, "The last artisan we hired didn't have enough self preservation to handle the mission and got killed by an unknown group of ninja. You already have that ability to cope with others which is the only reason why I hired you."

"Yay!" shouted Murray as he burst into the room, eyes sparkling, he took a look at Tsunade, "Gee, you're so cute! Are you Naruto's mom?"

WA-BAM

Tsunade flicked her sake glass into Murray's forehead making him reel and caught the thing before it broke. Naruto cringed as a slight blush flushed his face. Sai put on his "Mirth Mask" as Kakashi righted Murray upright by the seat of his jeans. At least six other people, including a pony sized dog, went running into the room out of breath. I couldn't help but smile, adventures like this turn out to be Murray's sugar high and since the place had a bunch of ninjas. Konoha just met my favorite hyperactive simpleton.

"Were really sorry Tsunade-shisui," Sakura panted, "but our pal Murray here just ran wild all over konoha."

"Yeah," another team fumed, this consisting of one guy with red streaks on his cheeks and a big tired dog so I was guessing that was Kiba Inuzuka and his pooch Akamaru, "He kept jumping into all sorts of trouble." The other guy with the sunglasses and some kind of oversized hoodie must've been the bug boy Shino Aburame who only nodded in agreement. The ninjas who brought me here did fill me in on who was who at least. The third one, Hinata Hyuuga I think, had long royal blue hair, pearly lavender eyes and a slightly thick jacket that did not hide her womanly figure. She was so coy around Naruto and positively blushing. Was she and Naruto a couple?

"Oh hey Hinata!" Naruto beamed, "You want something?"

Hinata's cheeks flushed beet red before she hit the floor with a thud! Naruto, looked over her with curious naïveté. Nope they definitely weren't a couple. Naruto was just too stupid to see a lady was in love with him.

"He may not be a ninja BUT HIS POWER OF YOUTH IS BRIGHT!" yelled another guy in a green jumpsuit, flack jacket, and orange legwarmers, "I am the beautiful green beast of Konoha, ROCK LEE!" The weirdo struck a nice guy pose with his sparkling grin. I don't know what's so beautiful about a bushy browed dude in green spandex with a black bowl cut but he looked weird to me. The guy huffing and puffing to his left wore white and navy blue robes and had the same pearly eyes as Hinata. Not to mention the longest brown head of hair I've ever seen on a guy. The girl to Lee's right was had on twin bun hairstyle with a Chinese style shirt and a big scroll on her back.

"These are my youthful teammates Neji Hyuuga and TenTen." Lee interjected. Neji almost gave Lee a wilting look which kind of made me laugh. He sure doesn't seem like the guy to voice enthusiasm huh?

I shook their hands as TenTen gulp in a bunch of air before saying, "I'm sorry but Lee's always like this."

"Yeah?" I replied before pointing to Murray, "Don't worry so is he?"

"YOOOOUTH!" Murray roared as he got into some wrestling stance, eyes burning bright, pillar of fire in the background, as he did his best Lee impersonation.

"THE POWER BURNS BRIIIIIIIGHT!" Lee roared in unison taking on the same dramatic effect pose. Crickets chimed in for comical effect as everyone else earned a big sweat drop.

"So," I clapped my hands before turning to the last trio, A bossy blonde with one set of bangs over her face with a ponytail, a big guy eating potato chips wearing some streamlined version of samurai armor on his heavy weight frame, and a dude who just went to look at clouds, "You guys are . . . "

The bossy blonde just took the stage by saying "I'm Ino Yamanaka, This is Chouji Akimichi . . . "

"Hey," greeted Chouji, around a mouthful of food.

" . . . The lazybones over there is Shikamaru Naru."

My inner voice started to sing, _Who lives in a pineapple under the leaf, Shikamaru Smarty Pants! _I mean really with that ponytail on his head, I'm surprised no one's called him Pinapple Head but hey, I'm kind of new around Konoha, so I plodded over to the window and plopped down beside him.

"How's the clouds?" I asked

"What do you think?" he stated.

Sensing the guy was being too lazy to tell me anything about his own self. I decided to do my own version of cloud watching by looking at the shadows and highlights between the skies.

"Well," I pondered, "I see the Mona Lisa eating a . . . chili cheese dog surrounded with Ramen noodles and fries."

"Wait I don't see-" Shikamaru rebutted turning my way. I grabbed his face by the cheeks and pointed it out to him in the skies.

"Look see," I told him, "There's Mona Lisa and there's the fries . . ."

"Ohhh," Shikamaru remarked, recognition glittering in his narrow eyes.

"Well, glad you can see that," I stated giving him a pat on the back before getting up, "Anyway I have to get up I've work to do and a crock pot dinner to cook."

The whole gang just looked at me in surprise.

"You're cooking dinner?" Chouji asked, "But it's not even dinnertime."

"Of course it's not dinnertime," I quipped, "I won't have the time to cook dinner or breakfast for that matter which is why I like to do my food in the crock pot."

Just the very mention of the word food left Chouji's stomach purring like a Ninja pug. He rubbed it thoughtfully. Looked at me and then at Ino who gave him this Don't-you-ever-not-think-of-your-stomach look.

"Do you always end up with leftovers?" he asked.

"Sure," I said noncommittally, "Why not, I even use leftovers to not waste the leftovers, if you've got something for the pot, you can come down for dinner. I was gonna go down to ichiraku Ramen to see if they had any homemade noodles I could use up for a recipe base."

"Ramen?" Naruto perked like the cat hearing the can opener.

"Yes Naruto," I said, "Just some simple Ichiraku Ramen minus the trimmings."

"WooHoo," Naruto whooped, "Free Ramen!" No need for the door he just rocketed out of the third story window.

Suddenly the thought hit me. What have I done? I just invited an infinite number of people to dinner on top of the research I already need to do while finding the first piece of the painting. Good grief and don't get me started on appetites, I've already seen Naruto eat. He actually eats for two thanks having that nine tailed (which by the way is the size of a football field) fox sealed in his gut which gives him the vitality and appetite of at least three same sized people. Chouji probably eats enough for six! Good grief I had to ask Tsunade the Hokage for an extra _big _favor and fast!

"Excuse me Lady Tsunade," I croaked.

"Yes?" Tsunade asked waiting for my big statement, her eyebrow crooked with curiosity.

"Do you know where I can find an extra large crock pot I can borrow?"

* * *

Chapter 4 Community Crock Pot

So who could say no to free food? What surprise geust is going to make a crashing entrance in this chapter. Stay tuned for the spills, laughs and adventure.


	5. Chapter 4: The Community Crock Pot

Author's note: I don't own the Naruto series. I'm staying true to the series and as true as I can for the characters within it. Clarity however *wince* has once again gotten the odds stacked against her for her very survival. There are people here that want to kill her now more than ever, especially the ones trying to protect her and unmercifully so, I find it hilarious! XD Stay tuned as Clarity goes back to her conniving ways and watch the sparks and shuriken fly.

* * *

**Clarity in Konoha**

**Chapter 4: The Community Crock Pot**

Well my ding-a-ling suggestion got a lot more enthusiasm than I would've hoped because I ended up getting two _big _crock pots instead of just one. Tsunade just swung by swaying east and west. Her grin being one of ecstasy and those two enormous crock pots wobbled in her uneasy grip. She slurred a hefty greeting. I rushed to the rescue before she broke something.

"Lady Tsunade; are you drunk?" I asked, I mean is this really the same woman I met earlier? She had this blushy look to her face that said 'legendary sucker' to me.

"Ohaiyo Gozaimaaasu Clarity-chan," Tsunade slurred, "heh-heh *hic*"

THUD

Murray threw a tennis ball at her to see if she'd catch it. Unfortunately, it hit her square in the face. She promptly passed out.

Murray pondered this result a little before coming to his breakthrough stating, "Yup she's smashed!"

Tsunade let out a pained groan. Another woman bringing in some Tupperware while holding a pet pig burst into the room. I could notice her short dark hair, onyx eyes, and that black and white kimono outfit fit her slender figure like a glove. The pet pig let out several oinks as if to reprimand the now hung over Hokage of Konoha. Good grief, even this woman giving her such a reprimand that Tsunade was probably too hung over to hear otherwise.

"You said that sake was for the guests Lady Tsunade," the woman quipped, "You know you can make such a bad impression by getting drunk on the way here."

"Well then here, bottoms up lady," told Murray as he grabbed a jar, poured the contents into the now empty sake bottle, and slide it across the counter. Tsunade, being one never to turn down alcohol as I recently learned, grabbed the bottle and just guzzled the whole thing. She turned green and unloaded her stomach into the kitchen sink.

"Gross!" Tsunade whined "What was in that stuff!"

"It's just pickle juice," Murray jeered, "an old fashioned cure for hangovers if I do say so myself."

"Wow," the other woman applauded, "That's a little odd but pretty effective. Where'd you learn to do that?"

"Oh I was homeless for a year after my divorce." Murray beamed,

That cheery depressant info earned a sweat drop from everyone in the room. The story of Murray's life is old news to me. You see his ex-wife cheated on him with my scrooge of an ex-boss when they were married. During the divorce, Murray's spouse took her share, his share and booted him out with nothing but the clothes on his back. He really was homeless for a year till he met me and together (along with a poker playing miracle) bought the shop that I still run today. Sure Murray can be such a simpleton at times but sometimes the simpleton support works wonders to lift just about anyone's mood. Even the lady who was reprimanding Tsunade earlier was suddenly looking a lot cheerier thanks to a simple solution anyway.

"This is my assistant Shizune," Tsunade, still trying to forget the taste in her mouth, pointed to the lady before pointing to the pig; "The pig here is TonTon."

"Hello," I greeted while washing the (shivers) vile barf down the sink, "Thanks for coming."

"No problem," Tsunade muttered with her feisty grin a bit off, still not believing she guzzled down at least 750 milliliters of pickle juice.

A few familiar guffaws caught my attention. Kakashi Hatake along with the rest of his little team (Naruto, Sakura, and even the ever blank faced Sai) was leaning into the window with chortling in abundance. I moved whatever books and scrolls I had checked out from the library. Naruto took this as an invitation and leaped through the window. He stuck his hands on his hips, thrust the package out in front of my face and gave me this obnoxious foxy grin.

"BEHOLD," Naruto yelled, "FOR I BRING YOU GOOD TIDINGS OF GREAT RAMEN."

"Oh gee thanks Naruto," I replied taking the package and giving it a good squeeze, "homemade noodles, yum!"

"Believe it!"

Just about everybody face faulted after this except for Sai who stood at the window with a clueless grin on his face. They probably already heard the tale of me throwing a cup of coffee at the kid when he first squealed in my shop. I was already used to being with these crazy ninjas by now anyway. I definitely had plenty of time to see what Tsunade and Shizune also brought. It just turned out to be a Tupperware container of fresh vegetables. This day just kept getting better and better.

Well except not in Naruto's perspective as he screwed up his lips and made a disgusted face.

"Ehhhh?! Fresh vegetables?" He sneered, "Yuck!"

Sakura, gave him a good whack on the noggin sending the dude flying across the little island of this cozy kichenette stating, "Naruto don't be rude!"

"What'd I do?" Naruto asked as he popped up promptly. The poor dude had a goose egg the size of a tomato.

I was already chopping vegetables when the next trio showed up. Sakura was helping me out in the kitchen. Tsunade and Shizune were having an animated conversation with Murray who enjoyed the attention. Kakashi still had my I-pod, and put the audio book Make-out tactics on repeat. Sai, probably out of boredom, cracked open a book while an announcement blared from the door.

"I shall shower the crock pot with my flames of youth!" the guy yelled which got me to thinking gee, it must be Rock Lee.

"I thought you were only going to shower it with curry powder," dead panned an unimpressed Neji.

"It's not the end of the world," reassured TenTen, "I mean cheer up it's free food done by a pretty strong girl."

I could've felt much obliged when I went for the door only too see it burst open with some crazy man in a neon green jumpsuit yelling, "HAVE NO FEAR THE BEAUTIFUL GREEN BEAST IS HERE!"

WHUMPH!

The door barely missed my nose. Who was this guy? Why did he look like Lee only in a taller crazier fashion? Plus WHO THE HECK BRINGS TEN FIFTY POUND SACKS OF CURRY POWDER?! Good grief even Lee came with at least the same amount to which they both plopped them on the floor with a quaking thud.

"Hey Guy-Sensei, let's bring a hundred more bags to prove our test of-"

WA-BAM SMACK

"Ow!" the duo yelped. What I didn't have by way of Coffee cups to stop those crazy beasts, I did make up for with a couple of expertly thrown pounds of ground beef, courtesy of Sakura. Kiba was laughing his head off as Team Kurenai (Hinata, Kiba, and Shino) had come in just when the flying bags of hamburger hit its bowl cut marks.

"HA-ha-ha-ha-ha," Kiba chortled, "Beware the flying burger!"

"H-h-hello . . . C . . . Clarity," Hinata choked.

"Your aim's impressive," Shino deadpanned, seriously the guy sounded like the monotone drone of killer bees before they claim a victim, "Have you had experience throwing Kunai or shuriken before?"

"Nope," I retorted, "I've already thrown everything else. Say where's Akamar-WOO!"

THUD

Akamaru leaned into me making me face fault to the linoleum floor. I groaned and leaned up on my hands until I was eye level with the dog's nose. Akamaru whined and gave me an apology lick before the faint aroma of good food assailed the nostrils. In a burst of childlike glee Akamaru bounded over to where I was standing in front of the crock pots and parked it! He plopped on the floor and moved nary a muscle. Neji and Tenten had to hike their legs to step over him as they went over to peel me from the floor.

Only; someone already had me half-way off the floor. Let's see, ninja boots, Mid-thigh leggings, a bandage wrap dress over a mesh top with a cottony three quarter sleeve royal blue shirt over said mesh top and creamy skin with red multi-rimmed eyes that were like being sucked into a vortex underneath a classic flip of long black hair. Lipstick aside, where have I heard of this woman before? She seemed the paternal big sister sort what with the way she dusted me off and all. It wasn't until Murray was poking me in the back of my head with a leftover celery stick that it finally came to me.

"You're Kurenai Yuhi aren't you?" I finally asked slamming my fist vertically into the palm of my hand now that the "Ah-ha" moment hit me.

Kurenai's pretty eyes widened in recognition to the name as she gazed shortly into my raw sienna orbs with a grin.

"You guessed right," Kurenai smiled, "And if I'm not mistaken, you're Clarity Cratchet the woman who threw a coffee cup at Naruto's head. Am I right?"

"Eh-heh," I chortled with my hand behind my head in the meantime, "right."

Just to avoid an awkward conversation, I bobbed and weaved my way through the sea of chattering people, stepped over Akamaru (who was still parked in front of the crock pots), and over to my bag where I pulled out my frilly camouflage print heart cut apron and slipped it onto my tiny frame. A whole bunch of snickers erupted from the room the room again. Heck even Shino was laughing and I could now tell why he never laughs. The boy guffaws through his nose.

"What?" I asked as I tied up a big flouncy camo-bow in the back, "You've never seen me wear an apron before?"

"Ah but your apron," teased Sai through his mirth mask, "looks ridiculous."

"Then sue me," I retorted back. Sure it looked ridiculous. Good grief I found it in a Mary Maxim catalogue back when I first learned to sew. I suddenly decided it looked ugly and needed improvement. So, I decided to sew on a grasshopper hopping through the phrase **"EAT ME"** quilted in big block letters on the front. I made it way too big for my size when I was at least 6 or 8. It's only now that I've grown into the darn thing in the first place.

Apron subject aside I took a knack at all the packages left on the counter that had been brought so far. Kiba's package turned out to be a bunch of sausage links. I guess the Inuzukas like their meat. TenTen had a few pretty big onions. Gee I wonder who'll show the tears from cutting these suckers. Neji's package turned out to be a pot of some kind of broth. I sniffed it tentatively and Neji glared saying 'it was an old family recipe.' I'm guessing it was just stuff from the supermarket shelf but hey Mr. High-and-mighty can have his moment for the time being. Kakashi's package turned out to be salt and pepper – wait a minute- HE TOOK THESE OFF THE KITCHEN STOVE, the cheapskate! I felt a shy disturbance in the conundrum and turned to see Hinata inching away from Naruto . . . again.

"Yo, Hinata! Naruto!" I bellowed. Hinata jolted like she had been shot and Naruto whipped around at the sound of his name. "Get over here!"

They clambered over with that stance wondering what the heck I was shouting about.

"Hey Naruto," I asked with my voice barely above a whisper making those two lean in real close, the volume trick worked every time when I wanted to get people's attention or in this case turn something up a notch, "could you help me out preparing the ramen, I'm a total klutz when it comes to noodles and you guys look like the experts for the job. May I have some help please?"

"Sure why not," Naruto loudly beamed while Hinata was turning dizzying shades of red. She looked ready to hit the floor.

"Hold it fainty locks," I toned with a grip on her arm to steady her, "No chefs faint on the job on my watch."

"Oh?" Neji smirked, "and what makes you think that Hyuuga is an expert?"

"Because she works hard and she earns it," I chattered as I grabbed an onion and tossed it in Neji's direction, "Here Mr. High-and-mighty, peel and chop."

"I . . . am . . . not . . . _doing _the onions." Neji sneered, "I hate spicy food."

I laughed, I mean Naruto already told me about the time they used a spicy curry shop as their HQ during a mission. Good grief that stuff had Neji so traumatized he couldn't even look at bell peppers for a week! Not to mention just the smell of spicy foods activates Neji's byakugan to the point he's seeing things _no man_ would want to see. Well I had to poke fun at Mr. High-and-mighty sometime. Just because he got the word servant inscribed in his forehead doesn't mean he has to act all uppity at anyone else.

"Can I chop onions?" Shino asked flatly which surprised me. I mean doesn't the guy not like strong smelling food?

"Ah . . . Okay," said I with a scratch of my head. Neji gratefully threw the onion to Shino who caught with barely a flick of his wrist as a couple insects started prowling the kitchen.

My inner voice of insanity madly chattered, _Ha ha with a walking bug house like that, he'd drive the health inspectors nuts! How Fabulous!_

I waved my inner voice aside as I picked up the remaining packages. Shino seemed totally poised on the onion chopping. Anime tears swam down in a thick waterfall down his face. The guy seemed to be pretty intent on helping out any group he was apart of. Though he kind of looked embarrassed when I showed him the sink and told him you had to peel them and rinse them first before you cut them.

Naruto could not tell what Neji was glaring at me for. I was already peppering Mr. High-and-mighty with questions about the Byakugan and what all 64 chakra points did.

Neji glared at me and scoffed, "I don't get why such a lowly civilian like yourself has to ask me about my Kekkai Genkai when you could ask anyone else."

"Well you're the only one doing nothing so I'm doing research," I happily snapped back, yeah whiny kids and their angry moms have always been my most dangerous customers but proud uppity know-it-alls like him are ripe for the plucking especially when I know what makes them seeth or tick, "and besides I already see Hinata getting all warm and cozy next to Naruto. Just think, in a few years from now you might just have a nice Knuckleheaded ramen obsessed in-law with maybe ten little Uzumakis wanting a bedtime story from their 'Uncy Neji'" I purred.

I guess Neji got worried when the green beast goon squad and Murray, who was just caught up in the moment, danced around singing, "THE SPRINGTIME OF LOVE IS IN THE AIR."

Neji finally got up off his duff to help Hinata which made me giggle. I mean Mr. Proud seemed to have such a big brother complex when it came to any strange boy helping out his "Hinata-sama." Even if said strange boy was obviously Hinata's childhood crush. At least that was something to be expected. A pretty normal thing I've seen time and again between siblings and cousins.

"Hmmm," I thought, "Where'd Sai run off to?" From what I've learned so far about Sai, he seems more like the kind of guy who'd pick something up in a book and try it out especially since he's always reading those self-help guides for social situations. There wasn't any animated ink blots flying around as far as I could tell and I couldn't leave the kitchen. Kiba would keep sneaking sausages to Akamaru who moved from his parking spot in front of the crock pots to practically crawling into Kiba's lap. I mean good grief don't we need some ingredients for the crock pot?

"Don't worry," Kurenai chided, "I brought extra since I already knew this would happen."

Thank you Kurenai! At least that solved the sausage shortage. Shino's package was . . . a . . . bit confusing. I went to ask what it was.

". . ." Shino looked confused as he asked, "You've never seen potatoes before?"

"Well," I sighed, "I just don't get how you could open something like this."

I showed Shino the package. That Lumpy thing was wrapped up in nothing but butcher paper, duct tape, tin foil and cellophane. I mean what was he thinking? Was I gonna gnaw it off with my teeth? Who wrapped this?

"I wrapped it just so it could be bug proof," Shino answered with a shrug I mean what kind of bugs does he keep in himself, the Swiss army cooties or something? He paused for a second then he told me, "Get some scissors."

That certainly sent me rummaging through kitchen drawers. I took some time to open the drawer closest to the window when I saw a very familiar sight walking down the street. Let's see, bossy blonde, big heavy set dude with swirls on his cheeks, and a lazy guy lagging at least ten steps behind for the sake of seeing Mona Lisa eat a chili cheese dog among the clouds. Couldn't tell who the smoker was but something told me just to head out the door.

"Hey," I called out running down the street, "Shikamaru! Chouji! Ino! Who's that with you?"

"Clarity!" Ino suddenly beamed, "Hi!"

Chouji gave a small wave of his hand. Shikamaru suddenly sped up about ten paces and the smoker, now that I got a better look at him, just gave me this hats off salute. He sported the regular Konoha ninja uniform with this sash that had the Kanji "fire" in a red circle and a bracelet upon each wrist. His brown eyes gave me this questionable once over as he stroked his black beard before scratching his spikey black hair. Meanwhile the smoke stung my eyes. He probably smokes at least two packs a day since I could see half of one peeping out his vest pocket and the other must be in his Kunai pouch somewhere.

Finally he says, "You don't look like someone who went up against an armed Konoha Ninja."

"You also don't exactly act like what people think a ninja should act like." I answered back. Usually complete strangers would hit me by now but this guy just let out a hearty laugh.

"Oh I get it your that harp-eek!" The guy's laughter was cut short by my knee to his groin.

"Asuma-sensei!" The trio shouted, Chouji balled up his fist. I spun on my heel and ducked leaving poor Asuma to get the full power of that Partial Expansion Jutsu punch! No words, enough said. Ino looked flabbergasted, slapped me across the face as Shikamaru stood dumbfounded. I guess he wouldn't be finding this show troublesome after all. I rolled into the street.

ZING THOK

"INO LOOK OUT!" I yelled as a Kunai whizzed by, graizing my ear. Asuma was still doubled over (my bad). Yet the onslaught continued. I scrambled out of the street followed by scores of shuriken. Shikamaru grabbed me by the arm and dragged me down the street.

"Wait," I yelled, "The potatoes, I forgot the potatoes!"

"We're trying to save your life," Shikamaru yelled, "and you're worried over potatoes?!"

I yanked my hand away snarling, "Yes, I'm worried over potatoes!"

I could tell Shikamaru was trying to be logical but as for me, but I don't do logic sometimes.

"But you're bleeding," he stammered. I put a hand to my bleeding ear.

"It's just a scratch," I shrugged, "I'm going to get the potatoes."

"But . . . What about your face," He asked, "You might not be . . . Pretty . . . Anymore."

"Do I look like I care about beauty?" I glared "I care. About. Poe Tay Toes."

"Well," Shikamaru sighed, "forget about the potatoes."

"I'M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT THOSE POTATOES!" I roared leaving Shikamaru running for the hills as I ran back into the line of fire.

"What a drag," Shikamaru moaned, "Darn troublesome Harpy Lady."

KA-THUD

I gave Shikamaru a blast on the noggin from a set of flying cellophane wrapped potatoes as soon as I was safe out of Harm's way. Meanwhile, Sai, who disappeared during all this chaos was reporting to some weird guy with a bandaged scar chined face and half his arm covered for some reason when he was in front of the council. I don't know why, I wasn't there but the meeting went something like this.

"Is that all you have for your report?" Danzo would ask with a wary eye over his charge as he leaned on his cane importantly.

"Oh yes that is all Danzo-sama," Sai grinned, "Murray is an idiot, the harpy lady and Jinchuriki look about ready to kill each other and thanks to the harpy lady's recklessness over a bunch of potatoes after kneeing a jounin in the groin. She is not allowed out of her confines without two escorts, squad of anbu on arse, and nothing on her to throw at people since she's a scary little hothead."

"That's good," Danzo replied as his lips would twitch into almost a grin, "Continue."

Then with that Sai would dissappear into the night in a puff of smoke. My Inner voice was jittering madness at me again but something in my gut told me something wasn't right. Sai was the only guy, _not _in the kitchen. While Sakura was patching me up while yelling at me for being an idiot Sai walked into the room. I was about to give Sai a piece of my mind but decided to think nothing of it. I already caused enough damage to flip Konoha on its ear in one night. I was a civilian, these were ninja, I didn't have the same skill sets they had. What I did have was people skills, a nasty temper, and a brain full of trivia facts that'd be useless in the face of combat.

The wave of displeasure floating across the room was the first wave of killing intent I felt in a long time. Sure, people wanted to kill me. That was my fault I knew it. What I didn't expect Kurenai, Asuma, Hinata and even Sakura suddenly hug on me like I was going to cry. I'm almost got killed, but I wasn't gonna cry. I won't cry. I won't cry.

Ah screw it! I was balling my eyes out and the waterworks wouldn't stop!

"There there," crooned Kurenai as she pat me on the head, "It's all right."

"Are you kidding me!" I wailed, "People almost got killed tonight because of me! I'm not going to take this sitting down!"

Sai was just about to turn the corner but I could see him stop short. He's never actually seen someone cry before huh? Well I'm not much of a drama queen but I did get a pretty good idea on how to push buttons. I needed him awake. I needed him so wrought with guilt that I can be sure to see him come sunset. I stopped fighting the tears and let them fall.

"It's all my fault!" I sobbed, "It's all my fault people get hurt because of me especially when they didn't deserve this. Nobody deserves this at all."

I peeked one eye through my fist to see waves of sympathy ooze from the crowd. I could see Naruto in the corner balling up his fists. Yes he knew what I was doing. He knew the whole guilt sympathy routine. I knew he was going to slam to a wall and challenge me about tonight. I had escort number one ready and waiting but what about escourt number two, Sai. Sai hid his emotions well but that's nothing compared to body language. He was hiding something I could feel it!

"So anyway," I finally beamed. Everyone face faulted. Yes from sad to happy in a minute flat. Impressive no? "No use crying I've got a crock pot to finish."

"It's already done," said Ino.

"What?" I asked, as I undid my apron.

"It's already done," Ino announced, "It just needed Hinata's all spice, Chouji's BBQ ribs minus the bones of course, my tomatoes and Asuma's thyme. We finished it while you were balling your eyes with your sob story."

Of course, the guilt sympathy routine is a two way street. There's this embarrassingly awkward pause at the end. The moment of truth whether I'd be wracked with guilt myself for playing everybody for a fool or sleep well knowing my plan was coming into bloom. I swallowed my pride knowing full well I looked like H.E. double L right now. All eyes were upon me, I was center stage and ready to give my final performance for the evening.

I just smiled my best smile and answered, "All righty then let's eat!"

Tsunade seemed to be trying her best not to laugh her wazoo off at such predinner entertainment. TonTon oinked and curled up in Shizune's lap. Shizune tugged at Tsunade's sleeve with deep concern. Tsunade just giggled, giddy about the fact she had nary a drink of sake the entire evening and had a new form of entertainment to please her. I sat directly across from her on purpose to show I was being a good girl. I didn't tell her the many years I had taken up dodge ball as a hobby but I did tell her about my talent for self preservation.

Murray was busy chortling on a face full of noodles before he swallowed and asked the hokage, "Hey Lady, What's so funny?"

"I've been sober," She stated, "What else is new."

"Besides the fact that I endangered lives for a bag of potatoes when our mysterious group hit." I muttered then something came to me, in a jittering bout of madness I asked, "Could anybody hand me a kunai?"

"Hai," said a unanimous audience as all of the ninja showed me a kunai but then remembered the Hokage's orders of lending me stuff to throw at them and promptly put their respective kunai away.

* * *

**Chapter 5: The Compound Complex**

**You bet Naruto's definately ready to butt heads with Clarity now! Once again, the madness continues as Clarity ducks a bunch of Anbu, bribes Jiraiya and suddenly gets an apprentice of sorts who finds out artistry and Ninja dealings go insane hand in hand. Yet what'll happen when Kakashi suddenly meets a blast from the Kakashi Gaiden past. Who are the "forgotten ninja"? Stay tuned and find out where Clarity will get her wazoo kicked once again by the mysterious ninja group. Please stay tuned, send a review my way and even bookmark this just to find out. ^_^**


	6. Chapter 5: The Compound Complex

**Author's Note: **I don't own Naruto or the Rogue Three which are Arikara, Yuukihana, and Daishioryu. Naruto is owned by Kishimoto and the Rogue three are some O.C.'s done by an artist known as Devonna. She lost her life in a train wreck on November 7, 2008 and I did make sure to get permission from the family before I could put the Rogue Three into my story.

If you're a huge Naruto fan (which reading this I'm sure you are) and want to check out some of her amazing work, just click on the url. She does very seemless transitions between her own artwork and some famous clips from the T.V. show.  
.com/user/dragonspirt

**

* * *

**

**Clarity in Konoha**

**Chapter 5: The Compound Complex**

It was basically midnight when I finally came up for some air! I mean my research has been going good don't get me wrong, but having to spend nearly six hours hunched over a table is murder upon my back. I was madly scribbling away under any sketches I made in my sketch book before the clock chimed twelve. I got up, stretched, and went to the window of my room with a satisfied smile.

Naruto was busy pacing in front of my door like a rabid weasel. Who could blame the guy? I pushed his buttons on purpose. I stood out with my fleecy pink Pajamas and frog slippers while Sai was trying to blend in with the wall which he would have done a good job if I hadn't stained his shoes with soy sauce and Linseed oil. It's a remarkable aroma that's actually attracted heaves of raccoons to my trash can once when I was ordering Chinese takeout. Right now a cute purple kitty was latched onto a bump on the wall that happened to be a foot trying to shoo the cat. I watched the pallid foot wiggle for at least twenty more seconds before I opened the window to call my little _"stalker" _in.

"Hey Sai," I called out into the dark, the foot disappeared into the wall almost immediately, "You know the second edition to Fun with Friends states it's not nice to spy on others especially when you're stalking them for . . . Special . . . reasons. Must be making you feel a wee bit guilty. No?"

"Sai?" the wall asked, "I know no Sai. I'm just a wall."

My face fell there. Man, having this guy fall for the whole guilt sympathy routine made this guy worse at ninja stealth than a two year old caught with both hands in the cookie jar. Naruto was too busy pacing. The ANBU were switching patrols around my meager accommodations. So, I decided it was a good time to walk out onto to the roof and face the talking wall.

RIIIP

EEP!

Sai gasped as his face darted away from the hole I made in his clever little ink blot trick. I know a good artist when I see one and Sai is the only ninja artist I know. Sure he had talent to match black Ink near a white wall but it when it comes to artist versus artist; I was the one with more experience and nearly a lifetime of formal artistic training to boot. I could hear scuffling under the thin pseudo wall. My guilty little spy was about to make a run for it.

RIP

I made another hole in the wall and stuck in my head chiding, "Sai, don't you go running off to your little council peeps. I know it's you."

The wall was silent for a moment before it finally dissolved revealing a blanching pallid man hunched on the ground giving me that haunted don't-hurt-me look. Good grief and now I'm the bad guy? True I did scare him spit less and some of the things I've done can make any grown man cry but Sai suddenly went from Mr. Mature to an emotionless child like those old photos of orphans from the great ninja wars. I shuddered, good grief, Sai's superiors might just weep if they saw him now caught red handed by a civilian. The cat seemed to chuckle, funny cat. Well as far as I can tell, cats can't speak so this thing won't say anything anyways right?

The cat let itself into my room. The ANBU were going to fly back around any minute. I rubbed Sai's back encouragingly, the same way I'd seen Kurenai do so on Hinata when she was close to having another one of her fainting spells around Naruto. Sai was about to get up and dash off until . . .

KRICK

I found that one chakra point in the neck that makes half the body go numb and Neji said asking him about anything would prove useless. I'm not a taijutsu master but I do have a pretty good way of using knowledge as my foremost and most powerful weapon if I have the dumb luck to make it work. It did, I led Sai inside in the nick of time. Mask Ninjas whisked high overhead. All they saw was me closing the curtains. It was just another boring day on patrol for the ANBU huh?

Too bad for Sai, as soon he got the feeling back in his limbs he tried to smile. That smile didn't reach his eyes. I could tell he was going to try and lie to me. He probably had no idea what was going on. I sipped the chai I was nursing. I waited for him to speak.

"Take off the mask Sai," I told him as calmly as I would tell any students entering my shop, "I want to speak to the real Sai. The _true_ Sai, you don't need to ever hide from me at all."

Sai's posture relaxed and his face slackened. His eyes were emotionless orbs of nothing. So this is what sixteen years of special training can do to s guy. Kakashi once told me of a special organization of Ninjas called ROOT run by some dude named Danzo. They'd take kids at an impressionable age and would train them separately to be emotionless killing machines. Well ninjas are basically shuriken throwing soldiers after all even if they start out at age twelve. He looked like he'd already been a pro blood spiller when the rest were just genin. I could see why he always wore his "Mirth Mask" he seemed to never have shed a tear at all.

"I'm sorry," Sai bowed and stood, "I have to go home now."

"Write your report for Danzo here Sai," I intoned as he turned to leave, "If you're going to just spy on me and make reports, do so in front of my face. You already know what happens when you keep me in the dark."

Sai spun on his heels like whip lash with surprise in his eyes one moment and his "Mirth Mask" on the next.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Sai beamed, but his shaking knees spoke volumes of oh crud I'm in trouble now.

"But I do know you what you weren't saying," I snapped, "You promised not to kill me and keeping tabs on how I screwed up and reporting to some guy that wants to take over the globe is still just as much a guarantee to get everybody let alone me killed."

GULP

Sai backed away at least ten paces to the window when a high pitched voice roared, "CLARITY IF YOU DO ANYTHING TO SAI I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR-"

FWING

ROWR

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHGH!

THUD!

Sai just shot to the ceiling. I was too busy huffing and puffing to notice I just threw a purple cat into Naruto's face. Naruto in a wave of anguish crawled through the window. Scratches galore covered every part of his body that didn't get covered in a bright orange jumpsuit. Meanwhile the cat was arching its back at me! Her seafoam green eyes ablaze with demonic hatred as she arched her back and caterwauled before growling off into the night. Oh wait so that cat was a female? No wonder! I mean no one ever gets mad like a woman or lives to tell the tale.

Speaking of living, Naruto was seething mad as he rose and yelled, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!"

"You scared me!" I snapped, "I've been being stalked by the black ops since I had kneed Asuma in the crotch and don't start that smirk with me mister. I know it was my fault and you know it too."

"Yeah," Naruto laughed, "Well at least your balling face was stinking hilarious!"

"It so was not!"

"Was too."

"Was not!"

"Yeah huh."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh."

"Shut up!" I yelled

"You shut up." Naruto sneered.

"Uh guys?" Sai asked, when he finally found the nerve to peel himself from the ceiling during our argument, "Guys? Shouldn't we stop fighting?"

"And who asked you?!" we snarled shooting death glares at Sai. Sai bolted for the window when I caught him by the fanny pack.

"Whoa no you don't!" I quipped and flung the teen into a chair, "Both of you sit! I have a proposition to ask of you."

"A prop of what now?" Naruto inquired, confusion scrunching his features.

"Please escort me to the Uchiha compound." I begged and bowed letting my face hit the floor and my hair just cascade around my face, "I promise I'll get you as much Ramen as you can eat and then some if you go with me wherever I go right now."

"Free Ramen?" Naruto beamed, ears perked, his eyes aglow, "All I can eat?"

"As much as I can afford," I answered with my most pleasing smile. It's still going on the Hokage's tab of course. She said she'd fund the mission right?

"Then I'm your man Dattebayo!" Naruto whooped at the top of his lungs.

"What's in it for me?" Sai asked, I wondered when he'd say that.

"Well Sai," I said as I took out an old leather bound tatty book that used to be my Masters' before they passed it onto me multiple times over, "How'd you like to become my apprentice."

Sai's face fell, what did he expect me to do give him free art supplies for a year?! I guess that was what he expected because that doe eyed teary face he gave me broke my heart. Jeez for a guy who can't read situations well he sure can act out of sorts sometimes especially when it comes to art.

"Okay look," I snorted, "You've got plenty of raw talent, I'll give you that but I've also got some experience and knowledge in arts that are hundreds if not _thousands_ of years old. Heck, they might even be a bit older than some of the jutsus you use now. I mean think about it, if you want to be taught by a master like me then great but if not then well . . ."

"I'm your man!" Sai interjected.

"Good," I stated as I flipped to a page I already wrote up in the tatty old ledger, "Sign here and I'll see you guys in the morning."

They signed their names away and leapt back home to bed. What I didn't tell them was that I'd be seeing them at five in the morning which is at least a couple hours after the time I usually get up. I showered, dressed, brushed my teeth, and packed away enough espresso in a nice big thermos to get me through the day. I was already bright eyed and bushy tailed when I called up Hinata at around Three thirty five. Hinata was about to tell me to shut up and go back to bed until I told her about my little contract deal with Naruto. As of which it took her seconds to get around and when I ended seeing Hinata's father Hiashi glaring at me as he trounced through the door into the kitchen made me wonder. Was this old fart an early bird too?

He was a clan head though which around here commanded respect so I decided to give the old Hyuuga my respects American Style. (1)

"Oh Hinata hi," I beamed giving her and her father some gruesome bear hugs, "Good morning, come on in and is this big guy your father? My, my, Hiashi Hyuuga sir I've heard so much about you but never got to meet your aquaintance. I'm Clarity Cratchet and this is my partner, Murray."

Murray was busy at the kitchen counter dueling a bowl corn pops before shouting, "HELLO!"

"What brings you here today?" I beamed, "Can I get you anything; Tea; Coffee?"

Man that trick always took the formal wind out of any politician's sails. Hiashi was as stiff as a board the entire time especially when I gave the two another bear hug. He stiffened at the close contact. Hinata, however, bowed her head in a duly noted demurest bow. Boy you can take royalty out of the castle but you can't take the castle out of royalty. Well at least I was able to throw all that formal who haw out the window. Murray volunteered to man the fort as Hiashi decided to follow Hinata and Myself to Sai's house as he wondered with amusement why I had to bring two buckets of Ice Water, thermos of espresso, and my Art bag all the way there.

"Wakey Wakey eggs and Bakey Sunshine," I called to Sai, "Good Morning Call on the rocks."

KER-PLASH

"Five more minutes," Sai sputtered and tossed around in his bed. I grabbed a couple handfuls of ice and plastered it to his pallid midsection.

"OH MY KAMI! COLD!" He screamed. Hiashi was laughing his arse off till he couldn't breathe. Sai blinked, looked around the room, Hinata was flabbergasted at my sudden change from polite to sinister. I couldn't help myself, it was priceless. Next stop was Naruto's apartment. Sure he locked the door but even that wasn't a match for my trusty screwdriver, wire hanger and mad lock picking skills!

"C-clarity," Hinata hesitated, "I don't think you should-"

CLICK-CLICK

CREAK

KERPLASH

Naruto was sawing Z's one second and out of bed the next. I was feeling kind of ornery at five o'clock in the morning. Naruto, however grabbed me by the shirt sputtering "What the heck was that for!"

"I did say to see you two in the morning didn't I?" I smirked.

"But it's freakin' five o'clock in the morning!" Naruto groaned.

"Yeah," I shrugged, "So?"

Naruto exploded off the balcony. With a jump start I was already on my way to Ichiraku's within five minutes. Naruto was going from roof top to roof top at top speed. I slowed down and detoured around the Hokage towers.

"**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu," **Naruto growled as he suddenly multiplied three fold sending copies of himself all over Konoha to scour the streets. Sai caught up with me in front of Ichiraku's. He told me he didn't feel like something heavy for breakfast so he went off for some Momen tofu or whatever. Hinata followed barely out of harm's way as the dissipated Narutos scattered in small clouds of smoke. Naruto landed three feet in front of me, grabbed me again, and was about ready to put a fist through my face.

"Do you think that's so funny huh?" Naruto seethed.

"Okay maybe I don't," I chortled with my hands up in surrender, "but I did promise you free ramen right?"

The sound of a burner being fired up and the smell of Miso broth sent stomachs rumbling. Okay, now that I think about it, the only thing I had was half a pot of coffee this morning. It never really occurred to me to eat. I mean why run for one's life on an empty stomach right?

"Oh hey Naruto you're up early this morning," the chef, Teuchi I think the kindly man's name was, called out with a warm smile, "Is it pajama day or did you just sleepwalk here again?"

Uhhh . . . now that I noticed . . . Maybe I should've woke him up earlier just so he could get dressed. Hinata let a lot a low giggle. Naruto cringed in his neon P.J.'s and funny night cap. Who in their right mind runs around in that?

WHUMPH

Naruto literally dropped me on the ground before turning to Teuchi with a coy grin and flushed checks, "Hey Old Man Teuchi, Ayame, heh-heh. So how's the ramen this morning."

"It's fine Naruto-kun," Ayame gushed, her soft brown eyes glittered in amusement, "Your P.J.'s look cute. Did you go for a morning run or something?"

"Eh-heh," I grinned at the pair as I walked up beside him, "That'd be my fault. I promised him free ramen."

"Well it doesn't matter who pays," Teuchi grinned, "Naruto's been one of our best business bringers and I've already heard about you. Aren't you the girl who threw a coffee cup at his head?"

"Guilty as charged," I remarked as I took a seat next to Hinata at the bar. She was already set to grab the seat next to Naruto. Hiashi probably went home just so he could stop his giggle fits and come up for air. Naruto was too busy slurping bowl after bowl after bowl to notice Hinata. Hinata noticed me eyeing the two and turned to me instead.

"H . . . How do you do that?" She whispered.

"Hmm?" I hummed, the chopsticks dangled from my mouth.

"How do you get him . . . to notice you so fast?" Hinata asked her pearly eyes shined with a new determination I never saw before.

This was a prompt to set my chopsticks down and answer, "I take any chance not taken and look back with no regrets."

"What are you talking about?" Sai asked as I slurped up another noodle, I guess he arrived back really soon.

"I was just explaining to Hinata how people notice me," I explained, "and that's no with no chance left untaken and no regrets. Sure I feel guilty about the stuff I did such as kneeing Asuma in the crotch, arguing with Shikamaru over a bunch of potatoes and insulting half a billion people from here to kingdom come but I have no regrets. My talents are hard won. Trial and error has been my greatest teachers."

"So," Hinata was fiddling with her fingers like an old habit that died hard, "If I take a chance with Naruto-kun do you think he'll notice me?"

"He's already noticing you," I intoned with a swallow, "because you're taking a chance now."

"Hey Hinata, Clarity, what are you two talking about?" Naruto suddenly asked over the small wall of bowls. Hinata just about fell out of her seat as her face turned cadmium red. I had to laugh.

"All right it's half an hour to sunrise," I stated as I paid for the bill and left for the street, "Lesson one is going to be a training exercise at the Uchiha compound."

"Training?!" Naruto yelled dumbfounded, "You mean even Civilian artists go through training much like ninja?"

"Yes" I huffed, "I took Sai here as an apprentice but when I give one a lesson, that tends to include everybody. Now C'mon which way is it to the compound?"

"It's this way," Hinata pointed out, "Um M-may I join you?"

"Sure sure," I answered with a nonchalant wave, "Coming Sai?"

"Hai Claire-sensei," Sai toned as he sped up a few paces, which kind of embarrassed me a little. I mean I'm no sensei but at least he wasn't calling me Harpy Lady anymore.

Naruto however stopped me before I could walk any further.

"Okay what now Naruto?" I scoffed before I realized, "Oh yeah you're still in your bed clothes."

"If I ever get woke up like that again," Naruto warned as he narrowed his eyes at me with enough killing intent to wake the dead, "I promise you won't see what hit you."

"Okay I'll be sure to knock next time no problem," I scoffed, "but if you don't answer your phone again it'll be yet another Good morning call on the rocks I promise."

Meanwhile half way across town a little purple kitty cat was cursing in words not fit for man or beast. Oh yes, remember that cute purple kitty that I thought wouldn't say anything? The same cat that I absent mindedly threw at Naruto? The one that was sitting there when I interrogated Sai? Well that little cat had poofed herself into the true form of a sixteen year old sea foam green eyed purple haired _girl! _

She blew a dark purple bang out of her face as she dusted herself off grumbling, "I can't believe this. I just don't believe this! Why is it out of all the targets in the world does it have to be some grump guarded by a pale brat and ramen obsessed baka-head? Why couldn't it have been something like the fourth Kazekage or that one jerk we smeared all over the walls last week?!"

She'd dusted off her clothes; let's if I remember right it had to be a . . . black tank top under a see through black shirt that had a red long top over it separated by a tie belt and black Capri leggings finished off with black ninja boots. Well anyway this girl must've been ticked off. I only heard this second hand from a bunch of rumors around the city. Don't know her employers but this is where our mysterious group of ninja, The Rogue Three suddenly made their debut.

"YO! Jir . . . Rai . . . YAH!" the girl yowled enough to wake the dead, "We've got another one! She's a little spitball but you won't like who's been pulled in here. We need you down here . . . _now._"

"Are you sure you want to wake Jiraiya-san up so early Arikara," softly spoke up another young girl, a light brown haired blue eyed lady by the name of Yuukihana Mihara, who stepped up from the shadows rubbing the sleep from her eyes, "Couldn't you wait until maybe a little later in the morning. I mean at least your predicament wasn't so much of a disaster of when Daishioryu took a whack at her."

Arikara let out a silent sigh. Yuukihana was right; Daishioryu Tokuma wanted to get a whack at her as soon as he heard that civvy went up against a fully fledged Konoha ninja. Heck, he even opened fire on her as soon as she jammed a knee into some smoking jonin's crotch which, of course, was stupid, enough said. Daishioryu was simpering beside a lamp post right now. The wind playing with his green hair as his red eyes stared holes through the next building over. That black trench coat that he never let go of billowed in the breeze. Other than that nothing else happened. Arikara was impatient enough already for the morning and was not going to wait for some old perv to get out of bed.

"Oh Yuki," she sweetly asked, "Could you be a dear and bring the wall down please?"

"Well . . . uh . . . I don't know . . ." Yuukihana stuttered, as she hugged the edges of her purple T-shirt, fiddling with the grey long sleeved tee underneath, "Wouldn't we get noticed?"

"I don't care," She scoffed, "If that old fart is keeping us waiting then screw it. I want him down here now."

"Are you sure?" She asked

"_Now_," Arikara interrupted with a little glare that sent shivers down the spine.

Yuukihana cracked her knuckles and aimed a chakra charged jab into the wall in front of her.

SMASH

CRASH

"Agh, crimony, do you have to bring the place down?" Jiraiya freaked, his long wild mane of hair was suddenly askew despite the flush that blended those red lines at the corner of his narrow eyes into his cheeks as he muttered, "Give an old man a heart attack why don't ya."

"Well if you hired us to give you a heart attack instead of some really excellent recon then we must be doing a pretty good job aren't we?" Daishioryu spoke for once, a slight cock of his head to signal, 'I'm listening.'

"Yeah sure I hired you to get information not kill every single person you come across _Daishioryu._" Jiraiya implied like a dad berating a son. Daishioryu's face just fell with the weight of reckless landing on his head, "Well Arikara since it was definitely your turn to spy on the little Harpy Lady. What did you find out?"

"It seems the new artist they hired this time seems to have a knack for self preservation that specifically deals with places and people." Arikara reported.

"Yeah some preservation," Daishioryu scoffed, "All she did was yell; 'Potatoes I forgot the potatoes.'"

"Will you quit interrupting there's more," Arikara stammered, "It seems the Hokage has hired Team Kakashi to be her baby sitters specifically one Naruto Uzumaki. She and that baka-head are headed to the Uchiha district right now."

"OH SNAP!" Jiraiya remarked, "This is really bad."

"What do you mean old man?" Daishoryu asked.

"No time to explain," Jiraiya explained, "We have to get to this Harpy Lady now before she dooms this entire village. I don't want Naruto caught in the cross fire."

As much as I'd want to hurt to Jiraiya now (He called me a Harpy how come I can't live that down by now!), I didn't even know what was happening or the big adventure of horror that awaited Naruto, Hinata, Sai and I as we made our way through the front gates which didn't sit well in my gut. I was having a bad feeling about this. What freshly mowed lawns and beautiful gardens in an abandoned clan compound? Sai might've noticed this difference too but he didn't say anything. I decided to swallow my fear and look inside. I needed some clues just to find this painting and if there are signs of life where there shouldn't be any at all was a good place as any to start. It's like I said before, no chances left untaken and no regrets right?

* * *

**Chapter 6: Cameras, Butterflies and . . . Steve?!**

**Sai gets his first art lesson from his disgruntled artist of a sensei. Clarity and Company meet the mysterious ninja group for the first time that was . . . hired by Jiraiya?! Clarity literally embarasses Kakashi after they meet an army of forgotten ninja. Stay tuned to find out. **


	7. Chapter 6: Cameras, Butterflies & Steve?

**Author's Note: **I don't own Naruto or the Rogue Three. This is a story I write for fun that I hope others will enjoy.

* * *

**Clarity in Konoha**

**Chapter 6: Cameras, Butterflies and . . . Steve?**

"Okay Lesson 1," I stated, "Photography!"

I rummaged through my art bag and handed the trio each a simple digital camera earning a sweat drop from the trio. Hinata took the camera with a little hestitance since when I said everybody I did mean _everybody._ Sai almost looked disappointed. I know photography is not that old but I decided to play it by ear. Of course like the good student he was, he took the camera and waited for orders. What was this the army? Naruto on the other hand was prepared to snatch the orange digi-cam and give me an earful about my lameness.

"What's up with you," Naruto retorted with a snatch, "What is this, a joke?"

"It's a basic digital camera or what I'd like to call a granny shooter." I explained, patience wearing thin, must not strangle the meathead, almost _too _tempting, "If you're going to do anything, start with the basics, same goes for art. This exercise is training the artist to try and see something in a new light alright?"

"Oh," Sai crooned recognition lit up his face, "Kind of like when you're going to kill an enemy but instead of a kunai you're going to kill him with a camera."

"Agh," I remarked, "Sai you don't kill something with a camera!" Ergh, it's been forever since I taught anyone. I mean the last time I taught was when I was a substitute teacher for an all boys Jr. High and I'd invited a hot female nudist to pose for me! After that no school would **even hire** me for skittles™ since my model walked around school naked. I have to simplify my teachings, would showing be better than telling?

I took out my handy DSLR, did a cucumber roll into the lawn and caught a candid picture of Hinata and Naruto who were too busy looking at what I was doing instead of where I was aiming. The camera went off. My targets were trying to rub the flash from their eyes. I glimpsed the preview of my picture with successful triumph. The sunlight behind Hinata and Naruto had framed them in a soft halo of heavenly light. Sai was in the background but only as a defocused silhouette where my two targets at either side were in perfect focus. A lens flare reflected off Naruto's Hitai-ate which reflected in Hinata's pale eyes just right to catch the dreamy look on Hinata's face. Yes I'm awesome!

"Okay, you three come here!" I called gathering the three to show them my latest masterpiece, "This is what I meant."

"Oh . . . Wow!" Hinata awed, "That's really good Clarity-chan."

"So is that what you do with a camera?" furrowed Sai, "You just take pictures?"

"I take pictures of anything and everything but this is actually just a basic exercise at seeing things in a whole new light." I explained. Naruto was too excited to listen. He decided to copy me except he did a back flip. . .

WHUMPH

. . . And fell on a rock howling, "ITTAI!"

"You're not supposed to hurt yourself Naruto and be careful with that, you only get one camera period." I barked while Naruto was busy rubbing his head and pushing a bunch of buttons like a baby with a busy box. I took the camera gingerly from his hands and had to start from scratch at showing the idiot how to work the darn thing. Hinata only needed a few pointers and started taking a few pictures of some of the bugs. Since she knew Shino was a big insect fan (gee wonder why). Sai still stood there waiting for orders.

"Okay what's the deal here?" I asked Sai, "I thought you'd be more enthusiastic than Naruto even. You're just standing there like a decoy duck!"

"What do you want me to take pictures of again?" He asked.

I just sighed, great, lucky me; my first ninja apprentice and he expects me to tell him how to do _everything_. Okay, so how would Kakashi handle a situation like this besides taking out his favorite erotica novel and giggle like a girly girl? From what I remember of when he embarrassed Naruto and Sakura by telling me the great misadventures of when they were genin. He'd basically just explain it in lame man's terms. Especially to Naruto, who just didn't quite get it much like Sai was doing now.

"Okay Sai sunrise and sunset, morning and evening," I explained, "Those are the best times to take pictures because the lighting is. . ."

"The lighting is perfect for pictures." Sai finished.

"Right without the harsh glare of high noon now go around and take pictures of anything and everything from as many angles as possible. That's your camera now so take good care of it alright?"

"Ossu Claire-Sensei," Sai cheered and in a swirl of ink he faded away. I did not know what to do with that boy. Oh well, this was going better than I had thought. I took a step into an Uchiha house. Something rattled and slender fingers grabbed me before I became pin cushioned.

SHINK SHINK SHINK SHINK

"Clairity-chan! Are you okay?" Hinata asked, as her vessels popped around the glare of her byakugan. A flurry of kunai swirled into my vision as Hinata pushed me out of the way.

"**Gentle Fist: 13 Palm . . . 42 Palm . . . 64 Palm!" **Hinata yelled, her open palmed hands a flurry of motion. A glassy shield of Chakra reflected all sides of flying projectiles. I floored it out of the way as an army of unknown ninja, young and old fell upon Hinata in an array of worn out colors.

"Naruto! Sai!" I called out, "We need back up now!"

No answer but there had to be a way to get to them somehow. I already went to buy time before I left this morning so not even the ANBU would know we were here. Shikamaru's in a puzzling mess I cooked up (Don't ask I made Murray deliver an encoded letter). The only one too lazy to get up at five o'clock in the morning and hasn't left for his daily disappearances (Even captain Yamato said this he's always late unless it's urgent.) Would be . . .

Kakashi Hatake who just happened to walk by the compound gates with my I-Pod in his vest. I wasn't allowed to throw anything so how could I get his attention. Ah screw it! Just my presence without any escorts around should be enough. He wouldn't be able to hear anything anyway. I grabbed a Kunai and flung it at him.

KA-THUNK

It impale itself into Kakashi's book. So much for decent aim, I was aiming for his face. His lone eye widened in horror. He stood in shock. He saw me. He shook with rage and lunged! Sheesh so much for friendly but at least I got back up. I was running for my life.

"Help!" I yelled but too late.

Kakashi just finished a flurry of hand signs before I heard, **"Fireball Release: Great Fireball Technique."**

Naruto and Sai overheard the commotion and went to see what was going on. Only, eh-heh to have to haul Hinata and my behind to safety when a giant fireball came flying in from out of nowhere. The Ninja army also ran screaming. Kakashi pounced on me, sharingan spinning, only to pause and have his face slacken in horror.

"What," I asked Kakashi, I could only see his masked chin not the other half of him, "What's wrong."

"Obito?" Kakashi suddenly shook but this time blanched, "Rin? It can't be you're dead!"

Just as I was dropped, I turned to see two honey blond and black heads of hair disappear over the horizon. Kakashi, being a stickler for duty was about to report to the Hokage. This time it was my turn to slam Kakashi. I grabbed him by the scruff of his throat. He threw me but not before I grabbed his Kunai pouch and took the impaled book from its wretched sheath.

"What's the big deal Kakashi?" I snapped, "Why'd you do that for?"

"You hurt my book." Kakashi groaned, not believing I was being stupid again, "Now can I have it back please."

"No."

"Huh?" Kakashi intoned as a flicker of horror melted across his face, "No? Okay then little Harpy Lady what are you going to do that's going to make me regret it."

I _was only _going to hold this thing over his head since I finally found a weakness to exploit out of the great Copy Ninja Kakashi. I needed to find out more about this Obito and Rin but once Kakashi said the H-word. I decided to be evil. He wants to play the down and dirty? Well he just messed with the wrong woman!

"Hmmm let's see," I enthralled turning to the page Kakashi was last reading, I cleared my throat and read, "Oh my darling? My lovely honey buns, how I long to caress your soft bouncy buns and swirl my tongue over your perky bouncy mountain tops. You are so glittery and sugar free I can't help but love you guiltily. You are chocolatey, good a guilty pleasure that I can lick up and down from head to toe. In fact I think I'm going to do so right about now."

The next few pages I read out of Kakashi's Icha Icha Erotica are way too gross and intended for a more mature i.e. hormonal audience so I won't let you know what's on the pages. I read Kakashi's book out loud, in public, and at the top of my lungs. People looked at me like I was insane! So I was but Kakashi's reaction was priceless. He lunged for the book but I had a pencil shoved up his nose keeping him at arm's length. Hinata gasped as Naruto openly laughed at his sensei while Sai, heeding my masterful advice, took pictures of Kakashi and me at as many angles as possible as we went down the street. I went around the block and back to the uchiha compound while Kakashi was having the most embarrassing time of his ninja career.

"I call this one the '_Struggle in a Moment of Time_,'" Sai proudly announced as he showed everyone else one of his best pictures thus far, "It's my favorite."

"Yeah that's pretty good," I admitted, taking note of Kakashi's flailing arms and my opened mouth, "A moment of time indeed."

I was busy repairing the damage I had done to Kakashi's book while Kakashi was sitting there with his head resting in one hand, I-pod on his lap, and pouting. I just resewn the binding on the book and made a seemless repair of the gaping hole that used to be there. I had to admit that perverted book looked as good as new. I almost handed it to Kakashi's outstretched arm before I remembered why I took it in the first place.

"So," I asked, "Who's Obito and Rin?"

"My old teammates," Kakashi scoffed, "Can I have my book back?"

"No," I responded, "Elaborate for me, who is Obito and Rin?"

"Obito Uchiha and Rin . . . I forgot her last name," Kakashi pinched the bridge of his now sore nose as he continued, "were my best friends and team mates when I was nine or so when I was a student of the fourth hokage during the third great ninja war. Obito was always late, lazy, and always made up excuses but he never abandoned his comrades. Rin was a sweet natured medic nin who had a crush on me while Obito had a crush on her. It's kind of ironic, when trying to save Rin, Obito got crushed under a bunch of rocks. Rin put a little bit of him in me after I came to the rescue and here's all that's left of him."

Kakashi pointed to his sharingan eye, covered by the headband.

"Oh I get it," I finally realized as I handed Kakashi his book back, "You took on some of his habits as a way to honor his memory."

"Yes, now can we please stop," Kakashi intoned, "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Naruto was sitting cross legged between Hinata and me as he leaned over to whisper, "Oh man and I usually never hear much about Kakashi's past."

Well at least I got some kind of clue during the little excursion though this was not the way I thought I'd get it. Okay so now we would've been getting up to go chase some dead guy if it weren't for some sudden sensation of eyes, billions of them actually boring holes in my back. I turned to look and caught sight of nothing. I turned to ask the rest if they got the same feeling. Naruto just shrugged his shoulders, Sai; no comment, Hinata looked a little confused and Kakashi was regarding me with a grain of salt.

"No seriously," I said, "Someone's here and not just here . . . here I mean I think we may have a couple or more stragglers of those ninja that attacked earlier."

"That's not possible," Naruto scoffed, "or us ninja would have-" He paused as he felt what he probably would've said about feeling a couple chakra signals flare up a long time ago.

"**Byakugan," **Hinata focused her eyes into some random northwest corner, "Actually . . . Clarity's right, there are two chakra signatures, a boy and a young girl?"

Kakashi unsheathed a kunai before I stopped him, "Hold it Kakashi, what are you trying to do? One of them is just a kid!"

"The other isn't," he rebutted

"Yeah but," I stammered but got cut short by a sudden blast of wind knocking me into a nearby tree!

"**Eight Trigrams Palm Heavenly Spin" **Yelled a voice followed by a blast of air.

WHOOSH

CRASH

The tree spilt in two and I barely slumped out of the way to avoid a falling oak branch.

A big man suddenly bounded lightly out of the brush. Open fighting stance. His pearly eyes shining in the light as soon he activated his Byakugan. What? Byakugan?! Good grief and I thought all the Hyuugas were in the Hyuuga compound across the village. Where'd this crazy dude come from?

"Dad?" Hinata asked incredulously, well now that I look at it He did have Hiashi's jawline but Hiashi was not that big and this guy stood at least 6'6 weighing in at 200 pounds of slim muscle. There was also another thing Hiashi didn't have that I noticed.

"_Oh my gosh!" _The big dude rushed over, flung Kakashi into a wall, and suddenly cradled me in his arms crying, "Oh Harpy-sama are you o-"

BASH

"Okay," He squealed, seeing as I ran a fist to his eye sockets.

"Who in _the heck _are you?" I snarled. Yeah, I had enough of the H-word thank you very much.

"My name is Steve Renji Ichi Hyuuga," beamed the man, "But you can call me Steve."

The rest of the crew, the ones that came with me at least, stared at Steve like he was nuts. The other straggler however popped out of nowhere with a wooden sword. She dove after Naruto. Naruto sidestepped and the little girl face planted into an ant den.

"AHHHHHHH! GET THEM OFF ME GET EM OFF!" The auburn haired kid screamed as she rolled in the dirt getting bugs all over her, "THEY'RE EVERYWHERE THEY'RE EVERYWHERE."

She sobbed, Steve paniced and fussed over the girl when Naruto bent down to see if she was alright only to get a colorful blur _swarming _his face.

"Ahhhh!" Naruto let out a silent scream.

"Get away from me you Monster," she suddenly hissed as a colorful swarm of butterflies swirled out of her sleeve.

"That girl's an Aburame!" Hinata gasped.

"An Aburame," Kakashi placated, "All the way out here?" I could see his point, the Uchiha compound isn't really in the middle of nowhere mind you but it's strange for it to be not void of life as well.

"That's Cho Aburame to you," She hissed at Hinata.

"Okay Cho," I asked as I pointed to myself then the group, "Do you know who we are?"

"You're that grumpy lady who threw a coffee cup at that Demon Brat's Head. Good Job!" She cheered, "But I don't know anyone else except for _you!"_ She glowered jabbing a finger at Naruto, "You big ugly-"

WHACK

"Owie," she sobbed. Steve went to punch Naruto but I came first.

"What in THE HECK IS YOUR GUYS' PROBLEMS!" I roared successfully making those two assailants feel so small.

"What you think the Forgotten Ninja don't know about the attack over ten years ago," Steve quailed, "It's all the fault of one Uzumaki Naruto!"

I didn't know what they were talking about but something was wrong and stupid me had to ask, "What attack happened more than ten years ago Naruto?"

"A Nine Tailed Fox attacked our village," Naruto seethed, he gave his stomach a good squeeze, "The fourth hokage killed himself to seal the fox inside a baby and that baby was me!"

"Naruto-kun wait!" Hinata yelled but too late, he was already running farther into the compound. This was so not like Naruto. I'd have expected him to yell his head off or chuck a rock at these jerks at least. Something got Naruto's goat and I wanted to find out what it is.

"Clarity you stay here and I'll go get Naruto," Kakashi sighed.

"No," I spoke a tremble escaping my bitten lip, "No, I'll go get Naruto."

"He doesn't know you well enough and"

"And what," I snorted, "Like I don't know his pain at all?! I may not be a demon container but I know loneliness and the want to run away! I'm not leaving the kid behind Kakashi and so help me those ninja will try to kill you too because you were with him. They only know me for beaning a nine tailed fox on the head. I'll go get Naruto, Kakashi, when those Forgotten Ninja focus on me, run after me and then we'll all be able to get with the guy and I know you're gonna say I don't know the district but I know where he'll run to."

"Don't you dare," Steve growled.

"Oh I dare," I growled back at Steve, "Just watch me."

I knew Naruto was a demon container but I didn't know why. The only thing I knew we had in common was growing up with no friends and no family. I was unwanted worldwide (my fault) but I could only imagine a whole town hating somebody's guts. This was probably on a smaller scale. The glares these people gave me. I was shunned the moment I asked anybody if they saw Naruto run by. People openly spat in my face or looked ready to kill something the minute I shouted Naruto's name. They hissed gossip in harsh whispers. Turned a blind eye to the blond teen that ran away all except for me who was running full force as fast as my legs could take me. Was this the world Naruto grew up in as a kid? Was this why he ran away because he couldn't take much more of this? Man where was the idiotic knuckleheaded ninja we all know and love?

"Naruto!" I yelled, "Yo! Naruto!"

"Leave me alone!" He yelled suddenly dropping from the sky, "I just want to be left alone okay?"

"Naruto this isn't like you." I soothed, "This is more like your . . . Emo . . . Alter ego. Where'd your never say die loud mouthed attitude go?"

"It went to go pout," Naruto moped as he slumped down next to a tree beside a lake front. His usually bright eyes became listless pools like stagnant pond water as he hugged his knees to his chest. A pose I knew too well, I used to do it myself. Well, this was going to be a long wait. The rest of the crew (Kakashi, Hinata, and Sai) were already on the move by now.

I couldn't just leave him there. I had to do something. Well believe it or not I put my arms around his shoulders. I mean what was this kid my little brother? We fought, I threw stuff at him and he got on my nerves almost every time since we first met. Yet now Naruto didn't deny the attention though he probably was wishing it was Sakura that done this instead of the grump who threw a cat at his face. I mean good grief he gallops after Sakura like a donkey trailing a mare in heat! At least he didn't deny the hug but the least he did was rub a hand against my arm and smirk a little. Really that was probably the quietest thanks I got from that nimrod all day.

CRASH

"Ahhh! Get'em off me! Get'em off me!" Cho screamed as she rolled hysterically out of the bushes, this time covered in ladybirds, "Ahhhh! Help! Help!"

I had to laugh. It wasn't everyday you meet a bug phobic Aburame. Poor Cho looked hysterical. Now what was it Shino told me about his bugs? Shino had Kikaiju Cho seemed to swarm with man eating butterflies. Now what was that thing Shino dead panned about? What did he feed his bugs?

"Cho," Naruto called out, "Cho! Give'em your chakra dane it!"

Ah yeah, Kikaiju eat chakra, that's what Shino dead panned about.

"Ahhhh!" Cho screamed.

Suddenly the idea just hit me so I called out, "Yo Naruto, how about transferring some of your chakra into Cho than teach her how to release it."

"Oh yeah," Naruto beamed, "Good idea."

Naruto had me try and nab her (more for giggles since I was blanching when I felt the holes in her skin.) I never thought about what it was like having to pin down a member of the Aburame clan. I felt like I was holding a giant twitching bag of hissing cockroaches; _shivers_. As soon as Naruto placed his hands on Cho; that crawling twitch dissipated. A rush of blue swirling energy with a low high pitched hissing noise swirled around Cho. The ladybirds finally dispersed and a few butterflies flew out her sleeve once she calmed down. Naruto did give Cho a few pointers on how to release Chakra but what she told us next baffled us.

"You never learned how to produce Chakra?" Naruto yelled. Good grief and those Aburame dudes get cootie-fied as soon they're born right? I hated to figure out how Steve learned the Gentle Fist Taijutsu style of the Hyuuga Clan.

Cho, being the blabber mouth we all found her out to be told Steve's dirty little secret in a matter of seconds stating, "Don't worry about Steve though. He taught himself by spying on everyone in the public baths as soon as he activated his byakugan."

Our faces fell when Cho described Steve's perverted version of recon like it was a day at a spa. How can a 6'6 Hyuuga hide in plain sight doing the equal opportunity peeping policy? That's like hiding a cactus among daisies! Great, just how twisted is this duo? Nobody wanted to know.

Well there was one guy that wanted to know something. Daishioryu was sitting in the back of the bushes while Arikara and Yuukihana were working together on a good genjutsu to keep the Forgotten Ninja and the troupe of known leaf nin busy. Arikara, the genjutsu genius extraordinaire, slinked in among the trees through the shadows almost seeming to materialize at Daishioryu's side. Yuukihana appeared in a puff of smoke sensing Daishoryu's chakra flame a little in distress over something.

"Is something the matter Dai-kun?" Yuukihana innocently asked.

"This is taking forever," Daishioryu, deadpanned, "I want some action."

"Like what some making out?"

"No," he quipped, "I want to see her throw something at his face again, I'm bored."

"Well if you want something thrown do it yourself." Arikara mused, **"Ninja Art: Unseen Shadow Hand no Jutsu." **

CRASH

"Hey there he is!" yelled a voice.

The next thing I knew some invisible force bashed me. I went skipping like a rock across the lake. One splash, two splash, three splash and BOOM I gurgled under. What just hit me? It felt like an invisible giant fist. Arikara however let her face break out in a homicidal grin. I guess she was the only one to see an invisible hand. After all, It was her jutsu.

As soon as I came up for air. The Forgotten ninja, in otherwords that huge army that literally appeared out of nowhere just moments before had set up an even more massive lynch mob (led by Steve of all people).

"Your day of reckoning has come Demon!" Steve roared in a way the announcer announcers a boxing match, "In this corner are the good guys, In that corner . . . Ah screw it! DIE DEMON!!!"

"No Nii-san no," Cho wailed in a sudden change of heart, but her cries were bowled over by the roar of a crowd wielding pitchforks and swinging nun chucks. I dove down beneath the water only to resurface a few feet from Cho. She looked at me with fear shaking in her watery huge eyes. I took a breath, stepped out into the cold air and gently took hold of Cho by the shoulders.

"Look at me Cho," I soothed, "_look at me."_

Cho's whole head snapped to Naruto's destination. His fangs unfurled. The whisker marks deepened as a his lips parted into a wide thin line. His cadmium red eyes blazed asunder. The cloak of Chakra bubbling up around his form started to point out into pointy ears with two or three tails out back. He squatted onto all fours as a blast of ki made it into a decent crate. The Chakra becoming denser with each passing second.

"Gaa-ooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!"

Naruto's howl shook the entire compound. I clamped onto the little girl, Cho. I shielded her eyes from the skin that was peeling off Naruto's hands in burning chunks. The dense chakra mingled with the red hot fluids flowing from his veins to form a cloak. It was what Sai had once called a minature kyuubi the first time Naruto's mind had snapped into some four tales state on the Tenchi bridge. I bundled up Cho's sobbing little body in my arms despite the fact it felt like I was a holding a giant beehive set on vibrate. I rushed back from whence I came knowing that if I was going to stop this Hollow Baloney I was going to need some back up and fast.

Meanwhile, back at square one where Naruto first ran away. A few Ninja Pals of mine were getting bored and antsy at the same time. Don't know how those things fit together. Hinata was pensive fidgeting and worrying about something going to happen. She was too apprehensive to be bored. Kakashi started out with his nose in his book giggling like a hormonal fan girl but now slept with his book in his face snoring loudly. I swear it's a wonder he doesn't drown in his own drool. Sai went off to take pictures of an interesting looking rock since he took multiple photos of everything else. Note to self: if you're going to take pictures of a rock at high noon than you must be _really _bored.

"Gaa-ooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!" howled the beast.

"W-w-w . . . What was that?" Hinata gulped.

"Snaaarrrrrk . . . Ack ick *snort* hmmm?" Kakashi sat up and mused, "Did the Harpy strike again? Kind of hope not though."

"It's coming from over- hmmm? It's Claire-sensei," Sai beamed an honest grin graced his face, "Claire-sen OOF!"

I shoved Cho into Sai's hands. He looked at Cho then at me with trepidation. Scared at the prospect of my face as I said one batch of words. Everyone bolted after me.

"NARUTO'S IN TROUBLE WE NEED TO GO NOW!"

The battlefield we returned to that was once such a pristine lakefront was now a bloody desolate mess of oblivion. I shouted Naruto's name only to have this wide eyed grinning fiend turn to my shout. He lashed a tail at me but no such luck. I hid behind the first thing I could find which so happened to be a corpse. I graced the ground with my ramen as soon as I found time to hurl. Yuck, charred flesh and I thought the smell of turpentine and picante™ smelled awful.

Sai leapt into focus and put a shocked little Cho back in my arms. Kakashi slowed with a start as I noticed another head standing taller than the rest. I looked past Sai who had on a dismal amount of perplexity. I scanned Hinata whose pretty pearl orbs widened in horror as she put a hooked finger to her lips at the sight of the fiend which just so happened to be Naruto purring like a kaiju kitty in a room full of toys. The only one who really caught my attention stood at least a head taller than Kakashi with a wild main of long white hair in a ponytail, two red lines from the corner of his narrow eyes to his jaw line and some age spot on his nose. Guy looked in shape for someone about 50 something and yet something was off. He posed fantastically in this red and white Asian getup with a forehead protector that sported the kanji for "oil" in black ink.

The light cleared with the luster of evening as he shouted to the world, "_Have no fear Jiraiya's in the hoooouse. _YOW!"

KA-THUNK

"This is a battlefield not a stage you old fart." I growled, tossing around another skull around in my good throwing hand. Other hand was on my hips and I was already back to my sweet old self.

Kakashi threw a look at Jiraiya who nodded some sort of silent agreement. He cradled Cho and threw me over his shoulder. Hey! He didn't have to grope there! Gross what did he think I was fresh meat?

"Sayonara Harpy-chan," Kakashi beamed giving me an eye smile and a good bye salute as he disappeared in a plume of smoke. Ergh I just wanted to kill him!

"Let go you Pervy Fart!" I snapped, kicking and struggling, man I looked pathetic, "Let me go."

"hmmm," Jiraiya pretended to pause for thought as he ran, "Nope, your safety is Toad airline's 1 authority."

"Toad airlines?" I stammered and before I knew it he sent me flying.

AHHHHHHHH

PLORP

"Oh nice throw Jira-chan," gushed some slimy green fat thing with lipstick, blush, and way too much mascara, "You're just so strong Jira-chan."

"No problem Mr. Gamariki,"

That . . . Toad, Mr. Gamariki just fluffed the bow on his back. Jiraiya took my art bag and coffee! Darn it no one messes with that stuff but me! Yet why did he take it. I didn't have to ask.

"Whelp bottoms up Mr. Gamariki and haul her away." Jiraiya spanked me as he slid me forward. Oh he's in the dog house now that lecher but not before Mr. Gamariki opened wide.

"Ahh-ommm!" Mr. Gamariki gushed again as he swallowed me whole, Gross. I sure didn't like this situation already. Naruto was in trouble and I stuck inside some toad getting sea sick. Mr. Gamariki lopped away a hop at a time despite my protests of struggle within that slime ball's gut. I had to get out of here but how?

Then I remembered the little Ziploc™ baggie of Curry powder in my cargo pants pocket. Now _there_ was a good idea. I fished around for it. Is Mr. Gamariki's tongue right around here? I unzipped the zipper and hurled the contents forward.

EEEEEEEEK!

Mr. Gamariki was squealing like a popped piggy. He spat me out and frantically kept trying to wipe curry powder off his tongue.

"All right I have a bone to pick with Cyclops and the Pervy Fart later. Where's Naruto?" I asked with a crack of my knuckles. Oh yes a 300+ pound girly toad versus a little slip of disgruntled artist. Who was going to be the victor. Well the victor just happened to be a ninja. The one ninja you'd never expect to turn against a "comrade."

"**Sixteen Trigram Thirty two Palm!" **Hinata yelled as a flurry of gentle thrusts suddenly caught the toad flopping to his side.

"Hinata all right," I cheered, "Way to sock'em!"

"Don't cheer yet Claire-chan," Hinata quipped Byakugan blazing, "I need your opinion."

She led me to a bush behind the battlefield where the Rogue three once stood. Now this is the part where I finally see this mysterious group of Ninja with my raw sienna eyes for the first time. A green haired dude seemed to pull a strip of iron from the earth and charge into an electrifying Broad Sword. Another timid looking girl suddenly sprung into action with a chakra powered kick deflecting Naruto's elongated flying arms as another torso rose up to slash her stomach wide open. That girl (Yuukihana) back flipped, a narrow miss, and leapt out of the way for a purple haired girl (Arikara) whose seafoam green eyes took on a shade of venom with green around the edges. Green whisker marks curled her cheeks as a long veil of shadows rose from the earth to dramatically embrace her. It was kind of cool.

Slow process at first but in a flash of darkness she vanished. The next instant she put a clawed shadowed hand through Naruto's gut. He snarled something inhuman as his assailant's purple cat ears (when did she get those) pinned flat against her head. A homicidal grin flexed across her face as she turned her claws and gave twist.

SQUELCH

Those claws were inching their way in a little bit at a time. Though why is it that these rogue three were fighting by Jiraiya's side? Where was Cho? Obviously, she was comforting a fat sobbing slime ball, Mr. Gamriki. Sai was flying through the air on one of his hand painted hawks. Not bad for a speed paint in Ninja Ink. It couldn't be Jiraiya was the one that went to do something down and dirty like hire the Rogue Three right?

I had a more pressing issue to get to.

"Naruto-kun OOF!" Hinata almost screamed.

I put a hand over her mouth hissing, "What do you wanna do? Get yourself killed?" Just then my cell phone rang causing Naruto to suddenly heave head sized rocks at my face.

ANIMAL I'VE BECOME

CRASH CRASH CRASH

KA THUD

PLONK

"Just a sec," I interrupted as I went to answer, "Shikamaru hi!" Shikamaru was busy cussing me out saying troublesome this and troublesome that. "Uh-huh uh-huh Murray helped huh. Good meet me at the Uchiha compound ASAP we need medic nins and plenty of psychologists on the double. Don't you nyah me! You can nap later. Go now! Uh-huh bye-bye."

"Naruto-kun would never do that," she snapped, "This isn't like him but I know he'd never be violent."

"Well eh-heh," I chortled nervously, putting away my cheap cell phone, seeing the proof of a bloody battlefield being a little disheartening, love is blind right? "You know as I know that Naruto is full of surprises but right now he needs rescued and even though he's already got the proven power of the World's 1 most sadistic Fuzz-fart in his gut. There's something I need you to do with me so that we can even the odds and give everyone at least a fighting chance of survival."

Cho meanwhile gingerly patted Mr. Gamariki's back. The twitch of every bug in her body thrilled at the feast of battle. The little Aburame girl looked around nervously until an angel appeared in her vision within the setting sun A.K.A. the dirt encrusted me. Sure I'm no angel, I had the sun in my eyes, I stunk like Toad breath and was the last person Mr. Gamariki wanted to see. That did not stop the hope filled Cho.

"Claire-neechan," Cho squealed happily as a vibrating body suddenly grabbed me. Boy she was humming with energy like a hot rod. turned his over spruced up face at me in a huff.

"A thousand apologies gorgeous," I forced a smile, "I'm sorry for the curry powder but I think I have an idea on how to find a certain . . . Painting?"

"Oh no-no-no-no!" Mr. Gamariki shook his head so much it was like watching jelly thrash itself, "You can't have the painting. The world would be doomed if you ever found it."

"I thought the world would be doomed if I didn't repair it?" I murmured, a fight was one thing but buttering up weirdo's is such an easier matter.

"I tell you what, you tell me what I want to know and I promise to be as good a girl as possible," I gushed, "In the meantime I'm doing a photo for your favorite magazine and I need a gorgeous model to stand over here. Be a dear would you please."

"Oh Goody!" Mr. Gamariki cooed, "How's this?" He pulled off some disgustingly sexy pose. Steve was busy making a fuss and was already going maternal . . . Perfect.

I stood into a sort of angry bear stance I'd seen on a Godzilla movie last Christmas and asked, "Can you pose like this." Mr. Gamariki obliged. "Thanks, STEVE HELP!"

"**Eight Trigrams Palm Heavenly Spin" **Yelled a voice followed by a blast of air.

WHOOSH

CRASH

Mr. Gamariki got sent flying, crashed into Daishioryu who was blindingly fighting Naruto, I.e. trying to stab a broad sword through his face. Yet Yuukihana made an impressive punch that launched Daishioryu and Mr. Gamariki right back at Steve. Steve got hurled into a tree.

"Um . . . Sorry Dai-kun," Yuukihana promptly apologized while Daishioryu's eyes were swirling. Birds flew around his head as he stood up groaning. Okay two down a few more to go.

Hinata was already on the offensive with that Pervy Old Fart.

"Hey Jiraiya," Hinata called.

"What?" Jiraiya asked.

"Look at this?" she requested and took out a picture I sketched on the back of Tsunade's last piece of scrap paper. I was bored during dinner last night and wondered what Tsunade looked like naked. My hand was drawing on its own I swear! When I found out it was on Danzo's last paycheck I suddenly pocketed the thing. Jiraiya's eyes bulged.

SPYUUUUUUUUU

Jiraiya rocketed via a nosebleed into Kakashi then knocked Sai off his bird with crash. A pile of ninjas drenched in ink fell to the ground. Naruto's "ears" perked as did Arikara's when she saw the bodies hit the dirt. The shadow's encroaching her body immediately dispersed.

BASH

Naruto's hand suddenly elongated sent Arikara sloshing the lake.

"Darn it!" She screamed before whispering, "That does it."

Naruto's glowy eyes seemed to crinkle into a sadistic foxy grin.

A shadow launched itself, invisible to all, especially me. I stupidly grabbed Naruto into my arms before he could launch a tail Arikara's way. Another Torso grew out of his outstretched arm. Claws dug into my back ripping it open. A thin layer of skin started to corrode itself away as I latched onto Naruto even tighter. Why in the heck was I doing this? I just wanted to do something.

Daishioryu, unfortunately, gained his senses.

"**Lightning Style; Earthern Spike!" **Daishioryu punched the ground. A thin stalagmite erupted forth. It pierced the hole in Naruto's chest and me as well electrocuting everything in the process. That shadow Aprikara sent split threw my head, his head, and the world went dark. Was this it? Was I artist number twenty six? Did all the ninjas who obliged to help me finally die in the crossfire? Who won? Was it a stalemate? I don't know. I just didn't know.

* * *

**Chapter 7: Troublesome Woman: The Power of a Promise**

Well, we finally find out why all the other ninjas in the village weren't there to help out. Murray delivered an encoded letter that stumps one of the smartest people in Konoha. Murray breaks in and makes himself at home in the Nara household. Meanwhile, Clarity is somehow swimming around in Naruto's brain and butts heads with none other than the nine tailed fox Kyuubi. Will Naruto be back to normal after this? Stay tuned to find out.


	8. Ch7: Troublesome Woman: The Promise

**Clarity in Konoha**

**Chapter 7: Troublesome Woman: The Power of a Promise**

I do remember that call that Shikamaru had with me earlier. You see while I was busy getting a beating. Shikamaru got Murray's letter. From what I've heard from Asuma is the guy's a legendary genius. The first in his class to ever make chunin. A lazy napper with an intellect that'd put even professors with nanny boo-boo degrees to shame. In other words he's a smart intellectual creatively intelligent thinker. Yes, he's a mental genius but, even geniuses have buttons to press, weaknesses to exploit, and sometimes it's the simple things that get a guy. The conditions had to be just right so I got my business partner Murray Monody to loudly break into his home.

KRSH

The whole Nara clan are not morning people so heavy sleepers often equals dull security. Murray went to do just what he normally does at four o'clock in the morning. He went to fix himself a sandwhich, and watch Sailor Moon™. He always turns the T.V. up whenever he's watching it. You could hear T.V. noises all the way up to the academy and nary a Nara got up that morning. It was then Murray remembered what he had to do. He was told to pick up Shikamaru.

Shikamaru must've looked like such an angel twisted up in his bed. It would've been a shame to come crashing through with a bucket of ice. Noisily fill said ice bucket in the bathtub. Murray was singing the theme song to Sweeney Todd off key at the top of his lungs. Shikamaru was singing along in his sleep not that he's ever seen that musical in his life. After Murray took out his cell phone to video tape Shikamaru's impressive solo, he stood back with a bucket of ice water at the ready.

"Wakey Wakey Sunshine," Murray cooed, "Good Morning Call on the rocks! Coming right up!"

KER-PLASH

"OH MY KAMI! ugh!" Shikamaru groaned right after he burst out of bed, "What a drag. Troublesome Murray. Wait Murray?! What're you doing here?"

"I got a letter to give to you from Clarity but she told me not to help you with it," Murray beamed, "This is the next step in our ninja game right?"

If looks could kill the daggers Shikamaru was shooting at Murray would've pierced his heart by now. Murray was jumping up and down in Childlike joy. Shikamaru tried to feel around half-heartedly for my letter but his hands caught nothing but air. He had to grab Murray by his I heart Jutsu T-shirt sleeve to get him from bouncing around. Shikamaru grabbed the letter, opened it, and man I wish I was there to see the color drain from that poor boy's face.

"What the . . . What? Is this some kind of joke?" Shikamaru seethed, cranky from being woken up at five o'clock in the morning to be handed some spidery little note scribbled on in crayon and on black construction paper to boot.

"I drew it myself," Murray crowed, "Ain't it Purdy?"

"Purdy my foot it's a troublesome headache," Shikamaru wailed, rubbing his temples, Murray and I doodled all over the note in as many colors as possible. Shikamaru, being one to _not _like the idea of working at Five A.M. called Chouji to slough this Ninja game off on him. Chouji didn't have the heart to tell Murray his note was illegible and called Ino. Ino couldn't solve the puzzle and went to call every other ninja she could think of and was surprised that Naruto, Sai, Hinata, and even Kakashi were missing.

Murray sat in a corner and grinned making everyone suddenly want to throttle him. The only tools I provided were simple. A black light next to the letter that laid next to a mirror on the table. Tsunade couldn't believe that a bunch of trained professionals could get stumped by a doodle but here was the crowd wondering what the trouble was. Even Iruka Umino, Naruto's old teacher was at a loss for words. He spent years trying to interpret badly written essays done by little kids but this had him at a loss for words.

Neji snorted, "How can a civilian stump the department that's supposed to be an expert at this stuff?"

Tenten replied, "She may not be a genius when it comes to combat but she does seem full of surprises. Hey Murray, can you tell us what the letter says."

"Nuh-uh," Murray quipped, "That'd be cheating."

Shikamaru had his fingers forming an obtuse 'O' as he went to thinking really hard. I mean couldn't the guy figure it out any faster? Heck no, I decided to go for simple which took him all day to figure it out. Heck even Anko was starting to hum that Jeopardy song while a bunch of others started shouting suggestions. Tonton padded over to the black light and turned it on. Suddenly the crowd stared in awe as the words glowed in white making Shikamaru slap himself silly.

"Of course," Shikamaru realized, "Why didn't I think of it before."

"'Cause you were already thinking," Murray beamed.

KA-THUNK

Tsunade threw her shoe at Murray's head. He reeled, fell off his stool, and grabbed Tsunade's shoe to chuck it out the door. Tsunade got up in a huff to retrieve her shoe. Shikamaru was squinting at the letter as he shown the black light over it. Akamaru sniffed it and gave a whine. Kiba ruffled his fur and tried to ponder what Akamaru was saying.

"Hey Shika," Kiba asked, "Akamaru was suggesting you hold the letter up to the mirror." Ha-ha and it took them all day to figure that out?

Shikamaru shined the letter to the mirror and the words suddenly made . . . No sense at all.

* * *

Dear Ikamarusha

Allca yma ellca onepha. Skaa Urrayma orfa yma number.

-oodlesta-

Larityca

* * *

"What the hell?" Shikamaru whined, "Not another code."

"It's not a code," Murray quipped, "It's simple."

"Then you tell me," Shikamaru deadpanned, "This is becoming such a drag."

"Oh c'mon Shikamaru, you almost won the game," Murray cheered, "What do you think it is."

"What do I . . . What do I think it is?" Shikamaru looked ready to throttle Murray again, "I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I THINK IT IS!"

"It's Pig Latin," piped up a twelve year old kid with small round eyes and a cocky grin, if I remember right that was Konohamaru, Naruto's number 1 sexy jutsu rival/fan, "Hey Murray call Clarity's cell phone number. Shikamaru's probably got an earful to yell at Clarity."

That was nearly twenty four hours ago I'd imagine and as soon as I regained my senses, the only sound I could hear was the kind of noises found in an antique boiler room. I crawled unsteadily to my feet, knee deep in water. The smell was _awful _if I hadn't of unloaded my stomach I'd have done so right there; wet dog and three day old dog breath yuck! Okay the last thing I remember was getting shish-ka-bobbed through the head and chest during while defending . . . Naruto! Where in the heck is he?

I slogged down the pipe works only to stop some little blonde kid in a bright orange jump suit. I pulled him around by his tiny shoulder

"Hey kid have you seen," I started but was taken aback by a pair of familiar cerulean eyes, "Naruto?"

"Go away," he screamed, "Leave me alone!"

He started running on the water quick as a flash. Great now that I noticed, this must be Naruto's mindscape. Well no need to hurry. I sloshed through the knee deep water till it started rising to my chest. Not to be one to look a gift horse in the mouth. I swam to the end. There was a pair of golden gates with a little paper sutra for a lock.

I tread water for a moment as I looked into the gate.

"Hello?" I called, "Has anyone seen Na . . . Ru . . . To?" I squeaked as a sudden wave of killing Intent stopped me in my tracks. The bars before me stood wide enough to let the little kid Naruto in but as for me . . . Well . . . I could barely stick a hand through.

I swam up to the bars and yelled, "YO KYUUBI! WHERE'S THE BRAT?"

Kyuubi eyed me with a huge cadmium red cat slit eye. He turned his colossal head. His grin filled the gateway with glistening large teeth. He laughed at my puny mortal presence.

"**Well well well," **Kyuubi scoffed, **"What do we have here? A little Harpy Lady."**

"HEY MY NAME'S CLARITY CRATCHET FUZZ-FART," I roared shaking my fist, treading water, "CALL ME THAT AGAIN AND I'LL . . ."

"**You'll what?"** Kyuubi gushed, **"You have no power here. I have . . . Naruto."**

He jangled the little kid Naruto like a set of house keys. He tossed Naruto around in his gigantic claws spinning him betwixt his fingers. Ergh, man I wanted to chuck something at him! I grabbed a pipe and gave it a tug.

"Ahhhhh," Naruto screamed.

Kyuubi face faulted, he sighed, **"That's Naruto's chakra network you moron! Kill him and you kill me!"**

Naruto was out like a light! Man this was going nowhere fast! There was no way to reach boy but what about the next best thing? What about his prisoner?

"Oy Stupid Fox Stupid Fox," I yelled, "Could you please let me in?"

Kyuubi snorted, **"Not by the hairs of my chinny chin chin."**

Well that was stupid. Man I had to find another button to press. What made the fox so mad. What would make a sadistic Fuzz-fart tick? I mean the guy is like what 900 years old? He's been stuck in a human's gullet for over 15-16 years at least. What's his weakness? Oh yeah, it was the kid.

I took the same pipe again and gave it a little shake. Naruto screamed and Kyuubi started to panic. I didn't break the pipes. I wanted Naruto. I wanted him alive, conscious, and breathing. I can't lie, I can't cheat, but I will do just about anything I set my mind to. My mind was set on Naruto.

"AHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh!" Naruto screamed one final painful scream as he thrashed out of Kyuubi's clutches. I caught him by the jacket collar just in time before he drown. I tried to pull him through the bars but he got stuck. I needed a push from the other side. I remembered seeing Naruto transforming when that dense chakra formed such a crater. So how do I activate Kyuubi's chakra. Suddenly I knew just the right button to push.

"Hey Fuzz-fart," I called to the old fox with a maniacal grin, "I win."

"**GRRRAAAAAAWWWWRRR!**" Kyuubi roared, "**I won't stand for such insolence you cheater!**"

POP

Kyuubi's roar was just the push I needed. Naruto slid out into my arms. I held that little boy tight. Naruto opened one lone wandering eye. He must've been afraid I'd beat him. He stiffened at the contact but as soon I pulled him into a warm hug his whole body suddenly slackened like some great weight fell off his chest. I was treading water for what felt like forever already. I needed to find a way to pull the plug so to speak. It's no use having two people mentally drown.

"Neesan," I heard a mewling whine and turned to Naruto in my arms.

"Yeah kid?"

"You owe me free Ramen!" He suddenly yelled though his voice was hoarse I heard him loud enough, "You sent me through heck and back so you owe me ramen!"

"Okay, okay," I snapped glad to know he was back to normal, "I promised you some free ramen every time you went with me. It was a contract deal; a written proposition remember?"

"A prop of what now?" Naruto asked face scrunched up in confusion, Dejavue anyone?

"A proposition means a promise," I chuckled and held out a pinky, "I promise to get you some free ramen out of my pocket book when you come work with me but I can only afford so much. Deal?"

Naruto took that pinky promise with a wide foxy grin stating, "A deal's a deal." Oh man, how am I going to afford to feed a blabber mouthed bottomless pit? I hope he didn't remember a promise I made while inside his brain. Oh scratch that, this was Naruto we're talking about. He'd hold a flea to a jumping contest and dance around in his underpants if it meant free noodles. As soon as I heard the water drain down I felt my shoulder being shook to consciousness.

"Hey hey Harpy-chan!" murmured an old gravelly voice. It was Jiraiya the Pervy Fart. "Oooooowwww!" he howled. I was glad to give him a kick in the jewels. He deserved it that groper!

The Naruto I was holding right now looked like a crispy critter. 2nd degree burns laced his face when I looked at him. Poor guy, at least he was out of Kyuubi's clutches. I rolled slowly but surely into a sitting position. Man chakra burns bite. I know I didn't look so well either. Well at least Jiraiya brought my art bag. I had some first aid stuff for such an occasion. I used the thing as a pillow as I checked for a pulse, checked for damage, and luckily all I needed to do was gauze up the hole in him. I know someone would be able to take care of the burns at least.

"CLARITY YOU IDIOT!" Sakura screamed and rammed a left hook to my ribs; ouchie. "DO YOU EVER NOT GET YOURSELF OUT OF HARM'S WAY."

"I'd welcome it with open arms whenever I can," I teased.

"Where were the ANBU?" she snapped.

"Oh them?" I innocently asked I almost forgot about the ANBU, "Oh I just stuck a fake paper bomb on a baby squirrel's back, I haven't seen them since."

Correction, I did see them getting mauled by the wild life when they tried to bribe the poor bugger with granola bars.

"YOU BAKA!" Sakura roared only to be stopped mid-stride. I turned to face her on purpose. One thing I know about doctors. They can't help but feel sorry for the wounded. I was still bleeding all over the place and neglected to bandage myself.

"CLARITY YOU'RE BLEEDING!" She gasped.

"Tend Naruto first I can take care of my gaaaaah!" I hissed; Ino pushed her perfectly manicured nails in my back as she looked me over.

"You really need to quit getting into trouble," Ino rambled, "It took us all day to figure out you were ducking everybody in the entire village and let me tell you that was the worse good morning call I ever heard of."

I let Ino blather on and on as I walked past Sakura over to where Cho and Mr. Gamariki were seated. A man with scarred chin, Danzo I take it, was about to get his clutches on the girl by talking about sweet deals and crooning sweet nothings in her ear. Sai just stood there. I knew firsthand the whole subordinate-awaits-orders shtick was drilled into him. Unlike me, who limped at an altogether different maniacal pace.

"I'm sorry Danzo my man but Cho here is a member of the Aburame clan and thus is not yours to control." I announced placing my hands on Cho's capable little shoulders.

"I have plenty of Aburame soldiers under my command." Danzo stated, he leaned in on his cane to bear over me sending a trickle of killing intent my way. Too bad he never felt Kyuubi's wrath, all of a sudden this felt like nothing compared to the old Fuzz-fart.

"_I hate you, you hate me let's get in trouble. Make Danzo squee!_" My insane inner voice chattered. I waved it off, I couldn't push Danzo's buttons but I could tug on someone's heart strings.

"Hey Cho, do you know whose fault this is?" I asked showing her my clawed up back. Cho looked ready to cry. "It's Danzo's fault for keeping tabs on me every time I screwed up so that I wouldn't be helped by anyone else."

"You bad man!" Cho screamed and sent a wall of butterflies hurtling into Danzo's face. He tried to claw them off but the blanket covering his arm slipped. I grabbed the thing and sashayed away behind Steve, taking Cho with me. That arm of his looked awful bound up in chains and locks. It was a mad experiment gone wrong for everyone to see.

Danzo slid forward and stood before me the next instant. I handed him the blanket he shoved over his disgusting arm.

"I swear before this is over," he hissed, "You will fear the name of ROOT."

"Oh I do fear it," I whispered back, "Which is why I'll not only live, I'll _thrive_ knowing every time my cute apprentice reports to you and already finding out every little quirk in his system. Don't underestimate an artist Danzo, I knew about your game the moment Sai was gone and it's an ongoing process. No?"

Danzo, blanching, allowed one of his little ROOT pets to escort him away. Sai was about to follow suit when he paused. Sweat building on his brow. Should he follow Danzo, the man he's pledged emotionless loyalty to all these years? Should he follow his new sensei, namely me? His eyes glittered with questions.

"Clarity-chan," Hinata gasped as I fell, yes I'm no stranger to pain but blood loss was a bit miscalculated. Gee, for Sai, this was suddenly a no brainer. A pair of familiar hands caught me just as I was about to fall.

"Murray?" I suddenly asked, No it was probably Sai but Sai was on my left. Murray was leading Sakura to where I was. So who just caught me? Of course, Naruto was grinning into my face.

"I don't know why but I just have this . . . feeling" Naruto pondered.

Sai drew a blank stare. Hinata finally fainted, boy someone ought to get her smelling salts for Christmas. Murray looked dumbly over to Kakashi who peeped over his book. Asuma gnawed on his cig a little. Kurenai regarded me with mild inquiry.

"Let me guess?" I intoned, "Free Ramen correct?"

Naruto's face just lit up like a light bulb. It was a good thing he didn't remember anything else. Especially; the part where I bodily hurt him via shaking a pipe. He'd never let me live it down. The fact he could remember the promise I made when I was swimming in his psyche was a wonder in and of itself.

Jiraiya recovered from my kick to his crotch and winced to where I was sort of standing. Sakura was doing a number closing what wounds I had left.

"Oh come on it's no big deal," Jiraiya beamed, "Clarity's delusional! I think that blood loss sapped the oxygen to her brain."

I shoved my two working fingers up Jiraiya's nostrils and pulled him down by the nose to my eye level stating, "_You_ owe _me_ some information you Pervy Old Fart and if _you_ ever call _me_ delusional again, it'll only take my bare hands to turn you from a horny old man to a neutered old goat."

"Yup Jiraiya's finally been threatened it only took ten minutes, I win the bet." Murray cheered, "Pay the man!"

Kakashi and a few of the remaining ANBU black ops sighed as they handed Murray his now won money.

* * *

**Chapter 8: The Ninja Pals 6?**

Clarity gets assailed by both an angry Yuukihana, and a still vexed Sakura. What will Tsunade do when she catches hinata with Clarity's sketch of the hokage naked? What's Jiraiya's part in all this? Where's the painting? How will the hyuugas and aburames deal with the "new" members of their clans? Stay tuned to find out.


	9. Chapter 8: The Ninja Pals 6!

**Author's Note: **I don't own Naruto. The Rogue Three belong to Devonna. The only characters I do own are Clarity, Murray, and a strange group called the Forgotten Ninja. But the one thing that makes this fun is the rest of the Konoha cast get revenge on the little Disgruntled Artist.

* * *

**Clarity in Konoha**

**Chapter 8: The Ninja Pals 6?**

Whelp here I am back at square one . . . Again. Tsunade insisted that I stay at the hospital on account that chakra now running rampant through my system seemed to have two different kinds of demon, Kyuubi, of course, and whatever Arikara's was at the time. I think it was some sort of nekomata but whatever. Did they have to keep ANBU patrols on the same floor as my room. I mean, c'mon, how much trouble can someone like me cause any who?

I only went to the hospital on one condition. They let me wear my fuzzy pink pajamas and cute little froggy slippers. I refuse to be caught dead in one of those disgusting hospital gowns that show off all the drafty parts! Especially; with Jiraiya always sneaking in through the window. It's sad to think that a horny old man could duck a bunch of ANBU but that was personally my fault. I'd get up at three in the morning and pepper them with questions. Sometimes they'd answer, other times they'd never move, and the nurses nearly wet themselves when they saw me bouncing up and down trying to get them to _do something._

Jiraiya chuckled when he saw me trying to offer one of them a cup of coffee. The dude said nothing just stood there but something was oddly familiar about him, brown hair, a transmitter, and under the mask I could see a covering over the chin. I think Kakashi called him Tenzou though everyone else knew him as Yamato. The way he greeted Kakashi as "Kaka-senpai" when he walked through the door clenched it. Didn't Yamato have a wood jutsu that I'd heard was once used to quail an old Fuzz-fart the last time he went into a nine tails state. Okay so his wood jutsu is themed around trees. Something smelt fishy so I had to push some buttons first.

"Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom," I lied.

"Aren't you going to eat first?" Yamato blabbed, well I couldn't say I was on to him. I spooned through the potato soup that was in the bowl. A seed? Well around here looks can be deceiving and from what I heard from Sai this was a tracking device of sorts. I could throw the thing out the window but he'd probably find something else to rig me with. I pocketed the seed for later. I set the soup down and found my old baroque book. You know the one with pictures of gross stuff where casual sex was as regular as not taking a bath for weeks at a time.

"Hey buddy check this out!" I beamed, opening to some random page to show a suddenly disappearing Yamato a picture. One down, two to go, Kakashi just gave me my I-pod back as soon as I got back. It didn't mean there was more than one way to get rid of a ninja.

"Excuse me Kakashi," I purred in a sheepish grin, "Remember that charger I never told you about? It's in my to go bag. Could you-"

Kakashi jumped out the window. Yes I still had Icha Icha Make Out Tactics still on my I-pod.

Jiraiya was already slurping my soup before he said, "May I?"

"Sure," I stated, "Knock yourself out."

Well now that the food was gone (Sakura didn't cook it Jiraiya would've gagged by now), I set back twiddling my thumbs and asked the Pervy Old Fart, "What is it you're here for _this_ time."

"Research," announced Jiraiya around a mouthful of Potatoes.

"Yeah you said that last time and was peeping up skirts the next." I sighed plopping down on the bed wincing from the chakra burns, "You've been popping in and out long enough that even the ANBU consider you as nothing but part of the scenery. Just say what your going to say to me Jiraiya and remember _you_ owe _me_ information so make it worth my time."

"Tsunade-hime's right you rarely mince words," Jiraiya remarked with a swallow, "The reason why I came here is to tell you to quit going after the painting."

"I'm an artist not a little girl Jiraiya," I reminded him, "Tsunade's hired me because I can survive and I have but I don't like being kept in the dark. Why were you attacking Naruto?"

"To protect him from himself!" Jiraiya quipped punching a wall leaving a small dent, fist shaking, "He's out of control when he's in the four tail state and if he killed someone close to him he'd never forgive himself. The Rogue Three are the only ones that can go near that painting. Everyone else died."

"Did you ever figure out that the Rogue three were killing painters?" I asked.

Jiraiya was silent for a moment, "No, I didn't know. I just told them get the job done by any means necessary and the slightest flare of Chakra can affect anyone's mind and it's always for the worse never the better. Still, how did you get Naruto out of the Four tails state. You're not a ninja are you?"

"Of course I'm not," I quipped back leaning toward Jiraiya a little, "I'm a person who leaves no chance untaken and no regrets." I told him of the time I was swimming in Naruto's mind and my argument with that foxy old Fuzz-fart. What got me curious was why was Jiraiya almost crying. Great making an old man cry, just another thing to put on your already blemished reputation. Before I knew it, he puckered up and almost kissed me! That pervert!

I rolled out of bed and stepped on the button.

WHOMP

The bed folded up into a Jiraiya sized taco with that horny old goat squished between two slices of one mattress. He looked like an ugly old fish. I jammed my foot on the button again. Jiraiya almost squealed bloody murder. Yet he lacked the lung capacity to suck in air at the moment.

"Clarity," he wheezed, "A little help!"

"You know it serves you so right I aught to just leave you there," I cooed yet seeing Jiraiya go from purple to blue to green made me guilty, "while I go and get dressed."

I just stuck on a pair of sandals I had handy. Jiraiya gave a sigh of relief once he was finally able to breath. We made our way to the hallway and I could see Yamato looking nervous by the door. Perfect, I just found escort number two. As soon as we walked by I was already leading a poor cussing ANBU by his ear.

"Okay Buddy let's go," I crowed

"I don't want to eat Ramen." He whined.

"You don't have to," I barked, "Just stand guard like you normally do."

I met Naruto over at Ichiraku's as soon as I had my wallet handy. Not that it's usually empty. I saved up a bundle. I just didn't know I was going to lose it all to a blabber mouthed bottomless pit. I did promise Naruto as much as I can afford.

He waved me over to a seat and was on his what third bowl already? Teuchi smiled and looked my way. His eyes narrowing down at my bedtime get up with the sandals. Jiraiya was chortling his head off. Yamato suddenly wanted to dissappear and hide.

Me, I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "Meh, everything else is in the wash."

I took one side over on the other side of Naruto and ordered a small bowl of diet ramen with beef. Jiraiya ordered on his own tab. Jeez if the guy is able to afford something that expensive than I wonder how many zeros are in his check book! Yamato stood guard across the street. Naruto just crowed for three more bowls when I told him how much I _can_ afford.

"I don't mind you coming here Clarity." Teuchi beamed, "Actually having a spitball like you here has been pretty good for business."

"How so?" I asked slurping on a couple noodles. I barely put my chopsticks down before the eruption hit.

SPLOOSH

Some invisible force slammed my face into my noodles. I could only guess it was Arikara and her unseen shadow hands again. She was sitting at the far end of the Ramen stand glaring daggers at me and waggling her finger. Her two pals suddenly popped up on either side of me, cracking knuckles.

"Hey Harpy," Daishioryu glared, lightning enveloping his knuckles, "remember-

WHAM

"Can it Dai-Dai-chan," I yelled, thrusting my fist into his midsection, "What gives you and your buddies the reason to come torture me?"

"Six broken ribs, hairline fracture, and a dislocated femur," He snapped lips wrapping around the femur as he rubbed where I hit him, "After you somehow launched Gamariki-san into my face."

Naruto and I shuddered at the word of . That pudgy slime ball had it coming and let me tell you spending a few minutes with that drag queen of a toad is like scrubbing your own sensitive areas with sand paper. The next thing I knew was myself becoming the victim of a three way noogie by the time Sakura and her gang of medic nins found me.

CRUNCH

ZOT

"Gaaaah!" I mewled

Ino discovered me first thing and was ready to give me a piece of her bossy mind.

"Clarity I already told you not to dissappear again," Ino quipped "Hokage's orders, and why didn't you eat your soup? It's supposed to be good for you."

I was already slurping the last few morsels of my bowl when Naruto whined, "But Sakura-chan Clarity promised me free Ramen."

Sakura went from fuming to disheartened in a heart beat. Way to go Naruto! I've been saved by the knucklehead.

"Oh," she toned, "You should've told us Clarity."

"You're right I should have," I replied with a slow deliberate answer. The other reason I went out for Ramen is because you can never try the hospital's cooking. When it's just Ino, it's edible (though kind of bland for my tastes). When it's Sakura, she tries to make it healthy and it ends up being poisonous! Stick the two together and they fight so much everything gets burnt to a crisp. So I can only sum it up like this, Good Doctors, yet Yucky Cooks enough said.

Though speaking of making things, I almost forgot that favor I was going to ask of Daishioryu. I paid for my food bill and dragged Daishioryu out by his neon green pony tail. As soon as we were around the corner I pulled a little box out of my pocket. Inside the box was a rock! Daishioryu looked at me like I was weird.

"What do you want me to do?" Daishioryu asked, "Turn lead into gold."

"Oh quit acting so nuts Dai-Dai," I grinned, "this is just some ore found only in the land of Wind. I want you to shape something out of it."

Daishioryu just did a few hand signs and turned the tiny rock into a little crescent moon shaped bead, "Sure I'll only do this on one condition," he fumed, "QUIT CALLING ME DAI-DAI!"

I snatched the bead and strung it on some leather before laughing, "Yeah but you already did that before you told me your end of the deal so no chance . . . _Dai-Dai_."

"*snick* Dai-Dai," Arikara snickered.

"That's not funny!" Daishioryu blushed still fuming, "It's like she's sucking out my coolness."

"It's not that bad," Yuukihana beamed, "at least you're not being called Frostbite." Yes Sai, was the one who suddenly chose nicknames when the two went to visit Daishioryu in the hospital. Him being one to never get nicknames right suddenly yelled "Hey Dai-Dai!" one morning and got thoroughly strangled. Yuukihana rescued him and when he remembered Yuki was similar to snow he said "Thanks Frostbite." and got hurled out a window. The poor boy looked so mangled when Izumo and Kotetsu hauled him in that you couldn't tell where one part ended or the other part began. I'd been using those names just to tick those two off ever since.

Arikara was the only one laughing her head off though her inner self probably yowled, _"HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF THEM! NO ONE DOES THAT BUT ME CHA!"_

Though my inner voice was jittering madness again by singing, _Gummy Bear, Ari's a Gummy Bear, full of kitty hair. Yum! Yum! Yum!_

Murray was rounding up the end of the group with a bored looking Shikamaru when he stopped and stared. His teal eyes wide wonder. His whole body shaking. He just pointed up to the sky. His face doing a good impression of a gagging fish.

"Look up in the sky!" He yelled.

"What is it a bird?" Sakura asked looking up at the flying object.

"Is it a plane?" I wondered which got the rest staring at me like I was stupid. Of course they don't have planes here.

Naruto looked up, shielded the sun from his eyes, beaming, "Oh yeah it's what's her face!"

"Temari," Shikamaru grumbled, "Bothersome idiot."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto grumbled, "I'd at least remember a suna girl who flew around on a giant fan sheesh."

"It's still pretty funny you don't remember my oldest sister." came a raspy voice. We turned to see a guy place his hand on Arikara's shoulder. He stood just about as tall as Naruto with short red hair parted to show the kanji "love" on his forehead. He had these see foam green raccoon eyes from years of no sleep. His red long shirt, multi buckle vest, and that giant gourd on his back looked familiar to what I'd seen in a newspaper once. Then it hit me. This guy was that former demon container from Suna!

"meep," was all Arikara could suddenly say. Oh my does the Demon Witch of the Rogue Three have a thing for the dude?

"Hey Gaara," Naruto greeted, "Have you met Clarity-chan?"

"She's the one that threw a coffee cup at your head right?" Gaara muttered.

I face faulted, how come is that more memorable than my artistry?! Huh?! Huh?!

"Meep," Arikara squeaked.

"Who's this girl?" Another guy asked, he was the one sporting a black shirt, black trousers lines of purple make up on his face and a cat like hat with the Suna logo on a metal plate. I'm guessing this was Kankuro, Gaara's older bro.

"This is Arikara," Gaara spoke softly in a voice that made you want to hear him, "She's the one who sort of kind of hung out with me even when I became a homicidal little kid."

Note to self: Operation embarrass the witch happens now.

"Oh yeah Gaara," I mused as I stuck a chummy hand over Arikara's quaking shoulder, "Did you know her nickname's Gummy Bear? C'mon everybody say Hi Gummy Bear!"

"Hi Gummy Bear!" voiced the crowd, even Teuchi got in on the act. It was hilarious!

Arikara's face screwed up into a decent teary eyed pout. She looked ready to kill me! Her fists shaking with anger. Suddenly I'm thinking Oh Snap! She's gonna kill me! She's gonna kill me! She's gonna . . .

WHUMPH

She's going to faint from the combo of embarrassment and raging hormones. I didn't stay to see her faint. I was busy running for my life. I accidentally bashed myself head first into Kakashi. Still I high tailed it to the hospital as fast as my legs could carry me.

The one thing I didn't count on when I made it to my room was how fast the news spread about my adventure in Naruto's psyche. Jiraiya told Shizune the news. Shizune passed the news to the Hokage. The Hokage, who was actually sober for once, since I got here laughed so hard she spewed hot tea out her nose. Hmmm, maybe it was about the part of me calling the Kyuubi an old Fuzz-fart. I don't know but the result included the Forensics department cutting my comfy clothes into little snips.

"YOU TOOK MY CLOTHES?!!!" I roared at the Hokage, "I could see taking like skin and DNA samples but why _the heck _did you take my clothes?"

Tsunade looked at me so innocently with her seriousness. Oh if I ever get my hands on her I'll . . . Scratch that, she's the strongest woman in the village and a practitioner of medicine with the strength of a giant. She'd snap my body in two and make it look like an accident. Yes I'm piping mad but there was _no way _I could be _that _stupid.

"What we just need _all _your clothes for evidence," Tsunade stated like she was having a tea party, "Besides, with your measurements I'm sure we can find you a more _suitable_ spare set."

"I hope whoever owns a spare set won't need it back," I muttered. Since I already knew this was the old bat's way of saying my dressing needed to be more appropriate. Jeez now I know how teens felt when Moms raid their closets. I never had that happen in my life before; _ever. _

She already pointed to the spare set Naruto had brought and left on the sink. Jiraiya appeared to have snuck into my window and left me a box. I opened up Jiraiya's box and gagged. Did he really expect me to wear a bright red miniskirt cut up to here and paisley shirt cut down to there? Ugh! Naruto left a baggy navy blue long sleeve shirt and black ninja pants by the bed along with an extra pair of ninja boots. Hmm, a little masculine but nothing a couple darts couldn't fix right?

Naruto noticed that evil glint in my eye stating, "Oh no you don't."

"Oh I do," I cooed sticking my tongue out at him.

The battle of the shirt raged on! Naruto grabbed one sleeve and I grabbed the other. Next thing we know Yamato's been run over. Sai got smashed by a pink and orange bickering blur. Daishioryu suddenly grabbed the end of it and all three of us tumbled down a set of stairs to wind up flopping over Hinata. A dreaded slip of paper lazily flew over everyone's heads to land at the Hokage's feet.

"Noooooooooo!" Jiraiya and I helplessly wailed but too late! Tsunade picked up the paper and I could already see the veins pulsing on her forehead. Oh well, So Tsunade saw a sketch of herself drawn naked. My hand literally acted on it's own at the time I swear.

"Clarrrriiiiiityyyyy," Tsunade howled, banshees have nothing on her, "Jeeeerrrrraiiiiiiyaaaaa!" Oh man I'm so doomed.

"Heh heh," Naruto chortled, "Busted!"

"Oh Can it Knucklehead," I scoffed.

"Make me," Naruto mocked with which I promptly hit him, "Ittai"

I ran back to my room leaving poor clothing to it's ultimate doom. It became my new sewing project Mwahaha! I came back out calm and confident in a dark blue shirt with Lacy stitches since I made it into a paisley print feminine top with long blue sleeves. I edged the pants leg bottoms in red. What I had left I quilted into Cargo pockets for the black ninja pants. The ninja boots were fine so I left them as is. I mean no wonder these guys don't have to wear socks the boots are much more breathable than they look!

"Ah man," Naruto wailed, "And that was my good shirt too. Why can't you just buy clothes like normal people."

"Uh-huh yeah and this coming from the same little brotherly figure that I treated to my whole wallet's worth in ramen today? Yeah, real mature," I mused poking at his stomach, "It's called basic sewing skills . . . _Learn it_."

A snippet of Jiraiya's words rang in my head . . .

_. . . the slightest flare of Chakra can affect anyone's mind and it's always for the worse never the better. _

I still hated to leave loose ends untied what I hated even more was my future role in making a certain lazy eyed ninja go into post traumatic stress disorder. If the rogue three are the ones least affected by it especially Arikara, every time she's near it she goes mildly sadistic. Sai, no go, at his worse he forgets his emotions entirely and turns into an automaton needing a goal and an instruction manual (or in his case 76 of them I saw his self help books in his apartment). The only lead I had left was Obito and Rin, plus seeing the way Kakashi suddenly clamped up it made me wonder. What horrors did he see as a little kid? This was my only lead and having Kakashi as an escort was my best bet. But what about escort 2. Definitely not Naruto, I don't want him to go through hell again thanks to that Fuzz-fart in his stomach.

I sighed, so many possibilities. Tsunade used to have a fear of blood; that'd creep up. Sakura and Ino have bickering tempers; don't lock'em in a room together. Neji would go on and on about his "changed destiny"; sounds harmless but any blathering is _annoying_. Lee and Gai would go overboard and make everyone do their hellish physical fitness routine; have them as personal trainers and trust me Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig even, would go out of business. There's always Murray but he's a no go, at his worse, his hyperactivity can make even Naruto's energy levels look sane at the moment. Jiraiya's hornier than most teens and trust me that's pretty horny.

Well Hokage's orders were two ninja but they didn't say which two. Yamato is the guy I knew the least. Sure some Orochimaru experimented on him when he was a few months old and heck that's too young to remember anything. He did react to me the way complete strangers normally do (I.E. question my sanity) so I don't notice anything mentally wrong. Heck maybe if the right person asked him he'd be honored to help. Tsunade liked to keep me in the dark and unfortunately if I asked her, I knew the council would send me a couple lame brains that wouldn't let me do anything. So I had to ask the two myself.

"Yo, Yamato," I beckoned and that ANBU in question upright ignored me! "Tenzou, Yamato, whoever you are."

"Yamato-taichou, Clarity needs to see you Grandma's orders." Naruto called.

The ANBU dude finally quit talking with the nurse and made his way over. I mouthed a quick "Arigato". Naruto gave me that discerning look. The one that said "You owe me more Ramen." Great, how can I afford to feed a blabber mouthed bottomless pit?

Yamato as he ambled over cocked his head to one side.

"You know you can take the mask off Yamato. I know it's you." I told him. Yamato set the mask aside and kind of scowled. Yes I'd been nuts, I'll admit it.

"Okay I'm sorry for showing you that scary picture. Oh and thanks for trying to put a tracking device in my food. So can I please pretty please with sugar on top have some help in finding a painting of doom. _Puh-wheeeeeeeze_," I pleaded with the best sparkly eyed pleading face I could muster.

"I'm still going to tell the Hokage on you," Yamato snorted.

"Well I have to run this by her too," I replied picking at my ear, "So, may I come with you when you tattle?"

"I'm coming too!" Murray sang, "You need some help Boss."

Whelp, the report didn't last long. Tsunade was so busy with paperwork I just slipped the permission slip on the stack and she signed it without even a second look. Murray is the one besides me with a cell phone; we had a few seals placed on the phones to make sure no one could trace the darn things. We met at the compound gates to disscuss the game plan.

"Okay Yamato I know you've already heard about why the compound is in shambles," I started.

"Uh yeah it starts with a C and ends in a Cratchet," Yamato joked.

"Just let me finish," I snapped, "I decided that we literally look for Obito and Rin, literally. Since I found out from Jiraiya how this genjutsu works, I decided to use the Genjutsu as a way to track this painting down since that's how it's rigged."

"But why do you need me?" Kakashi yawned, his lone eye glazing over as the genjutsu went into affect.

I gave the three a grim smile since I already knew at my worse I was going to be nothing compared to a trained ninja. I asked, "Well Kakashi how do you feel about becoming a victim for a change?"

"HEY OBITO!" Murray called, "RIN, GEUSS WHO WE HAVE HERE!"

Immediately a tremor went down Kakashi's spine. I took a look over at where Kakashi was looking. A guy with headphones, black spikey hair, and what looked like extra orange goggles suddenly pulled a kunai and charged Sharingan swirling. He slid forward. Kakashi flung me to the side, kunai in hand. Jeez, what was this? Attack of the ninjas? Yamato was already about to grab me but I stopped him.

"Hold it Yamato," I toned, "Just . . . restrain Obito okay. We're here to talk not go to war."

Hand signs flashed, Yamato slammed a palm into the dirt. Hunks of wood spiraled around the struggling Obito. So this was Kakashi's childhood friend huh? Well at least what he'd have looked at what, Kakashi's age? Rin was already jumping down from the sky. I held my hands high to show I had no weapons whatsoever. She held a kunai to my throat before gasping at the deep new scars on my back.

"Kakashi," she gasped, choking tears, "What did you do to her?"

"I . . . I didn't . . . I didn't do that to her," He stammered.

"Well of course he didn't!" I snapped, "He's been saving my pit-toot!"

THUNK

I snatched that blade and threw it into a nearby wall. Rin, surprised, looked ready to block my way to Kakashi. She was just a figment, yeah, but a dane real looking one! I could feel a good solid arm where I shoved her aside and wrapped my shoulder around Kakashi. Obito looked at me like I lost my marbles.

"So, what's been happening Kakashi usually you'd be telling people to back off." Obito joked. Yamato adjusted the wood a little and he jumped right down with a big grin, "When did you get so lax you're the most uptight guy I know."

"Kakashi?" I asked astounded, "Uptight?"

Yamato chuckled and with good reason too. How could an erotica reading procrastinator actually be uptight? That's laughable. Kakashi waved me off. He stuck his kunai in his pouch and pulled out Make Out Tatics. Man with the way Obito and Rin were reacting, it would've been as if that whole getting killed off thing never happened. Rin turned out to be a total sweet heart. Obito . . . he reminded more of an energetic version of the Kakashi _I_ knew instead of the Kakashi _he_ knew. Speaking of Kakashi though he didn't say anything yet at all, so what could get him talk? Could it be personal? Well I know pulling a heart string is always a gamble but no chances left untaken.

"Hey Kakashi," I whispered in his ear, "If you even have anything to say now just say it. You won't get another chance like this ever again especially if it's with a dead man."

"Um Obito," Kakashi stated, "About your gift from . . . my jounin . . . celebration." Okay that was weird Kakashi was shaking like finding the right word was like ripping the floor right underneath him. Now that I noticed there was nothing but a flap of skin where Obito's left eye should be.

"What that?" Obito asked then flashed a million watt grin, "Well no worries, you deserved it." Oh great Kakashi was about to clam up again. Murray signaled me and I got the picture. I jammed a fist up his ribs.

KA-THUMP

"Oof!" Kakashi grunted, "Why you . . . huh? Oh . . . well . . . Arigato Obito; oh and arigato to you too . . . Rin."

Their smiles was the last thing I saw before Obito and Rin started fade from view as if they were steam leaving a hot cup of tea.

"Well I have feeling that took care of the Genjutsu," Yamato sighed, "But what now? How do we find this painting now."

Kakashi finally slumped against my shoulder. Well I didn't know this feeling that came over me. My hand moved on its own regardless of my thoughts. I just, wrapped my arm around Kakashi's shoulder again not romantically mind you but it was as if I was his support all of a sudden. He didn't wave me off this time. Just stood there; heck I was half expecting my i-pod to suddenly be missing since he seems to like pick pocketing my stuff.

Sure the feeling of a bond can seem weird but it didn't feel bad either. It even cleared my head a little. Now I knew for sure where that painting was hidden! It was three houses over and had at least half a decade's worth of dust on the door. It was a good thing Kakashi decided to stand up a little. I was already running for the door pulling out my phone.

"Excuse me Hokage?" I asked, after ringing up her work number, "Remember that thing you wanted me to correct besides . . . Yeah I know you want me to burn that sketch of you naked but hey it's a sketch not a blackmail device. Yeah – yeah, I'm looking at it now. Oh yeah Murray says hi! Murray keep the lady talking she wants to talk ninja."

"Awesome," Murray whooped as he went to blithering a thousand miles per hour. Well that'd keep her busy so I could hand in my mission report.

Kakashi slipped through the door as quiet as a mouse. His lone eye wandering; dust gathered in the sunlight, sparkling through windows, skylights. Heck even the dust was so thick Yamato sneezed and launched himself a little off the ground. A family photo of a mom, a dad, a brother with deep worry lines despite his age, and a cute little raven haired boy sat staring solemnly out at the world.

"Isn't this Sasuke's house?" Kakashi asked, well that explained whose family was in the photo and who the disgruntled looking little boy was.

"Yeah but check this out," I took the photo down and turned the picture to its side to point out my discovery, "This frame is a lattice work frame only used for oil portraits, not photos. So here is the first piece of the painting."

"You hear that Hokage," Murray crowed. "We found the painting! Hey Clarity Naruto's Mom called she say-Whoah don't yell at me Hokage you look young enough to be his mom!-She said take the painting by her office immediately."

Seeing as I didn't want to damage the painting. The painting got sealed into a scroll and carried to the hokage tower in my art bag. As soon as it was unscrolled, I let Tsunade have her moment of rage. Hey a lady can't let her client wail?

"WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?!" she yelled face twisted in fury, veins popping, and looking like the last time some unlucky woman began PMSing in my shop, "FIRST YOU DRAW ME NAKED AS A JAY BIRD AND BRING THIS . . . THIS . . . Do you really call yourself an artist?"

I let my face slacken, imitating Sai's emotionless dead eye mask, while inwardly laughing maniacally, "Do you actually call yourself a ninja?"

She slammed down her fist. The table buckled under her weight. It groaned, and broke. My eyes caught Shizune holding TonTon. Her face twisted in peril. She had her free hand frantically gesturing in a cut it out gesture behind Tsunade's back. I grinned maniacally at the chaos.

"Hey Sai," I asked in a challenge, "Are you ready for lesson three."

His eyes lit up like a christmas tree as he asked, "What's lesson three?"

"Oh just," I looked for the right word to give to my anxious apprentice before deadpanning, "Undoing a picture frame."

Sai face faulted, everyone else face faulted at Sai's face fault, Tsunade drew up a stunned gaping stare and I was laughing my head off. Lesson two had been how to put pictures on the computer and print them off. Hinata was by the door hiding. Hmmm, I never pinned her to be such a stalker for a numb skull Naruto.

"Hey Hinata!" I called out with a wave of my hand.

GASP

Hinata's skin went from alabaster to alazarian crimson in nothing flat. Murray led her in by the hand. I was already showing Sai the basics of a pair of needle nose pliers on one set of corners. Sai, watching me, worked the other set. His brows mildly furrowed in consternation. I quietly went behind him and-

WA-BAM

The teen threw freaking threw me with the pliers no less! At least Murray caught the painting. Sai looked stunned. The Rogue three suddenly popped in from out of nowhere to see what was going on. Daishioryu cocked his head bemusedly. Arikara looked like the cat hearing the can opener. Yuukihana demurely took the quiet approach of sneaking beside Hinata. The photo fell revealing an oil painting covered with a little layer of dirt.

Okay note to self: Don't sneak up behind a ninja unless you want pain.

"Is that how you use senbon nose pliers?" Sai asked. Agh! Not this again, what a headache. I was already pinching my nose to stave the oncoming migraine.

"Sai," I seethed through a strained smile, "What has _Claire-sensei _been trying to tell you?"

"There are more things to art than . . . " Sai gulped, ". . . violence?"

"Very good," I beamed, "Though I was hoping to teach you an ancient bit of the arts but if you throw me like that again with a pair of pliers I'll be pinching your cheeks and dragging you over for a dodge ball session with Gai and tell him you want the throws at full power!"

Sai blanched, knowing full well I usually keep my word especially when I know I'll win.

Kakashi looked up from his book. He looked at Sai then looked at me glaring at Sai before turning his gaze back to Sai and drawling, "Are you okay Sai you look a little pale but you're always pale anyway. I'm sure you'll be fine." He went back to reading his book.

Tsunade's brow furrowed in consternation before asking, "Is that Grandpa?"

I rolled my eyes. Sure it looked like the first Hokage (her grandpa) but this painting technique was at least five hundred years old or older than the village at least. I mean the guy had Tsunade's eyes and the Shodaime's jaw line. Not to mention the Senju family hair.

Man after all that I got a sudden case of the yawns. I'd been working nonstop on only three hours of sleep a night and a pot of coffee a day. I decided to turn in for the night after Tsunade ranted off my ear about the naked sketch, my bad sleeping habits, and my "unhealthy" addiction to coffee. Good grief I've been chugging caffeine since I was six! What's the big deal?! Anyway I still had a major lesson to teach my darling ninja apprentice when I got up at oh say three o'clock maybe four o'clock in the morning?

What I didn't expect was to see eddies of sand swirling in the opposite direction of the wind pattern. Well, Samdstorms aren't at home in a forest. My mind was on Gaara of the Desert. I only met him yesterday what could he be doing on a morning like this? I grabbed a couple bottles of Ramenade, and an extra thick sketch book Sai bought at my shop. I turned to lock the door when a flash of purple caught my eye. Arikara seemed to be meeting Gaara on the roof with a blue ice pop in hand.

SHTICK

Gaara seemed to be perched on the roof in the moonlight deep in thought. The sound of an ice pop split in half cued a flicker of surprise in his eyes before it melted away from his face. Yeah someone that hasn't slept in years probably never got to enjoy that sleepy feeling of just vegetating on a lazy morning until maybe now I guess. Arikara was leaning over with Gaara's ice pop in one hand, her half gathering dust bunny's on her long red shirt top. I left the two alone, they probably had a lot to catch up on for the day.

I had a lot to catch up _with. _The bottom door to Sai's apartment building was locked; _great._ Neighbors must've complained of my good morning call on the rocks. I slung my art bag over my shoulder, set the ramenade and sketch book inside and scrambled up a tree to the roof. Hup; so far so good, Sai locked his window too. I pulled a bobby pin out of my air and set to picking the lock.

DING-A-LING-A-LING

I froze, why do I always fall for traps? Of course, Sai rigged the window! At least no one was going to kill me but I didn't think of that. Sai, half asleep, wobbled to the window. He had his ninja ink in hand and-

GONG!

I slung that heavy cow bell at his face. Ah man, poor Sai, how am I going to explain a black eye to the Hokage? It didn't look so bad, his eye swelled shut. Panicking I ran to the kitchen and got some frozen vegetables out of the freezer. As soon as Sai was up in a daze I slung some frozen corn in his face.

"Oh man I . . . am . . . Sooooo sorry!" I pleaded, "I wasn't thinking!"

"Yet you throw just fine." Sai teased with his "mirth mask" at full power. I never felt so ashamed in all my life. Well there was that one and that other time and that other time before that. I shook the regrets from my head. This isn't like me! No chances left untaken and no regrets. I handed Sai a Ramenade and plopped down beside him at the floor.

"Sai," I sighed here goes everything, "When you threw me yesterday. I suddenly found out there's just so much I don't know about you."

Sai's whole face slackened, the life just left his eyes. He stared into his soda a long time. What was he going to say? What was he going to do? I . . . always keep forgetting he's a ninja to the core. He was trained to hide things, mask his emotions, and blend into a backdrop like the stratus clouds that blend into the sky. I hate that awkward silence where no one knows what to do or what to say.

"How do you do that?" Sai suddenly asked.

"Hmmm?" I responded, finally some action, "Do what?"

"How do you challenge everything?!" He suddenly yelled, "You even looked Danzo-sama square in the eye and told him off like it was nothing! How do you do that?" Okay that was a surprise. I didn't even know that myself. Good grief, I was still high on that victory from the kyuubi. I challenged the most powerful demon known to man and earned my scars. I felt like I could challenge anything. Still, how do I make a wise lesson out of something stupid?

"Okay if you want to know the truth it was just this," I stammered trying to find the right words, "I . . . was foolish . . . Not because I was a civilian going up against a warrior, but because it wasn't myself I was thinking about. No chance left untaken and no regrets. I made sure Cho didn't play into Danzo's hands and when Danzo was challenging me saying 'you will fear the name of root' I just hinted that I already know a lot about him."

"What do you know about him?" Sai asked.

"Oh I know he's after Naruto for some reason and judging by the look of that disgusting arm. He's after something bigger than you and me combined." I stated as I paused to let the info sink in, "So, what can you tell me about yourself, I mean I'm not asking you to reveal your deepest darkest secrets. What hobbies, goals, likes, or dislikes do you have in mind?"

Sai blanched, and I could already tell trying to pry information out of him about himself was going to make this morning one very long morning.

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**Chapter 9:Turpentine and Dodge Ball:**Clarity and Sai clean up a painting. Kakashi has found a kindred spirit in the love of his favorite book series. Clarity gets the surprise of the century after eavesdropping on Tsunade then challenges her to a dodgeball game? Stay tuned to find out.


	10. Chapter 9: Turpentine and Dodgeball

**Author's Note:** I don't own Naruto. The Rogue Three belong to Devonna. The only characters I do own are Clarity, Murray, and a strange group called the Forgotten Ninja. Whelp this chapter kind of made me cry in the middle but then I decided to give it a happy twist.

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**Clarity in Konoha**

**Chapter 9: Turpentine and Dodge Ball**

I already had my baggy paint smock on today and was already busy wiping down the painting with a watered down cleaning solution that Sai brought from a local art store. I could barely read the katakana but for the most part it seemed fairly safe. I had every window wide open just to make sure nobody started hallucinating from sniffing the fumes. The combination of paint fumes and cleaning solution would be enough to knock anyone on their can.

Sai had on a baggy old sweat shirt Murray let him borrow for a paint smock. Jeez I had to change my entire teaching approach to get Sai to understand what I was saying! I actually gave him a study guide to thumb through. He already went through all my research notes and even my baroque book yet it still wasn't enough to satisfy his study lust. He had asked me some pretty disturbing questions about the birds and the bees when he found this one illustration of a woman knocking boots with a fawn and having a blast.

"So do goats dig chicks with boobs like that?" Sai asked, his eyes boring into my noggin. My face immediately flushed Alazarian Crimson at the thought of what picture he was probably talking about.

"Sai that's not a goat eh-heh th-that's known as either a satyr or a fawn," I nervously chortled, Sai's face remained blank in other words that was his version of clueless, "Those are creatures of roman mythology that represented a lust for . . . Wine, music, and women. They were basically cloven hoofed perverts with good music skills."

"I wonder if I could be friends with fawns," Sai murmured, a dreamy smile crept across his face before he asked me, "Do those things act like Jiraiya-sama by any chance?"

"Give that Pervy Old Fart a goat's pit-toot and that's basically how a mythological fawn acts like period," I stated, "Oh and pay attention Sai. We're wiping off dirt not the dude's face."

Sudden realization dawned on the boy as he suddenly turned his attention back to his work. Sai was busy concentrating on wiping off dirt with a rag. I spotted a familiar bouncy pinkette bob her way into the room followed by a stream of familiar faces (Team Gai, Team Kurenai, Team Kakashi, Team Asuma, and each respective jounin sensei). The room suddenly got really crowded. I stuck the painting up on an easel to make sure it was safe.

"Wow Sakura," Ino exclaimed, "From the way you described the painting, I'd thought it'd be . . . Dingy."

The painting glowed in all it's bright jewel toned glory. Honey sickle eyes sparkled mirthfully out of a bright skinned face.

"Well you do have to consider that paintings been in Sasuke's house for who knows how long before Clairity found it." Shino dead panned, hands in his pockets.

". . . Sasuke . . . ," Naruto and Sakura whined suddenly starting to go into mope mode. Not on my watch!

KA-BONG

THONK

"Ow!" They screamed. I rotated my good throwing arm. Man, it felt good to throw something after all these days. What? You'd think I'd throw a pity party for a couple moping teens? No regrets, and moping is just a waste of time in my book.

"What was that for?" Naruto yelled.

"SHANAROO" Sakura roared, but too late. Kakashi finally arrived to stop a roaring medic with battle rage issues.

"Yo," Kakashi greeted me before handing me a little orange book. "Here's the first volume of the Icha Icha Paradise series. Sorry I was late, I got lost on the road of life."

"Awesome thanks," I cheered ignoring Kakashi's late excuse since well, I already know what grave stone he was visiting. Everyone looked at me with white eyed shock.

"Y-you r-r-r-re-read that stuff!" Sakura squealed, asking the same question that ran through everyone else's head. Neji glared, TenTen looked nervous.

"THAT'S SO UNYOUTHFUL IT'S PERVERTED!" Gai and Lee yelled in unison.

"Au contraire," Kakashi gave the group a closed eyed grin stealing my line, "You don't have to be a pervert to enjoy steamy literature, right Clarity."

"True that," I agreed, causing everyone to face fault to the floor except for Sai.

"Does that make you a satyr too?" Sai asked, blank faced again.

"No Sai," I exclaimed, "I'm not a pervert with a goat's pit-toot."

"Then I really hope we can be friends." Sai beamed.

Laughter echoed outside the window. I turned to see Yamato chortling out side the window. A branch of wood materialized from his hand to the wall to hold himself steady. I went to the window where that pesky ANBU had his fingers holding onto the window sill. I breathed deep than slammed that window down.

SHHHH THUNK

AHHHHHHHH

CRASH

I opened the window to yell at Yamato in the alleyway, "Just walk it off dude, walk it off. Tsunade called to have me report to her anyway."

"Clarity that's mean, even for you." Murray snorted, ah man, I know that look. It's his pouty angry puppy face. He crossed his arms and glared at me with big sparkly teal eyes.

"All right I'll apologize the next time I see him Murray I promise," I stated with a girl scout's salute and crossed my heart with the fingers of my other hand. The next time I'd seen him was when Murray, Sai, and I delivered the painting to the Hokage's office with a new lattice work frame to boot. We left the paint smocks behind. I had on my new outfit and Tsunade was probably nursing an extra large sake bottle. She had this pleasantly pickled blush to her cheeks while she was sipping from a shot glass, go figure.

"Oh yeah, Yamato," I stated with as much casualness as I could muster, "Sorry about slamming the window on your fingers."

Yamato narrowed his eyes at me. His fingers pulsated plumpish pink. If Sai kept his mouth shut than all heck wouldn't have broken loose.

"You weren't sorry," Sai blabbed, "The last time you were sorry was when you gave me a black eye!" Of course that shiner I still gave him was turning a swell shade of deep Ultramarine blue.

"WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO?" Tsunade roared, vessels on her forehead pulsating. I'm surprised she didn't slam the shot glass down. Still it was a wonder I was still standing. My knees shook as I swallowed my pride in a clammy gulp. I gave the speech I rehearsed with Murray about the whole thing.

"You never ask a ninja personal information." she snapped, "It could get you killed on more dangerous circumstances."

"Excuse me," I scoffed, "You asked woody over hear to put tracking devices _in my food._ Then I almost ended up lengthening my hospital stay by teeing off a bunch of your patients that seem be suffering from multi-cases of post traumatic stress disorder and you're telling me to keep my yap shut? I'm the one that's also working with ninjas here and if I don't know anything about who I'm working with than I hope you can arrange my funeral." I snapped my raw sienna eyes mirthfully glaring into the Hokage's icy Honey sickle orbs. I leaned on the desk for emphasis and glared. Sure I'm no stranger to the slug princess's killing intent now but after everything I'd been through I already found out plenty of buttons to press. Naruto's the only dude to ever call her Grandma, but there are also times when she's usually a medical practitioner first and a Hokage second. The Hokage would've slammed me to a wall and shown me my place. The docter though already knew I had some little problems running through my system, particularly Kyuubi Chakra and some other demon. The doctor side won out and she gave an exhausted sigh.

"Clarity meet Yamato," Tsunade interjected, "Yamato, I see you've already met Clarity." Yamato held up his plumpish pink fingers to prove it.

I turned to shake hands with Yamato. You know come to think of it this was the first time I studied him closely without the ANBU get up. Almond shaped dark eyes and an unassuming smirk. He wore the jounin outfit and stood a little taller than me. At least I'd have to look up to see beyond his chin strap. He winced a little when I squeezed his hand a little too hard.

"Jeez Clarity how'd you get such a grip," Yamato winced, "Are you sure you're not a ninja?"

"Uh yeah this is actually the first ninja mission I've actually been in," I drawled, "And no I'm not a ninja, my arsenal includes a brain full of questionable trivia and a good throwing arm developed through years of playing recreational dodge ball."

The crickets were chirping as a silence filler; _awkward. _Tsunade shooed Murray and I out but not before I grabbed the empty shot glass on the desk. Tsunade was busy explaining the mission to captain Yamato. With the way she shooed me out. I just knew it was time to do a little recon, my style. I put the cup to the door and my ear to the bottom of the cup. The message came in loud and clear.

"I'm going to assign you a five man squad just to keep Clarity in line." Tsunade stated. I hope she didn't wonder what I was doing with her shot glass. Heck, that didn't matter, she drew a long swig straight from the bottle as I heard copious amounts of paperwork hit the trash, "She's a blunt habited foolish maverick who's just like having a second knucklehead. I warn you Yamato, use whatever means necessary to keep her in line. She has no fear when it comes to back talking whatever can kill her. I know I hired her for her ability to stay alive but if push comes to shove, I won't be having her get other people killed."

KRSH

I stormed off just in time to have a gaggle of ninjas gawk my way. I suddenly didn't care anymore! I didn't care who saw me as I kicked that door open went to the nearest training ground with a tree! I took out a little ball I keep in my back pocket for just such an occasion. I threw it full throttle, cursing Tsunade's name up to high heavens! The harder I threw the bigger the little crater in the tree became. That is until I threw too hard and missed.

KA-THUD

"Ow!" someone yelped, specifically TenTen, I shot up a tree when a barrage of blades flew my way.

KA-SHINK SHINK SHINK SHINK

"Are you in good health Clarity?" asked Lee, obvious concern down turning the lips of his bushy browed face. I slunk down branch by branch until I was at least high enough to land without breaking a leg.

"I'm durable as is," I replied dusting the dirt off a little, "Sorry about the throw there TenTen. Oh may I ask has anyone seen my little ball?"

"It went northwest, six o' clock, and rolling off to training ground seven." Neji replied, Byakugan blazing. Man if anyone ever wanted to ask some guy to work for the lost and found; he'd be a perfect candidate.

I waved my good byes and went to training Ground 7 only to find Tsunade herself bouncing the ball in one hand and making small talk with a certain Kakashi Hatake. Yeah she does pretty well to hide her anger when partially sober but little things still pop up. Her mouth scrunched to a thin line when Kakashi cheerfully told her about how we seem to share an interest in the same book series. Her nails digging into the post she was leaning on creating deep little grooves with little effort. Her shinobi mask cracked with the hard set of her jaw line. If she knitted her eye brows together any further she'd be knitting sweaters with the power of her stress. Suddenly it hit me, how much pressure did I put this lady through. Sure I can always stay alive but legally she's probably been the one having to save my tail when I went and caused all this trouble since I got here.

Yeah she probably knows I even eavesdropped too and probably broke her fav shot glass. Guilt set in my stomach like a rock. How do I make this up to her? How do I make it up to the most hard working old (don't tell her I said old) lady in the village who's work load probably tripled since I came here. I swallowed my pride, time to suck up or suck in, whatever that means.

"Hey Hokage-sama," I choked, Tsunade spun on her heel, before I slowly whispered suddenly choking back a river of regret, "I'm sorry."

"Huh?" Tsunade's jaw dropped and her eyes suddenly went buggy.

"_I'm sorry I'm such an chump!" _I sobbed anime tears bubbled over despite my obvious attempt to hide them, "I've been such a hee-haw and I'm sorry for adding so many worry lines to your already pretty-"

WHAM

I ducked, the tree was gone. Kakashi's lone eye widened in horror along the lines of what-are-you-thinking-Clarity-you-idiot. I popped right up from where the tree used to be. My face probably the picture of shock. Where'd she throw that good?!

"WATCH YOUR TONGUE BRAT!" Tsunade wailed, "I don't have any wrinkles on my face and _you _know it." All of a sudden all thought was out the window. Man, I had to challenge that throw again. There are only so many people I've ever met in my life time that had an arm that could scare the bunkum out of me! I felt a maniacal grin spread across my blanching face. A mad gleam glittered in my raw sienna eyes. I just had to find out how far I could push that monster strength of hers.

Sweat was pouring in heaps on Kakashi's brow. I made my way over and asked if he could take my art bag and coffee thermos for me. I mean he had to of course. He'd certainly not want his precious book blown to smithereens. I spun on my heel to Tsunade and clasped her hands within my own. A gesture I never do to high politicals but I was already heck bent on the one thing that might either be the best or worst idea ever in the entire village.

"Tsunade please," I begged, "Please join me for a quick one on one in dodge ball! I beg you! That's the most Herculean throw I've dodged in years!"

Okay, needless to say, Training Ground 7, became the closest thing I've ever experienced to a war zone except with kick balls. Gai and Lee joined the mix and faster then you could say _Youth_ practically every ninja in the whole village were either fighting, dodging, or running for their lives from torpedoing spheres of doom! It was awesome! I barely had time to think before a ball whizzed by my face. I caught the thing and whizzed off into the water, hitting the lake floor with a soft thud.

SPLLAAAAAAASSHHHHHH

The lake front stood placid for a moment. A moment of truth. People suddenly clambered over worrying. Was I still alive? Did I die? Did Tsunade actually have to throw that hard? A thick silence filled the air for a few more seconds. I came up for air holding the ball. Yes, I did it, I did it, I caught the stinking ball, I did it! That just turned out to be the end of one of the most death defying dodge ball game . . . _Ever!_

Time flies when you're running for your life. The next morning, I nodded my head off to the news about Yamato leading, Hinata suddenly volunteering for the five man squad (where'd that confidence come from?) and Tsunade threatening to hit me even harder during our rematch. Naruto suddenly became psyched at the word rematch. Hinata and Sakura about had a heart attack (I'm evilly trigger happy). Yamato pretended not to care, though I know he loved getting revenge for me slamming a window in his face. Sai had not a clue to what anyone was implying but smiled happily all the same.

I waited at the gates, playing twenty question with Izumo and Kotetsu, when a disgruntled looking trio of Sand Sibs walked to the gate. Temari, poor girl, had bruises upon bruises lacing her arms. He fan probably had a gaping hole in it where a dodge ball whirled by (my fault; evilly trigger happy). Kankuro looked like the cat who got up on the wrong side of the bed. He was one of the ones who got caught up in the dodge ball spree, then got sent flying courtesy of Tsunade. I don't know what they used to pry him off the Hokage monument. Gaara was the only one who missed out on the fun. He had his arms crossed and if he had any eyebrows they'd be knitting sweaters. I mean Gaara with his affinity for sand blocking would've made a mean player, he still kinda pouted at missing the dodge ball death match yesterday.

"Hey you three!" I happily greeted, the Sand Sibs shot daggers from their eyes, "Y'know Gaara, if you want to challenge me to a dodge ball game. Just name the time and place, and I'll be there."

"Good," Gaara dead panned before growling, "Don't forget to invite _me _next time!"

"I'm on Sand Team," Arikara suddenly beamed glomping the poor Kazekage in a vicious hug. Gaara stiffened at the contact immediately! His face turning several shades of crimson.

BONK

Daishioryu threw a ball at my face stating, "Okay I hit the harpy. Do I get my-"

KA-PONG

"-Prize now?"

"There's your prize Dai-dai," I snarled, "I'm not a harpy."

Yuukihana quietly giggled, "I don't think that's the prize he's talking about Clarity."

"Okay, okay," I toned soothingly, "I won't call you Dai-dai. As long as you don't call me Harpy, Harpy-chan, Harpy Lady and anything that has to do with the H-word, you won't lose your soul deal?"

Daishioryu put his hands in his pockets gazed skyward in contemplation before replying, "Yeah, sure, whatever . . . Deal . . ."

Three days from Konoha to Suna were pretty uneventful. There was that one piggy back ride of doom through the trees. Yamato volunteered but until my death grip on him suddenly left him gasping for air. Then a sand storm hit. I played twenty questions with Gaara who dumped me on Temari and Kankuro when he couldn't take it anymore. Murray and Arikara were singing "Ima Gummi Mati" yet had no idea what they themselves were singing. Naruto was ready to go and Hinata was just basking in the glow of being in his presence. The third day the sandstorm lifted halfway through when I suddenly developed an acute case of Cabin Fever.

It felt so good to be out of that gagging cave! I was cart wheeling with joy! The rest of the group were giving me strange looks when I suddenly went into random intervals of rolling down the sand dunes, giggling with malicious glee. Murray, not being one to be left out joined in the tumble. We were breathless at the bottom when eleven ninja faces looked down at us with varying degrees of consternation.

"Why are you just flopping around in the dirt?" Temari asked, being a native desert dweller she never seen a tourist just roll down a sand dune before.

"It's fun!" I breathed, "You ought to try it!"

Gaara shook his head at me as if using something he used to kill as a thing of enjoyment made as much sense as Murray singing "Nuki Nuki Nuki" through his nose. Naruto, however always trying to turn something into a competition, suddenly got caught up in Murray's simple mirth.

"Hey Naruto," Murray beamed, "I bet you a bowl of ramen I roll faster than you!"

"You're on!" Naruto crowed, "Believe it!"

TUMBLE TUMBLE

CRASH

BAM

SMASH

It was thus then two hyperactive simpletons went rolling down a sand dune into an on coming cart. What caught my eye however was the cart load of clay works. Many of them crudely yet lovingly hand crafted. Many of them however, were also broken. The cart puller was balling rivers.

"Ha ha Ah-oohhh!" Naruto moaned, "I beat you Murray. I beat you fair and square! Ow! What did I land in?"

"You two just landed in a million ryos worth of artistic clay pots." I deadpanned.

"Nani?" Naruto mewed making flocks of birds scattershot all over Suna.

"My prize collection gone," The Cart Puller wailed, "What'll I put in my art museum now?"

"How about some of my works?" I offered, handing him my business card, "I can give you some unique works at a cheaper price, all hand done by me, as long as you supply the materials. I'll supply the labor for free. You'll still have to pay for the pieces of course before they go to the highest bidder."

The Cart puller's eyes sparkled. Yamato was about to interject but I pinched his cheek and pulled; _hard. _The rest were wondering what I was doing. The Cart puller who was aptly named Mr. Kawaii Cart was already singing my praises. He danced around throwing flowers everywhere. I went to help Naruto and Murray to their feet.

"Oh yeah," Mr. Cart beamed, "Here's some tickets. It's couples night at my museum y'know? You and your handsome little boyfriend there." He waved over to Yamato, "can go for free! Wheeee!"

"I'm not her boyfriend!" Yamato yelped, "She's a spitball and a hot head."

"Too bad," Mr. Cart chided, "You make such a cute couple."

"Thanks for the compliment," I politely answered, word of advice, if you don't want to look like a couple, don't overreact like one. Yamato was overreacting enough for the both of us, "but really my heart belongs to someone else who lost his life a long time ago in the last great war. Even if it was only puppy love. My remains under that great tree."

Well that poetic excuse ought to satisfy. Even Yamato knew I didn't know anybody around here till now. I had to try and play it by ear. Something about this museum caught my eye and it wasn't just the architecture. The whole thing looked literally rigged.

"It looks like a giant puppet," Kankuro whispered to Temari, "I mean where does one part end and the other part begin?" Okay this was getting old.

"YO!" I blabbed out loud then softened my voice a little so that everyone turned to get close to me, "You know this is actually a good way to find out more about the painting."

My hint instantly caught on. Some people suggested having my artwork rigged. Sai suggested a stake out. Others suggested a non hostile takeover. Arikara grinned at the prospect of wrangling information by force.

"Or," I suggested, "We could go out on a double date."

Whoo wee! The daggers and embarrassing looks the gaggle of gawking ninjas shot me would've scared a scare crow.

"Oh c'mon," I intoned, "Think about it. The one's entering the building are what fifteen? Sixteen? They're boyfriends going out with their girlfriends. Black hair blends in pretty well in a crowd. Send a klutz through there and you could probably trip up enough reactions from security to find a load of information without having to pour through books for hours on end. Arikara's a practically a hunter nin with her expertise in stealth. Couple that with Gaara's defense, Naruto's rambunctious ness and . . ."

"Hinata's Byakugan to scope out the places and people in the area," Yamato finished, "then we could be able to find out where the painting is and hopefully extract it without a problem."

"Oh no!" Temari growled, "There is no way I'm having my little brother out on a date just to risk life and limb over a stupid painting."

"Yeah," Kankuro agreed, "What good would it do to have Gaara dating a . . . a . . . Gaara Jr." Arikara snarled, Daishioryu just kicked back, and Yuukihana was nervously glancing at a puppet master firing up his chakra strings and a Demon Witch ready to go shadow claw on his black clad behind.

"I don't know," I sighed, since I already knew just the right buttons to push, "Naruto is going to need all the help he can get. This'd probably be his and Hinata's very first date. Right Hinata? Naruto?"

"I'll do it," Gaara deadpanned much to his older siblings jaw dropping shock, "Naruto really is going to need all the help he can get."

"Yay! Yay! Hooray me!" Arikara danced with glee, literally floating up in the air. A calm and complacent Yuukihana grabbed her but freaked as she too started to float away. Daishioryu casually grabbed Yuukihana's struggling ankle and walked away until Arikara was done doing her floating happy dance on cloud nine with Yuukihana hanging on for dear life.

"My . . . V-very first . . . _date!" _Hinata squeaked to herself, be still her beating heart, she was hyperventilating!

"What? Say something about me?" Naruto cluelessly asked, "Hey Hinata, what were they talking about!"

WHUMPH

Hinata's eyes rolled in their sockets. A hand hit her forehead. She flopped to the floor. Naruto scrunched up his face in confusion at the poor girl's antics. Murray fanned her with his hat. I was too busy giggling and Yamato, with a sigh, scooped her up into his arms before going off to ask for a hotel somewhere.

* * *

**Chapter 10: The Date of Doom:**Well, in the chapter of this story, it really does turn out to be Naruto's and Hinata's first date. Don't know about Arikara or Gaara but it turns out some people are pretty protective and decide to crash the party, nearly blowing their cover! Stay tuned to watch the sparks fly.


	11. Chapter 10: The Date of Doom

**Author's Note: **I don't own Naruto. I don't own the Rogue Three (borrowed OC). I own Clarity, Murray, and a group known as the Forgotten Ninja. Clarity and Sai have a long ways to go if they are ever to work out their apprentice and sensei relationship.

**

* * *

**

**Clarity in Konoha**

**Chapter 10: The Date of Doom**

"Oh hi Naruto's Mom," Murray called Tsunade on his cell phone in pure delight blabbing, "Naruto's on a date! Isn't he growing up so fast?" Tsunade was screaming bloody murder. I didn't know if it was because he keeps calling her Naruto's Mom, or when he blabbed about the date, but well it didn't take her long to come bashing her way into Suna. I made sure to ask Mr. Cart to give us a secret room to work in. Since I know Murray is crazy enough to blab all to Tsunade and not think twice. Yamato just wished he'd given all of Tsunade's contact info to him sooner. He's the guy that always keeps tabs on me!

"Murray why do you always call Lady Tsunade 'Naruto's Mom'?" I asked Murray over dango one morning.

"Well," Murray stated so matter of factly, "Tsunade may be old enough to be his Grandma but she still looks young enough to be his mom! They're both just about the only blondes in Konoha and to make things funnier she even reprimands him like my Mama used to do to me. So, she pretty much is his mom, Don'tcha think?" Okay that made disturbing sense, even for a simpleton like him.

Meanwhile Sai just found a new use for an old fashioned pottery wheel. I was busy doing some inventory on pastels, water colors, and plenty of clay when I noticed some palette knives were missing. I rummaged around for the light. Let's see is it here? Nope, a little to the left. Here we go.

WHIRRRR

RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT

A pottery wheel started spraying kunai, shuriken, palette knives and every blade I couldn't find that morning at the flip of a switch. A Kunai missed my face by about three millimeters. Worse, a shuriken went through my favorite coffee cup LEAKING MY FAVORITE COFFEE EVERYWHERE! Oh it's on, I mean throw me with a pair of pliers, no biggie, but no one and absolutely NO ONE screws with my coffee.

"SAIIIII," I roared, "Get your PIT-TOOT IN HERE NOW!"

"Hai Claire-sensei," Sai saluted but wilted under my wrathful gaze.

"What in the heck do I keep telling you?" I retorted by reflexive habit, we're still bashing out the kinks of our sensei and apprentice relationship.

"You didn't say anything about rigging art stuff yet." Sai beamed, with a fake little smile. I swear if that guy had a tail he'd be wagging it about now.

"Sai, I think it's time we up the aunty in your training," I announced, making Sai pull off such a warm glittering grin.

WHAM!

I shoved the extra heavy sketch book I've had in my art bag into his stomach. Sai almost keeled over under its massive weight. I threw him the Encyclopedia Anatomica which he caught in his right hand. He held the sketchbook in his left. He had to jump to catch that No. 2 Pencil I threw at him with his teeth.

"Caw-Sans-sei," Sai asked, "Ah sis art of training?"

"Oh sure," I stated, "You'll be drawing at least a thousand highly detailed skeletons in as many pages as possible. You stop once you'll be doing it all over again and again and again under _my _supervision until you get it right. Do I make my self clear."

Sai spat the pencil into his now free hand before responding, "Hai Claire-sensei."

"I've also already given you a pretty good example on the first page. Oh and don't forget you left your pencil sharpener at the hotel room." I declared with a maniacal grin. Sai stared at me flipped to the first page and blanched. I drew a nice little skeleton in all its glory, shading, anatomy, texture and the works!

"_You _want _me _to draw _this?!" _Sai practically screamed, "Detail like this could take me all night."

"Ha-ha!" I scoffed, "That only took me like what thirty minutes? With your talent you could do double what I produced and be cranking five times as much in thirty minutes. This is actually a university level exercise for basic anatomy. How could you do a good clone without knowing where all the muscles are attached?"

Sai paused and for the first time since I met him was at an honest loss for words. That was actually the first human emotion I ever saw flitter across his face and stay there. You got to hand it to the guy. He always told me he had no emotions but his artwork is still incredible! A person without emotions could never create artwork as expressive and abstract as that. I grabbed my DSLR camera and took a picture.

PA-CHICK

Sai was suddenly rubbing the flash spots from his eyes. I touched a hand on his shoulder just to let him know where I was at before I got behind him. I adjusted my head so he could at least see me in his peripheral vision. I pulled my camera up in front of the two of us. I just had to show him this picture I had to.

"You don't give yourself enough credit Sai," I told him, "Because as an artist to have some real backbone you ought to be saying I'm proud of what I can do instead of worrying about what you can't do. Trust me, I know, and I've had as many people call me a bad artist as there are people who call me a good one. See, you're a lot closer to your true emotions than you say you are because otherwise they'd never have shown in your gorgeous art work."

Yeah the picture looked blahhh. Sai's mouth was hanging wide open. The over exposure bleached his pallid skin fish belly white and his eyes looked screwed over in confusion. Normally to others this would've been the ugliest picture on the face of the planet. To him it was the most beautiful piece of praise in the world.

"I'll get right on it Claire-sensei," He beamed, and with that he was gone in a swirl of ink.

I sighed and went to clean up. Man I had a long road ahead of me! I needed to get all that artwork done _before_ tonight. I hate to admit it but Sai was definitely more creative than me. I mean who was teaching who here? Was the apprentice teaching the master or the master teaching the apprentice?

I was thinking of doing clay but decided to work with Scrap Iron instead. Heck I even stuck in a couple pieces of drift wood I air brushed to look like flying monkey fish. Mr. Cart was glad to have something in his exhibition. Yamato was surprised I knew how to spot weld with an Oxy Acetylene Torch. Sai, was drawing and running at the same time while channeling Chakra for his Super Beast Jutsu before flying off for recon. The only thing left was Hinata and Naruto. Yamato and I actually wondered if it was a good idea to let a suddenly bubbly Sakura loose on Arikara and Gaara. Daishioryu couldn't care less and Yuukihana, was already wrestling Arikara to the death for her favorite shirt. That only left me Princess Fainty Locks and Sir Dunderhead, three guesses at who they are and the first two don't count.

"W-what do I wear? What-do-I-wear?!" Hinata panicked, suddenly going from demure to shaking me like a wham-it doll. Good grief what strength, "Ooooh What do I do? What do I do?"

"First this is an undercover mission," I wheezed Hinata's squeeze on my neck was _too tight,_ "Turn your Hitai-ate inside out. Second this is just a casual date. Wear a pretty set of street clothes, be yourself, and you'll be just fine."

"Are you _sure _this isn't some formal event?" Naruto snorted, "This seems a bit too Artsy-Fartsy for my tastes."

"Naruto it's just a date," I replied, "I mean sure it's not with Sakura but look at it this way. You'll have romantic experience because of it . . . Naruto." I evilly grinned, knowing this was a good time to spring my verbal trap.

CRASH

"_A D-d-d-d-date?" _Naruto squeaked, "You mean as in holding hands, kissing, . . . That sort of date?"

"Ding-ding-ding-ding, Congratulations," I cheered, "This is pretty much what the cover for our undercover mission is Genius."

"Sh-sh-sh-shush up," Naruto stuttered his miffed face flushed a cute red as he stepped out in a clean black T-shirt, boot cut denim jeans and his black ninja boots. Hinata blushed profusely, I could practically see her pearly eyes twinkle _"Kawaii" _in morse code. Naruto reversed his Hitai-ate but still wore that black trailing head band. I dragged Hinata inside; all she had to do was leave the jacket and try on a nice little form fitting tie dye graphic tee and khaki capris. It's amazing what a person can come up with a bit of cash and a little creativity.

Our little double date quartet were able to go inside without a hitch. Man Sakura did a bang up job on her duo. Just a henge to hide that love kanji on his forehead and nobody even thought twice that the Kazekage was out on a date. Arikara was still on cloud nine. She was leading him a thousand miles an hour by the hand this way, that way, and good grief Gaara's face was beginning to get as beat red as his jacket. The duo I was in charge of however, followed me in yet . . . Naruto was practically glued to my thigh and Hinata was glued to Naruto.

Mr. Cart said I was the artist who's work was on exhibition and I had to bring a "date." I just drug Yamato in as a tag along but he only agreed if he could fill in for a security detail and nothing else! He was still the team captain. Yeah-yeah, I only invited him in as a guy friend anyway and Mr. Cart never looked further into it. The one thing I did look into was a few suspicious characters dressed as civilians yet they were using Chakra control to pace circles in the ceiling. A few more bad habits later and I knew that was the two older Sand Sibs and the Hokage. It didn't take Tsunade long to bash her way in here anyway. Heck the gatekeepers were so scared to ask for her pass port that they just ran squealing like a popped piggy.

"Okay off you go Naruto," I pushed the blushing couple towards the crowd, "Just walk around and make goofy faces at the art work. No one will ask you a thing."

"I hope they don't," Naruto snarled, those whisker stripes brightened from that blush that radiated from his cheeks to the bridge of his nose, "You are so going to me mega bowls of ramen after this. You know that?"

"Yeah yeah," I whispered, "The contract deal, but Murray's thinking of doing a curry night. How 'bout minyana; deal? "

I held up my hand for a pinky promise which Naruto returned the favor grumbling, ". . . deal . . ."

Well my ramen loving attachment was off and I decided to hang out at the punch bowl. It was the best view to get of those who haws. I had my DSLR camera ready with the zoom lens. I caught a picture of Gaara silently chortling at Arikara's impression of a flying fish monkey. Nothing suspicious going on there. The picture I got of Hinata and Naruto was just so cute! Hinata found the refreshment stand on the other side and those two were eating out of the same bowl of Ramen! Heck, I ordered that especially for the exhibition and explained it all to Hinata including the little nuances that always broke Naruto's grinning little mask like the mention of the words Fuzz-Fart, Ima Gummi Mati, and Sai's thoughts of Jiraiya with a Goat's Pit-toot.

I mingled with Yamato a little until I saw Kankuro use this engenius method of Chakra strings to fly to the floor. Oh man if that bozo starts demanding something of Gaara like I think he's going to. Our entire cover would be blown! I rushed past Yamato, expecting the worse in Three . . . Two . . . One . . .

POOF!

"Yo baby!" A nude, pigtailed hottie blonde suddenly gushed. Oh dear crimony, it was Naruto's infamous Sexy Jutsu. Kankuro looked left and got a French kiss full on the mouth. Eyes widened in horror for the pitch!

SPYUUUUUUU

CRASH

Kankuro got launched via a nosebleed into the punch bowl. I pulled Yamato aside just in time to see Kankuro sputtering around a mouthful of punch.

WHOOSH

KA-THUMP

"What in the hell are you trying to do Kankuro," Yamato hissed, "Get us all killed."

"Okay everybody let's give our wonderful performers a round of applause," I announced, being practically an expert at saving a show without blowing my top, "C'mon you guys take a bow!"

Naruto, that ham, was blowing sexy kisses left and right in that nude form of his. Many a girlfriend was about to drag their love struck boy friends out in a huff. Luckily Hinata gathered up the bravado to yank Naruto off the table before he transformed back and huffed back to a far corner. I mouthed a quick Arigato to them both before Naruto decided to wander off and get a soda somewhere. I just knew there was going to be a big hen pecking fight so . . . I took upon myself to rat the three out.

WHUMP

WHACK

CRASH

FLOP

Three little spies fell down in a row. Tsunade was ready to crack her knuckles but no chance. I flipped those three one handed by the hair, _hard._

"Ow leggo," Temari whined.

"Only so long as you three don't embarrass yourselves in front of half a thousand people," I snipped letting go of their heads, "Or otherwise I'll rat you guys out so fast your heads will spin!"

"You wouldn't dare!" All three chorused.

"Would Gaara and Naruto like to know what you've been doing on the ceiling?" I mused, "Hmmm?"

Kankuro opened up to say something but just shut his yap when he forgot what to say. Temari just glowered knowing full well I promise whatever I back up. Yamato decided to dissappear. Tsunade, cooled her jets. She stood up to gather what little dignity she had left.

"Expect double the payback the next time we have our little rematch," she snarled.

"We'll be there." The two Sand Sibs darkly chorused.

"Goody," I mewled evilly grinning, "I'll try not to miss it for the world."

WHEE-OOO

The alarm went off. Naruto looked up startled yelling, "I DIDN'T DO IT!"

He pointed at Gaara. "HE DID IT!" Gaara gave Naruto a blank look like he was thick out his gourd. Strangest thing though, that alarm didn't go off on the floor we were on. It went off one floor above us.

"Excuse me Yamato," I asked feeling something not right in the air, "Have you seen . . . Mr. Cart?"

I swirled my punch glass a little. The art on the cart was worth at least a million ryo yet why did that Museum curator welcome me in with open arms. Why did Mr. Cart, take my art so openly with such abandon? Curators I know are picky snotty people. Every artist worth their salt have to keep dancing this little jig while saying this little speech over and over and over that said take my stuff please, please, please. Worse thing is I just gave an art thief _my _bussiness card. This was not looking good.

"Kankuro, this building literally is a giant puppet," I murmured, "What could you do to rat out a certain rat that goes by the name of Mr. Kawaii Cart?"

"That's easy," Kankuro scoffed, "Just this of course."

Little blue threads of energy flicked from his hand. He twiddled his fingers and the place came tumbling down! People ran screaming. A glint of light caught my eye. Yamato was already ahead of me.

"**Wooden Cage Jutsu," **Yamato announced as wood from the walls entrapped a snarling Mr. Cart who had a bag of expensive artwork in toe. The building almost buckled. Kankuro, with a flick of his wrist made the building stay silent. Now that I looked at him closely. Mr. Cart was not as cute as his name suggested. He was hunched over, shaking, and wore such a ragged tooth grin. Those clothes of his looked like a prison uniform. Suddenly without a second foot I grabbed Mr. Cart by his slimy ankle. If it weren't so obvious, it was like he was a factory label. He sported a bar code on his foot as well as a little saying that made literally all the people left standing there so pissed that I even read it out loud.

I scraped the dirt off and read, "Property of Orochimaru."

"Someone call the Kazekage," a couple of sand ninja suddenly gasped, "The sacred painting is gone!"

"A-hem," Gaara coughed to make his short little presence felt, the ninjas still argued, "Ah-ha-hem"

"YO!" I screamed causing the ninjas to jump in their one size fits all worried faces.

"What do you have to say to me?" Gaara asked.

"Ummm nothing?" The ninjas blabbed, I rolled my eyes.

"Hey Gaara," I asked politely, "Does any of your team have anything we could borrow per chance?"

"Sure why not?" Gaara stated before anyone could stophim, "What would you need it for."

WA-BAM

KA-SHING

KA-THUNK

I grabbed the steak knives and proceeded to hurl them at an enraged Mr. Cart. Yamato panicked, knowing it was his job to "keep me in line." I wonder was I still mad about being swindled by an art theif. You bet, and I hated every minute of it. Mr. Cart, however was so far gone in the head; he howled like a hobbling elf.

"You won't get near Sasuke-sama!" Mr. Cart hissed, "Sasuke-sama my man meat not yours. He's mine . . . _mine . . . MIIIIIINNNNNEEEE!_

"Well gee Mr. Cart," I grinned at him delightedly, "You gave us all the information we needed to know."

* * *

**Chapter 10: Sasuke in Suna: **Naruto and Clarity track down any Uchiha leads yet a lead finds Clarity instead. Sasuke accepts a bet that ends up making himself sick and Clarity purposely gets herself kidnapped by Orochimaru much to Team Kakashi's extreme displeasure.


	12. Chapter 11: Sasuke in Suna

**Author's Note: **I don't own Naruto or the Rogue Three (Devonna's OC's type up Rogue Three on Youtube). I do own Murray and Clarity. I write this story for fun, so sit back, have a little read, and watch the sparks fly. ^_^

* * *

**Clarity in Konoha**

**Chapter 11: Sasuke in Suna**

That art theft had all of that sandy village of Sunagakure in an uproar. I felt a little sorry for Gaara and well, since I didn't have any artwork to do. I decided to help the Kazekage by flooring around the paperwork this whole mess caused. Well, being a civilian didn't always help things much. The least I could do was run a few errands, uh help Kankuro in cleaning a few of his puppets (particularly crow and salamander) and finally help Temari by repairing that hole in her fan. Agh, this still didn't get me any leads on where this Orochimaru guy went!

Naruto and Sakura gladly gave me more than enough information about Sasuke Uchiha. Sakura gave me the more straight forward info of his Missing Nin status and the revenge he wanted on a certain Itachi Uchiha for massacring his entire family. I shuddered, at all the orphanages I got bounced around in I met plenty of kids who went through that. They either stayed shut away from the entire world or fill their hearts with so much hate that they actually push away the people that still love them in return. Sasuke was the latter or at least the hate filled kind. I mean for someone to choose his own worst enemy over a whole village filled with everything I wished I had growing up (friends, family, loved ones to bond to). He'd just have to choose a road filled with hate.

Naruto's information, at least to me, was so much more worthwhile. To him, Sasuke really was the brother he never had. That Uchiha always just grunted or went "hn" just to say he heard ya. He always hated having someone better than him. That guy was the heart throb of his generation yet that cold hearted bastard(Naruto's words, not mine) wouldn't give the fan girl on his own team the time of day (said fan girl proceeded to pummel him, again Naruto's words, not mine). I told Yamato where I was going just out in the park to do some sketches when-

ZOOOOOOOOM

KER SMASH

A very distraught Sai fell from the sky. Oh crud I so forgot about him! His eyes were swirling. He jauntily stood and with a wicked grin he emerged victorious from the depths of fatigue.

"Sai," I begged, "Please don't tell me you were up in the air nonstop for twenty four hours straight."

"I . . . I did it Claire-sensei," Sai grinned though it doesn't look as enthusiastic on a fatigue riddled face. "I did it, non stop, one thousand skeletons . . . Ha-ha . . . I . . . am . . . Good . . ." He flopped into my shoulder.

ZZZZZZZZZ

He fell asleep! He freakin fell asleep!

GRRRROWL

His stomach growled like there was no tomorrow. Oh well, I hoisted his sleeping form up bridal style. Geez, my first time with a ninja apprentice and I was off to my hotel room putting him to bed like a little kid. Yamato picked up Sai's sketch book and thumbed through the pages. He blanched which got me to guessing there were some skeletons caught in some pretty perverted poses at the end.

"You need any help Clarity-chan?" Naruto asked, back in his ninja outfit after all.

"Yeah I need you to open the door to my room for me," I laughed, "Believe it or not I'm actually putting my apprentice to bed."

Naruto gasped, "WHAT THE HECK DID HE DO? WHAT DID YOU MAKE SAI DO?"

"All I did was ask him to do some artistic training and Sai just kept training till he literally dropped." I told him, Naruto nodded and let out an empathetic snicker.

I hefted that heavy kid into my bedroom and just about threw him on my bed. Geez the kid's like what 59 kilograms? Man he sure felt heavier than he looked. All that fatigue must've weighed him down. I adjusted him a little bit and threw blankets over him.

"So . . . Hungry . . ." he whined in his sleep. Great I forgot he didn't even stop to eat, drink, or even shower for the past 24 hours. Man, it's been _forever_ since I'd done something like that. What in the heck could you provide for a guy who's so starved of . . . Well duh! I took out a sealed bowl of egg noodle soup and a Gatorade out of the mini fridge. Oh yes, the kind of thing that kept this artist alive. Electrolytes, Coffee and pre-heated leftovers period. In a stroke of mirth, I scribbled down stuff on a giant sticky note and left the note on Sai's forehead. He was sleeping like an angel albeit, a pallid fatigue riddled angel but still, an angel.

* * *

Yo, Sai!

I'm going out to find out any Uchiha leads. Have Murray contact my cell phone. Naruto might tag along. Oh and when was the last time you showered? Sai, this is an exercise not sleep deprivation training! You fell into my arms like a rock this morning snoring in tune to your growling stomach. Shower is all yours as long as the girls don't get to it first. Drink some Gatorade. Heat the soup and _eat it._ Just because I give you a nonstop challenge doesn't mean you don't stop and forget to _feed yourself._

-Toodles-

Clarity

* * *

Whelp, I left my note for Murray. Naruto, reminding me once again about his free ramen for the next night, followed me out the door. Sakura was busy probably in the kitchen and both of us agreed never to touch her healthy poison with a ten foot pole. Yamato was probably either spying on me or trailing me. I still had that tracking device in my pocket. I don't know where Arikara, Yuukihana, or Daishioryu went yet but I just knew they were either making bets on me to do something crazy again or out playing Ninja with Murray. You see Murray bought an old spy camera from a pawn shop and found out how to hook it up to the big screen T.V. in the Kazekage Tower. Problem is he also put it into the women's bathroom right when Temari was starting to admit she had a major crush on the "big baby" Shikamaru Nara. He was still running for his life today.

"Okay Naruto," I stated, "Why don't you try asking on this side of the village, I'll go to the other side and we'll meet in the middle."

"What do you want me to ask?" Naruto quipped.

"Oh just if they've seen this man," I stated handing Naruto a sexy sketch of a half naked well proportioned sixteen year old Sasuke Uchiha.

"I'm not carrying that!" He shrieked, "They'd think I was into guys or something!"

"That's why I asked Sakura to sign the corner." I toned, "Think of it this way, you get to embarrass the daylights out of her and do a good job trying to track down Sasuke at the same time."

"Ano but she's so gonna kill me," Naruto wailed with an abject squirm.

"Not when, Sai's in the middle," I interjected, "I also left him nothing to do today. He's going to get bored and rig up my art stuff with some of Sakura's medical kit and trust me when that trap goes off. She'll be too busy to see us asking around for Sasuke Okay? That is unless I suddenly don't owe you that free ramen."

"Okay Okay I'll do it," Naruto snapped before yelling, "HAS ANYONE SEEN THIS DUDE!"

I decided to mosey on over to a local park. What I didn't expect was to practically have a certain someone just near walk off of that family photo I found in Sasuke's house. Okay a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it be to meet someone's supposedly evil older brother just chilling out on some park bench in Suna? In my mind close to zero, but as soon as I hit the park bench a pair of onyx eyes watched me. He seemed to appear in a whirl of swirling crows. I knew that the Itachi Uchiha was one heck of a genjutsu user but why in the heck does he run around in some black cloak with swirling with red clouds. Does he suddenly want to say here I am shoot me? What the heck do these Akatsuki wear now a days? I don't know.

He flopped down on the bench, kicked back, and rubbed the sweat from his eyes with a sigh. Then here I am staring bugged eyed at some guy who practically placed a target on his behind just by coming here. Heck is he real? Is he an illusion? There was one way to find out.

"Ow!" He screeched, as I gave his cheek a sharp pull. He felt real but what satisfied me was his reaction. A ninja using their Jutsu wouldn't give off such animated facial expressions unless they were a hot head like Naruto. Itachi was supposed to be some hard core ninja so at least even I could tell he just decided to take a break for some odd reason or another.

"Ouch!" He yelped and yanked my hand away, "What was that for?"

"Curiosity," I beamed, "Oh yeah have you heard of a guy named ah . . . Sasuke . . . By any chance?"

"Well no," He lied, "He sure does remind me of a brother I once knew."

I offered him some iced coffee, and he just chugged my whole entire thermos! I mean do you even know how strong I _like my coffee_? It's enough to wake the dead! Itachi keeps himself mellow but first he's tapping his foot. He fidgets here and wiggles there. Next thing I know is the park bench we're sitting on is vibrating by point five Itachi quake.

"Ummmm . . ." Itachi hummed his foot was nervously drumming, "Do you know where a bathroom is?"

"Nope," I stated matter of factly, though the fact we could hear running water all over the park and see kids have a water fight at the fountain (must be expensive in this climate). Itachi was fidgety more than ever now.

"Okay," I asked, "What kind of food traumatized him as a kid."

"Oh Extra Spicy Curry!" He blabbed, "Now _are _you sure you don't know WHERE THERE'S A BATHROOM! Good grief the guy's down at a restaurant on the edge of town!"

I pointed the way to the bathroom. I've never seen a man waddle so fast in all my life.

Well Itachi's info paid off. I met Naruto who told me about a bunch of girls gushing about a guy who ducked into a curry restaurant in town. It was too bad Itachi was a convict though I mean the guy's actually pretty amiable compared to his brother. Sasuke stalked right into the building. He shoved a poor passed out man out into the street to take his seat before we came in. I just could not believe those two were brothers! Itachi actually, well at least he gave me the time of day. Sasuke scoffed, ordered some tomato smoothie and didn't even turn around. Heck, I didn't see what anyone else saw in the guy besides some pretty face and mad ninja skills. Good grief, if it were me acting all big and bad like that, I'd have my throat slit period.

"SASUKEEEE!" Naruto screamed charging through the door.

YANK

WHUMPF

I had to grab that lummox by the shirt collar before he embarrassed me even further. Crowds of shady looking customers were laughing at us already! Many of them I could already tell by a glance would invite nothing but trouble. I planted my iron grip on Naruto's throat and steered him through. Sasuke barely cocked an eye brow.

"Naruto," Sasuke snorted, "When did you get a girlfriend?"

"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND TEME!" Naruto roared, "She's more like my annoying older sister."

"You never had an older sister Dobe." Sasuke hissed. Okay this was getting old.

"Hey you _Squirt," _I crooned causing Sasuke's eye to twitch. I jammed a finger on his forehead in the same way Itachi used to do when Sasuke was knee high to a grasshopper, "You know I'm sitting right here don't you Squirt?"

"Where the _hell _did you learn to do that?" Sasuke seethed, sweeping off his forehead.

"From Itachi-kun," I beamed, "Where else?"

All color in Naruto's face drained till he looked like he was made of milky alabaster. Sasuke gripped his glass, knuckles turning white. Man if anything I found out from Itachi, it's actually a combo of all kinds of things that set him off. I already knew Naruto's next question before his eyes turned crimson.

"Look I just met at the park over coffee, we're not _that _close but you know he's kind of complicated," I mused before turning to Sasuke, "He talks quite lovingly about you. He sounds like he still loves you like a brother you know."

"He doesn't love me," Sasuke seethed uh-oh something flamed and glowing was slowly crawling across his face. Itachi did tell me that Orochimaru cursed him with a heaven seal but trying to resist that curse mark is truly Hades on earth, "He killed everyone precious to me. How could some crock pot orphans like you two even know what it feels like to lose everything. No friends, No family, I have nothing. NOTHING! You don't even know have of what I go through."

I let him yell. I let him rave. I let him rant. Then I slowly and calmly replied, "I know much more than what you think."

"Don't count me out Sasuke," Naruto glowered, "I pretty much know a lot about you too."

"Oh yeah?" He scoffed flipping back arms crossed, "Enlighten me."

"You've been taking steroids, been working with a sword since age 13, at 14 you broke your arm in exactly three equal places." I started.

"At age 12 you put too much chakra into most of your exercises and literally launched yourself off the ground," Naruto scoffed, "Good grief I was even there at the land of waves and when you asked me for advice I basically told you 'screw you'."

"At 14, you mastered your curse seal but not with adverse effects," I stated, "You were already up at one point coughing blood because the Gamma Hydroxybutilate in your system was causing your own immune system to attack itself every time your heaven seal activated."

Sasuke stood up almost immediately raging, "How could you know that about me!"

"It is written right," I snarled grabbing his wrist, "HERE! In the very body you're abusing to gain power! You expressed aggressive behavior when you walked in today. You've got a yellow orchre tinge in your skin and eyes! There are three bumps where your arm healed with little to no med help because your pride refused it. Besides the biggest thing are the stretch marks on every exposed part of your skin showing rapid muscle growth. You say we know nothing but Naruto's known you longer than me and it's written all over your face Squirt; every last bit of it."

"All over my face hmm?" Sasuke chuckled madly, "Anabolically infected am I?"

The whole feel of the room became a hundred degrees colder. People were starting to stare. Oh boy, if it's this easy to get him so angry. I wonder what could get him to scream.

"Ha-ha!" Naruto pointed at Sasuke and openly laughed, "You sound like Yoda when you're on drugs!"

AHHHHHHHH!

"You know there's a lot of people in Konoha who miss you," I chirped, "Let's make a bet. Whoever can hold down the most food wins? You win we leave you alone, for now. If Naruto and/or _I_ win; then you'll have to finally admit to me that you _will_ come back to Konoha someday or at least crash on my couch whether you like it or not."

"You're on!" Sasuke growled.

Well it was Curry night so I ordered, "Three house specials of your Curry of Life kind chef and put it on Mr. Cart's tab since he said he'll do anything for Sasuke-sama. Oh and one kind of large glass of milk for me please?"

I gave Naruto a glance and signed over Sasuke's shoulder in pig Latin. A huge grin plastered itself across his face. Naruto knew what I was doing being a master of pranks himself. I knew what I was doing getting a jar of Murray's special recipe pickled jabanero peppers out my art bag. Okay, I planned to sneak a couple into Naruto's ramen bowl just as payback for him putting Sai's pencil shavings in my coffee (yuck). Still it's harmless right?

Meanwhile, the Rogue three were ducking Temari's wrath by hanging out at a back table nursing a few soda pops. Arikara was up on the table cheering on the eating contest we had started while Naruto and Sasuke were making messy pigs of themselves. Yuukihana looked like she wanted to crawl under the table, seeing as everyone else was placing bets on who would hurl first be it the disgruntled artist, the blabber mouthed bottomless pit, or the raven haired dupe with a stick up his pants. Daishioryu pretended to look uninterested as he kicked back and took a quick mental note that I was sneaking Yamato's little tracking device into Sasuke's 75th plate along with half a jar of spicy pickled jabaneros.

My cell phone started singing the song "Cheer Up Emo Kid" before I went to answer it. I was busy savoring my one plate of extreme curry. I mean first bite I already guzzled half my milk. Still a little bite of the devilish dish between a bite of rice and a sip of milk actually makes it taste pretty good. No wonder Lee loves the stuff but then again with his figure you'd never see him as quite the gourmand taking after his teacher. There was rarely a food he didn't love especially Sakura's cooking though he cries almost every time he eats it; must be a high metabolism but oh well.

"Mushi Mushi this is Dairy Queen how may I help you?" I answered earning a familiar chortle on the other side of the phone, yup it was Yamato, "May I take your order sir? We have one raven haired belly ache with a tracking pot probed into him. Follow the dude and you find the den of the white frosty. Thank you and bye-bye."

By this time now, even Naruto was beginning to slow down. Sure a slight stomach ache but not one you couldn't walk off. He reeled back with an extraordinary burp. Sasuke, the stubborn cuss, just kept eating and eating and he was still eating! He probably ate two to three times his own body weight, my body weight, and Naruto's body weight combined. He was going nonstop full throttle until . . . He froze.

UNNNN

FLOP

All that food he ate finally sank to his stomach. He doubled over, fell off his chair clutching his stomach woozy from too much food yet crying at the same time. Man no wonder extra spicy curry traumatized him as a kid. Still he was not out of the woods yet. The bet was on how much a person could hold down, and judging by the way he was wobbling to the door; he looked like he'd lose it any second now. A bunch of customers jumped out of the way to avoid Sasuke decorating their shoes with . . . Stuff.

Yamato's face barely materialized from the wooden wall after Sasuke lunged heavily out the door. That raven-haired mess slogged out about ten feet. He turned on his heel clutching his stomach; fetal position. Oh but wait, someone was coming so instead of looking all wimpy Sasuke decided to suddenly stand and get caught in a dizzy spell making him turn several shades of Viridian green.

"My my Sasuke," a white haired young man chided, he wore the ninja version of a U.S. nurse's smock and had a hitai-ate with a scribbly musical note on it, the coal eyes behind his glasses showed the disdained mirth of someone who used corpses as decoy ducks, "Where have you been . . . _Squirt_ . . . Orochimaru's waiting for you." Oh good grief has that dude been there the whole time? He must've had a back table or something. They just about melted into the sunlight.

"So Yamato," I asked knowing that Sasuke and his creepy palsy were well out of ear shot, "Do you think this'll be as good a time as any to trail him? Oh and who was the weirdo?"

"Kabuto Yakushi," answered Yamato as he adjusted his little radio, "Orochimaru's right hand man/errand boy, now will you go find some place to lay low Clarity? I don't think trailing people with that throwing arm is your strong suit."

Yes it's true I can't trail people like a ninja. I'm also not good at following orders either. Something worried me, and I had to find out. As soon as Yamato's wood clone was out of the way, I jogged after the disappearing pair. If Kabuto was Orochimaru's right hand man then why did he send someone so important after some kid who binged on curry?

Naruto ran up beside me, no use stopping him, out of the group everybody was all more . . . uh . . . warrior proficient than I am.

"What are you doing here Clarity?" Naruto quipped, "Yamato-taichou _told_ you to stay back."

"Okay," I toned, "Then why did Kabuto get sent after Sasuke? What's so special about him?" The sun was blazing, sweat started to pour but something about this situation gave me the creeps. I needed more information.

"He's Orochimaru's next vessel." Naruto spat, "Or does the word legendary Sannin not ring a bell?"

That stopped me dead in my tracks. Something was even more off. How did Sasuke end up in Suna? Why was I asking myself all this? Yet how come Naruto was being . . . reasonable? Usually he's the king of hissy fits!

I needed to think of something, something only he and I share which is actually quite hard, he's obnoxious and everyone knows him. He's so obvious. I'm obvious too for that matter. Everyone already knows me at my worst. So what does him and I know that the rest of them don't? My mind kept going back to the Kyuubi, the ramen stand, and finally the time on the . . . the bridge. An idea came to mind.

"Okay Naruto," I breathed, "Why did you need me in the first place? What Pervert were we talking about?"

"Pervert?" Naruto asked; eyes were calculating, _bingo _that's definitely not the Naruto I know! I grabbed a piece of brick and threw full throttle!

WA-BAM

The fake Naruto reeled from my curve ball. In a puff of smoke it turned out to be none other than Kabuto, that creep! He reeled but steadied himself a little. He rose his head only slightly with a killer's smirk. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Laughter purred from his icy throat.

"So you're the one the Hokage hired," Kabuto crooned, "Are you artist number 26? I'm surprised you even made it this far."

"Cut the small talk!" I growled, "WHERE'S NARUTO?!"

"Oh who, your little friend?" Kabuto laughed, "He's still asking for answers on the other side of town. Still, it's shocking you could even make complete strangers like the Uchihas act so foolish. What with the toxins and performance drugs still running rampant in his system. We were trying to make sure he got those all out but you made the bet and well . . . he refuses to lose."

Toxins, steroids, and who knows what else is in his system? I clutched my stomach. My eyes wide in horror at what I'd done. No, no, no way can I let it end here. I'm no doctor but I can't let some dude suffer. Not when it's my fault and the painting is probably there too but no time for that! I had to see someone else first.

"Take me to Orochimaru's hideout Kabuto!" I yelled grabbing kabuto by the scruff of his shirt shaking him like a rag doll, "You're not going to kill me _now_ or _ever._ You're going to take me to him NOW!"

Hands closed around my throat as the chemical fumes went through my nostrils. _Chloroform_, great, he was going to take me whether I want to or not. Sure, every nerve in me wanted to fight. Yet I was worried. Naruto wanted Sasuke to come back alive. He looked to him as a brother and I can't kill another living human. I just can't.

* * *

**Coming up . . .**

**Chapter 12: Crouching Ninja Hidden Artist: **This chapter's a real doozy. What'll be Orochimaru's impression of Clarity? Sasuke is already having a hard time after binging on curry, and Kabuto gets framed. Stay tuned to find out.


	13. Chapter 12:Crouching Ninja Hidden Artist

**Author's Note:** I don't own Naruto, I just write this for fun. :D

**

* * *

Clarity in Konoha**

**Chapter 12: Crouching Ninja Hidden Artist**

Oh maaaan my head, how long was I out? I opened my eyes only to struggle and find myself tied to a chair with ropes no less and for what? Demanding I see the idiot who lets whoever trained him break at least several social service rules on his student's god complex hide. The room I'm in is so tomblike, but adequately lit enough by candlelight in certain areas. I set my head back against a curly q patterned sandstone wall. The damp earth under my feet felt like Granite or deep marble. The smell of death is just so perceptible but that horrible thing that stood before me made my life flash in front of my eyes!

The dude that just walked through the doorway was so ghost white against his plain brown garb he glowed in the dark! Maybe it was the chloroform making everything fuzzy but his eyes glowed bright yellow surrounded by snakelike lilac markings. He leaned forward with an amused little smile. The breath of (_ewww) _cough syrup and cad liver oil assaulted my face. Dude does this guy ever rinse his mouth much? His should cut his shoulder length black locks.

"You look like a hippy." I whined, "and you need a stinking breath mint. Good grief." I moaned. Surprise slackened his features. He slowly propped my forehead up with his finger. Great he must be looking at that faint scar where Arikara put a shadow through my head at the Uchiha compound. Wonder what Sasuke would feel to know his own back yard's been blown to smithereens? Still I was the prisoner and that look of sparkly wonder on this dude was creepy! It was the same look Jiraiya had when he found the back door to the bath house only in the creepy hippy's case it was more gaining dibs on a disection table.

"Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto called out from the door way making said creepy hippy turn in answer to his name, "Sasuke is ready to train but he looks a little sick what do you want to do about him."

Orochimaru was pondering for a moment and I had a sudden urge to stretch my legs. I struggled to the left. I wobbled to the right. Hey, I found the knot! I just about had my hands free when my foot flew.

WHACK

"Ahhhh Gods!" Orochimaru hissed doubling over from my foot kicking his manly parts or lack thereof. Kabuto was trying not to chuckle as Orochimaru wheezed. He pointed to me and snarled between gasps, "You . . . are . . . _wheeze_ . . . dead woman!"

"What?" I yelped, "I didn't feel anything down there!" I was already yanking on the ropes, gads it's been forever since I did macramé. What was this? A capuchin knot or a noose knot, I felt up the rope, nope just a cruddy monkey fist and I _am_ the _master of the monkey_.

"Well," Kabuto coughed he seemed hurried, "I see you're busy with something so I might as well go and see about Sasuke since he's . . . out of commission today."

"Good you go and see about my Sasuke then," Orochimaru chirruped with a dismissive wave. Was Sasuke a hand bag or a pet? Hmmm maybe he's the new body bag fall line. "I'll see about the Harp-eek!"

SMASH

I bashed Orochimaru over the head with the chair before scoffing, "That's for calling me the H-word thank you and yes, I'll love to help Kabuto see your pet _handbag_ to his room."

Kabuto balked, Sasuke was in too poor a shape to notice me scoop him up onto my back, and smoothlycarry him down the corridor. Then I realized, hello, direction alert! I had no clue where I was going. I could've swung around but that'd have been messy. Sasuke was sick enough as it is.

"Put me down," Sasuke demanded, "I don't need help."

"Fine sure whatever," I stated, and just to add emphasis, I dropped him.

FOMPF

"So you gonna move yet?" I asked, Sasuke death-glared as he struggled to stand and flopped. No problem, I deserved it since his bloating tummy ache was my fault to begin with. His glare felt like nothing compared to an art critic anyway.

I scooped him up in as smooth as fashion possible piggy back style. Sasuke, a bit put out, finally wrapped his arms around my neck out of spite. Good grief, if I let Kabuto shoulder the boy, he'd surely hurl. Kabuto being more AB blood type with a sadistic humor and high value of politeness hated my take charge attitude.

"You know you should pay Orochimaru-sama more respect," Kabuto politely interjected, was that killing intent I felt, well it couldn't be any bigger than the vein on his forehead, "You are his prisoner and I know you'd hate to see me angry. I wonder where'd all this strength suddenly came from? Are you sure you're not a ninja?"

"Are you sure you don't know the way to Sasuke's room?" I asked adjusting my grip on Sasuke a little, does he actually weigh 115 pounds? "Though; unless that hippy actually does something with his hair and stop treating the majority of his underlings like dirt, he's going find me very hard to handle."

Kabuto was laughing as he pushed his glasses up again. What did he think this was a mind game? He went leading the way. Sasuke pouted, obviously, even though he was turning moss green, he still hated accepting help from a stranger. I was humming, I may be a prisoner but I don't have be moping. Ah well, Kabuto was playing a mind game, I was bored, and at least I could work my brain today.

"So this architecture," I asked, "It looks like ancient desert art. Are we still in Suna?"

"That is a secret," Kabuto toned, "What part of secret hideout do you not get?"

"Oh oh what about the granite flooring? Where'd the builders get granite? Did you use a special jutsu? What part of the human body gets the most damage when hit by a jutsu? Wait, didn't we just pass Sasuke's room? You know what's really stupid? Why didn't that yeller bellied snake promote Sasuke to a chunin? He's so gifted yet he's dead last genin! Seriously, for some body-swapping weirdo, why doesn't he plan ahead or at least keep his health up?" I kept asking and asking, peppering him with so many questions that Kabuto was starting to pinch his nose at the oncoming headache. I could almost feel that killing aura come off him in waves. I smiled, since I love research, it's easy to find so many questions to ask.

"Then what about you?" Kabuto asked, "Where'd you get those deep-"

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

Hooray! I got saved by the Sasuke! I guess it must've been pretty boring listening to me talk? He still looked like a guacamole face but I have to admit, it was kind of nice to see him sleeping and getting bored like a typical teenager. If Kabuto ever found out about those scars I got from protecting Naruto, I know the whole team of ninjas I'm working with will be screwed! Sasuke slumped forward for me to notice a little mark in his shirt collar; that curse mark! Grrrr, how I suddenly wished I could hammer Orochimaru.

"You know before I-"

"That's enough Kabuto!" I countered, I wanted to rip him apart with my bare hands, but I'm not the killer type, "Is Sasuke's room this way?"

He let me in and left me alone with the kid. Well that's what it's supposed to seem like. I could feel Kabuto's killing intent from behind the door. So he thought I was too rude for my own good. Well, I couldn't care less. I set Sasuke down on the bed and took a look at the sparse place, granite floors, candlelight, a bed, a bed stand, and that was basically it. I couldn't help but feel jealous of him.

"Why?" I asked the darkness, "Why would you give up everything just to chase such a cold blooded dream?"

"Like I said before," Sasuke moaned as he began to stir, "You orphans know nothing! I had those ties and I lost them. How could you-"

"Feel pain and loneliness," I asked, I leaned in the doorway covering Kabuto's line of sight, "How did you know I was even an orphan? It takes one to know one. Did I even know my mom and dad? No, but I know you Sasuke just by looking at you." I came back finally admitting, "Sasuke, I'm envious, sometimes I wish I at least had a brother."

"I HATE HIM," he yelled, "HE KILLED MY FAMILY! HE TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!"

Then he almost threw up. Molten colors swirled across his face. Before I knew it I was at his side rubbing his back in small circles. I was wiping the hair away from his face. I'd only seen this done between a mother and child. Painful memories flared in his eyes. Sasuke slapped me away.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" he yelled.

"Ah C'mon," I crooned.

". . . Just . . . Leave . . ." Sasuke huffed and that was the last thing he ever said to me before Kabuto led me back to my own little dungeon with a bed at least.

I don't know if it was morning, my cell phone said it was three a.m. same time I always get up. Still I had to find a bathroom. Sure living in a candlelit dungeon, it was no wonder Sasuke and Orochimaru were so pale. Yet you'd think they'd have the decency to point to a stupid bathroom! I wandered the candlelit corridors, thanking whoever built this for not putting in fish ponds with fountain tops.

"C'mon Sasuke, let's work through this again," Orochimaru purred though it sounded more like a hiss.

Sasuke stoically stood forward. He rushed his sensei. Orochimaru took a step back. Sasuke fell flat on his face clutching his curry filled stomach. Man, he must've felt like a bloated tick. He could barely crawl. Orochimaru looked disappointed.

"You know Sasuke," Orochimaru sighed, "You shouldn't have made that bet with the . . ."

THUD

"DON'T CALL ME A HARPY LADY!" I roared tossing around a piece of plaster in my good hand. Orochimaru turned on his heel. I dived as a snake slithered out his mouth. The snake opened up with a blade. I grabbed the snake by the head and chucked it.

F-TONGGGG

The snake sword like thing was dangling from a wall. Orochimaru had a kunai at my throat. Oh crud, he had that sparkly wonder look in his eye. His skin touched my . . . EWWWW!

"Get off of me you pervert!" I squealed, Orochimaru was laughing, good grief it was the creepiest sound ever! Still this was his haunt and I had no one else to ask.

"Do you know where the bathroom is?" I hissed, "because suddenly I feel the urge to wash off really, really bad."

"Oh that's just down this corridor," Orochimaru pointed out with a wraith like hand pointing this way and that, "past the laboratory across the dissection room and to the right where I keep organs floating in jars."

The nasty sights I saw going through there made me queasy. Good thing I always eat a little light. The laboratory had some freaky humanoids stuck in tanks. Many of them just stared. The Dissection room, errrgh, it gave me the willies. Yet why does Orochimaru keep organs floating in jars? I know he's obsessed with forbidden jutsu and is the mad scientist of the ninja world but his home sure could use a woman's touch, particularly Martha Stuart's™. Oh well, I was bored, and after I freshened up, (including instant coffee) I decided to clean house.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Kabuto yelled, I squeaked almost dropping a jar of intestines or at least I think that's what they were.

"I'm cleaning house," I remarked, shrugged my shoulders and opened up a cupboard before asking, "Is this where it goes?"

I was asking the floating staring Humanoids. Many of them nodded yes. I placed the Jar with the others and closed the cupboard door. I already mopped up the laboratory, talked shop with humanoids, and even did something about the _disgusting dissection room_. I turned it into a lounge! Okay, it still had that giant dissection table but with a little spot welding it made an excellent coffee table. I shoved the cleaning supplies in his chest and locked myself in the bathroom.

"KABUTOOOOOO!" Orochimaru screeched, I got out of my clothes and hid in the pond they'd used for a tub. I did make sure to put my clothes in my art bag and put my ninja boots by the door. I'm not going to jump into a bunch water with my clothes on. As soon as the sounds of Kabuto screaming in pain and agony died down. I was just about to crawl out when Sasuke broke the door down!

BASH

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh," I screamed throwing the soap.

SLIP

THUD

Sasuke face planted straight into the toilet. I slipped past him hovering in his blind spot as I got dressed. I jammed my foot into my ninja boot and lost balance. Too bad about the landing. I bumped into Sasuke. Sasuke bumped into the toilet.

KLANG

"Oh no Sasuke, I'm sooooo sorry," I pleaded, "Please say something." Sasuke's eyes were little swirls when I took his head out of the toilet.

"Ommp," Sasuke gulped, he was just about to unload his stomach when he saw me. He gave me the evilest eye.

"Don't think this makes me forget our little bet." Sasuke scoffed and stomped away only to collapse by the door. I took a step forward only to see Kabuto suddenly beat me to the punch. He sure looks funny with a broken nose and boxed ears.

Sasuke, however, wasn't looking so good. Labored breathing is a bad sign right? Kabuto leaned closely checking for signs of life. He chided as he rubbed a hand over Sasuke's perspiring brow. Then it hit me; the toxins! There was still a load of steroids in his system but the other symptoms looked kind of familiar; dry cough and as I crept forward I brushed a finger across his hand and HOLY COW THAT'S BURNNING HOT!

"Well congratulations lady," Kabuto announced like I just won the booby prize, "it looks like my experimental drugs crossed with a bloating curry binge has given Sasuke the flu. I just don't know if it's H1-N1 or something else I'll have to run some gruesome tests."

"Couldn't you do a vaccine or some kind of ordinary medicine?" I innocently asked but inside I was panicking. This was my fault and I'm not going to have some guy die because of me.

"No," Kabuto replied, "Unless you want Sasuke to die of a drug overdose I suggest you be the one to drag him to his room. There's no hope for him this time. He'll have to pull through this on his own in quarantine."

"You can't do that!" Orochimaru and I cried out but for two separate reasons. We glared at each other and growled.

"Who are you to care about my next vessel?" He hissed.

"Right now I'm a lot tougher than you'll ever be." I snarled before turning to Kabuto, "Quarantine me with him too."

Kabuto seemed surprised but smirked at the exponential research opportunity. I scooped Sasuke up in my arms as gently as I could manage. He sure wasn't as heavy as Sai but he still felt like a ton of bricks. Orochimaru was seething but knew if he let me stay in danger he'd be in the clear, cold hearted snake, at least he could care for his students! Oh Kabuto was _so_ not going to like my next words to him.

"Oh and Kabuto," I warned, "Quarantine from here Sasuke's room too. I know you've got more than one place for research. I just want to make sure you _steer clear_. I'll take care of him myself. Don't forget to corner off that kitchenette no one's using too."

Kabuto was fuming! It served him right. I had enough of his mind games. Orochimaru, also not worth my time; he's _gross_. What worried me though was the big shivering bundle in my arms. I know Sasuke's a snot, and no matter how many people coo over him he's still just an icy mask of evil emo-ness. Seeing him now though, I didn't see a ninja, what I saw was a sixteen year old boy who suddenly had less than he started out with. At least in Konoha people had offered him a home. Now, as far as I could tell, I was seeing some guy with nothing better to do than train and stalk around while his teacher talks about him like a Gucci handbag.

Good grief, at least if I ever had any semblance of family besides just Murray, at least they wouldn't have to work to earn my recognition. Bonds for me still felt kind of weird. It was good to feel needed but this . . . This rejection to my offer of help to my trust when he just slapped me away? It broke my heart. No chance left untaken and no regrets. I have a chance to do something! Problem is what next?


	14. Chapter 13: Broken Bonds Wrath of Clari

**Author's Note: **I don't own Naruto or the Rogue Three (OC of Devonna look it up as dragonspirt on youtube). I write this for fun. :D

**

* * *

Clarity in Konoha**

**Chapter 13: Broken Bonds; Faith of friends**

"I'm here alright," I murmured, not that Sasuke would care but it was really to reassure myself, "I'm here, I'm here, I care and I'm here."

I felt so afraid. Seeing another human being suffer like this is the only thing that's ever made me cry. I couldn't think, I had to do something, anything! I pulled the bedside table over and pulled out scraps of cloth I got from cleaning house. I don't know what unfortunate human these belonged to but it made no difference now. I pulled out a needle and thread from my art bag. My fingers nervously threading and sewing away was hard to see through my bubbling tears. Just doing something in the same room as another person was a way to show you were there right?

Probably a thousand miles away was another soul that waited, watched, and worried. Naruto was waiting right where we said we'd meet but I didn't meet him there for probably a day and a night now. The desert stars illuminated a wide blind search party that was calling out into the darkness. Naruto, as a man of his word, stubbornly waited in the middle of town. He held my sketch of Sasuke like it was a family heirloom. Maybe that was because of two things it held, my talent and the face of someone he hoped to find no matter what.

It wasn't until Sai stirred from bed that they knew where I ran off to. He came down Gatorade in one hand, soup in the other, and plopped down next to Naruto on the roof. How do I know all this? Well Naruto had to file his reports to the Hokage every time we made it back to the village. I was nothing but an editor, but with the way Naruto writes I could piece together a lot of what was going on while I was gone simply from a talent of dealing with places and people. Believe me this is as close as I can get to sounding like them without being there to hear it all first hand.

"So, did you find any leads on where Harpy Lady went?" Sai asked before he got a fist inches from his face.

"She's not a harpy lady!" Naruto snapped, "She's . . . I just don't know what she is anymore? I've just got this . . . feeling . . . that she's already helped me down along the line somewhere before but I don't know why!"

Sai, being Sai, let his "mirth mask" drop a bit. Naruto, I can already say this can tell when a person's hiding something. The next thing Sai stared into as soon as he looked up was a pair of flashing cerulean eyes. He could've about dropped his soup when he put it down. He reached into the bag on his back and pulled out a leather bound book. It was supposed to be a sketch book but for me that was my travelogue, my diary. I had been scribbling my heart in that tattered leather bound book ever since I could remember. I never let anyone read that particular diary.

Sai turned to the pages I sketched of before and after Naruto about blew up the Uchiha district and especially to the lifelike picture of me, hugging Naruto where we got shish-ka-bobbed between two jutsus. Oh and let's not forget how Naruto clawed up my back while he was in the four tails state.

"Ummm," Sai didn't know what to say, I mean this was my diary he stole after all, "Naruto I know no one's shown you this but this is what you looked like before and after the Four Tails State."

Naruto's grip on my Sasuke sketch tightened. It smudged the graphite and died his knuckle white fists black with smudges. Sai waited before Naruto exploded and turned to the next page. This one I actually enjoyed doing. It happened a lot lately, meeting Naruto at six A.M. and/or six pm at Ichiraku's Ramen Bar. The next page after that however was private. (I'M SO GOING TO THROTTLE SAI FOR THIS!)

My private sketch was already moments I considered precious. It was the closest thing I had to a family photograph but it was a hand inked bit of Team Kakashi, Team Kurenai and all the other ninjas I've met so far in the villages. The sand sibs were another group added in last minute. I always put stupid little comments on my private stuff such as the little brother comment I put over Naruto's hand drawn head. Of course, when Sai heard I was missing he did what any ninja would do. Except if he was going to do recon, HE SHOULDN'T HAVE RAIDED MY PANTY DRAWR! Jeez at least he had the decency not to put a bra on his head. That's only a move I'd expect from Naruto when he's feeling devilish.

Naruto grabbed my diary and started flipping through pages. He was so busy looking through all my private personal . . . eh . . . pictures (Tsunade naked, Kakashi eh-heh a little more than maskless) but I'm an artist I tend to look beyond what I see in front of me. Naruto almost nose bled at the sketch of bikini babes. That was until he noticed a map I did in the middle of the book. It, sort of, fell into his lap.

"Hey Sai what's this?" He asked handing the paper to Sai, being the ninja I know he is, he didn't hesitate to answer.

"That's a map of Sunagakure," Sai answered, he went back to eating the soup.

"Okay, then what are all these scribbled boxes in orange?" he pointed out, actually that was Cadmium red but hey this is Naruto's perspective not mine.

Sai thought for a moment before it hit him, "I think that's where Clarity might be."

"Eh?!" Naruto gaped.

"Claire-sensei lets me study her research as a way to further my training or as she puts it," Sai took a long swig of Gatorade before doing a henge jutsu into me and imitate my very words, "So you actually understand me and not kill me, comprende?"

Naruto about laughed off the roof of that one. Of course, trust Sai to do a dead pan impression of his art sensei. Sai changed back. Naruto's face got serious. His eyes narrowed as he held up my diary, the map, and asked, "What does this have to do with Clarity?"

Of course while Sai was explaining all my research urging the other ninja boot to drop. I was busily engrossed in my needlework. I felt like doing dragons today and stuck these on a kind of short but stout neck chains. One was entwined in an Uchiha crest which snapped me out of my trance. I guess it couldn't hurt to check the still sleeping Sasuke.

I put my needlework down on the table only to squeak. Sasuke was just staring the same way his brother did, almost like a predator. I mean yeah all those fan girls would find it so exotic. Me; I found it unnerving. Good grief, the guy has the ego of an Arabian stud horse with the attitude of a donkey sometimes. I guess growing up alone with nothing but your pride and prestigious heritage to stand on can do that to a guy. Did he ever have a _realistic _father growing up? Well not really, look how well Sasuke's brother turned out. I put my needlework away to face the "last Uchiha" himself knowing that if neither of us set up any ground rules fast, we'd kill each other in no time guaranteed.

"Okay Sasuke," I soothed yet in the same firm voice I used a lot with Sai lately, "Here are a few things you are going to have to learn under my wing."

"Learn from you?" He scoffed but he coughed, "What am I ever going to learn from-OWOWOWOWOWO OWWWWW!"

I pulled his cheek, it's not child abuse around here in the ninja world no social service yuppies here any who. Still I answered, "First things FIRST Uchiha, you're going to learn respect! Your clan is only as good as its people and if you're going to hn and haw with that stick up your pants and prattle at me with that tongue. I'll show you no mercy, because where I come from if you don't even have manners you wouldn't even have friends so drop that attitude Squirt. You've been quarantined with me for an indefinite period of time." I mentally kicked myself, I sounded like someone's prattling mama.

"What!" Sasuke seethed, "Why am I stuck with you? Where's Kabuto?"

"I told him he can kiss my sit-upon because I don't like him and Orochimaru can go kiss a snake!" I replied, "Second thing you'll be learning under my wing is the lessons of being nice. Yeah I know you want to rebuild your clan but without your prestige, pennies, and puppy face. Will any woman have the stomach to settle down with a cold hearted man like you?"

"I-I-I'm not cold hearted!" he stuttured, face softening, taken on the kicked puppy look without the famous Uchiha pout, "The ladies love me!"

"Hm-mmm hm-mmm yeah, suuuuure," I drawled rolling my eyes, "Don't scowl at me like that you're turning into your father." Ah-ha-ha you should've seen the color drain from his face! It was priceless. I've known even adults let alone clan heirs that fear turning into their parents.

"Oh and third thing," I lectured, since these are the ground rules I'm saying here, "You are going to learn is how . . . to . . . swallow . . . your . . . _pride_."

"I'm never going to swallow my pride," Sasuke sneered, hmmm so how do I make this to where a ninja can understand?

"You know, Naruto's already better than you," I stated as a verbal trap since many learn by example, "I've already been with him just barely a few weeks and Naruto is already a better person than you'll ever be."

"WHAT?!" Sasuke roared. He bound out of bed and crumpled to the floor. Man I can't believe his biggest button is a superiority complex. That curse mark was already glowing across his face. I leaned forward and just to make my point clear about how to swallow your pride.

"Sasuke," I crooned and gently took him by the shoulder, "say it."

"No," he snapped.

"Say it."

"Bite me!"

"Say it."

"Leave me alone!"

"Alright fine then," I countered, "I will."

I turned and went to the door when I heard a pathetic whine. Great, this is where the hard part comes in. He suddenly curled up. He looked so helpless like a little orphaned bunny rabbit. No, no NO, I have to keep my eyes straight ahead. Don't turn around. Just keep walking and slowly close the door.

"Wait," Sasuke whined, I whipped around in shock! An Uchiha was whining? Meh, go figure.

"Yes?" I asked my voice polite and neutral.

"May I have some . . . Aurgh . . . Anoooo," Sasuke moaned clutching his curry filled stomach, "Can I have some help up please? I . . . Ugh . . . I-I. . . can't . . . can't move."

"Okay," I answered, "I'll help, oh and sorry about that."

"For what," he asked without all the attitude he had before. Man with as sick as he was, I literally had to roll him a little. I mean he wasn't fat, but I wasn't going to squeeze around the middle either.

"I'm sorry for making you so sick," I stated, "I know we got off on the wrong foot and besides I want to get along with the people I care about. Just call me Clarity."

He cocked an eyebrow scoffing, "Well, you already know my name but why would care about me? I'm a missing nin of Konohagakure, I doubt anyone would care about me."

"I doubt anyone would be as complex as your brother," I scoffed back, "No offense, I know you don't really like the guy but as much as a mass murderer as he is. He still cares for those he left behind even though he did say himself he abandoned everything. As for me, I'm straight forward. I envy people who actually know their mom and dads. I've been unwanted since the day I was born. Every one of my talents are hard won."

Sasuke let this sink in for a moment. He fingered the bedding I tucked up around him. Of course, being a guy who had it then lost it, he'd find it hard to see himself growing up with nothing. So how do I make it easier to explain? What kind of thing do we have in common.

"You remember how awful the Uchiha compound was like after the massacre?" I asked, which Sasuke had the politeness to shudder, "That's the first memory I have. The memory of loneliness, of cold, and the envy I had watching the other kids with their friends, moms and dads."

Okay _. . . awkward . . . _I never shared that memory with anyone before. It's one of the _personal _pages in my diary. Worse, I think I made Sasuke mad again. He gripped his sheets, curse mark pulsating, and he looked suddenly ready to kill someone. I found my needlework project on the bed and tossed it to him. Sasuke caught them both in one hand, studying the tags a little. It might've been subtle but his eyes lit up at the design.

"Wait," Sasuke asked, "How do you know this kind of stitch, I haven't seen this since Mom . . ." He trailed off. Great here we go again.

"During my travels I do a lot of research," I sighed, I didn't know whether to be proud my art could touch someone's heart or kick myself for hurting someone's feelings yet again, "I've traveled my whole life and just now I've set up an art shop. You're welcome to come in and crash on my couch whenever you like."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed at this supposedly too good to be true deal.

"Ah c'mon, I care about you, you already traveled half as much as I did, and it irks me that you look like death warmed over, either that or Manda starts wearing a dress and make up," I blathered, "Whatever seems more irk . . . E . . . er . . . Er-er-er."

I shut off my cell phone before the ring tone "cheer up emo kid" started rearing its ugly head. I was already having _fun. _Mr. Ice Mask Sasuke was actually loosening up a smidge. His eyes actually glittered when he smiled. Sure a face used to brooding is going to hurt from so much laughter but the feeling feels pretty good when you start to feel right at home.

Well in this case Home was something that left a rock in the pit of both our stomachs. My mind wandered to the Art Shop, to Naruto, Hinata, Murray, The Rogue Three, Sai, Kakashi, etcetera. Looking into Sasuke's eyes however, I noticed a hollow look to them as if they led to something sad, broken and empty. I don't care how nice Itachi may have been but he just went to the top of my most ready to get whooped list under Orochimaru, Kabuto, and that icky Danzo.

My mind raced back to what I felt when Orochimaru touched me. His current "vessel" must be rejecting him. I'd reject him too if he decided to stick his soul in me!

His arms looked like they were slightly decaying. He had enough prescriptions to sink a ship. Heck, his original humanity must've been long gone in his quest for immortality. Sasuke is so screwed to have such a yeller bellied snake of a sensei. Still, in order to earn my freedom and keep Sasuke's faith in a newly forged bond, I've got to do something to keep him stable. He's going to be a husk by the time he continues on this road of vengeance if this keeps up.

"The road to a friend's house is never long," I stated remembering some random Danish proverb I saw on a greeting card at Wall Mart.

Sasuke stared.

"It's like I said the road to a friend's house is never long." I remarked handing him my business card, "Even if I live on another continent, you're welcome to come into my home. The Art Gift, which is my shop, is always welcomed to loved ones. Of course, when I was growing up there was another saying I remembered that helped me."

"Oh?" He asked, "and what's that?"

"Could you lean into me just a little please?" I asked. I had to adjust myself as I rolled the ever sick Sasuke a little. His head leaned into the crook of my neck. He actually let me put my arms around him a little. The pulse in my neck beat a polyphonic rhythm with the heart beating in his chest. "Home is where the heart is. Even if your heart is with your loved ones in heaven, you don't have to forget the ones still alive here, Okay?"

I felt along the side of Sasuke's room with my free hand to notice an odd bump in the wall. Oh great that had to be the painting hidden behind some camouflage sheet. I'd seen Daishioryu use that trick to escape Temari by blending in with a wall. To an untrained eye it's like nothing's there. Yet why would a Orochimaru steal a painting and hide it in Sasuke's room?

Now I had another problem; _I couldn't move! _Sasuke up and fell asleep! Boy when he got comfy, he _really_ got comfy. Did siblings ever have this problem too? The one where some kid or teen got so sleepy they just snooze into one's arms just when your legs go to sleep? I couldn't feel my behind anymore.

_Great choice for little bro figures Clarity, _I thought to myself as I wrapped my arms around him a little, well, as much as he'd let me, _Way to pick'em, a brooding ice masked raven boy and a ramen obsessed blabber mouthed bottomless pit. At least nobody's read your diary yet right?_

Meanwhile back at Suna, Naruto was packing around my diary and showing everybody what was in it! Hinata was fuming, Byakugan blaring, and she seriously wanted to kill me for the blabber mouthed bottomless pit angle I put in about Naruto. Arikara, looked ready to give me another dosage of payback. I noted down the names Gummy Bear, Frostbite and Dai-Dai. Yuukihana decided not to peek and Daishioryu just shrugged, he couldn't care less. Yamato wondered where I found out the kanji for "Captain Tree-dude" and Sai, was looking over his own sketch book wondering what he could learn if he researched my diary a _lot_ further.

The Sand Sibs; Temari, Kankuro, and especially the Kazekage Gaara, were pouring over the map that fell out of my diary. If Gaara had a set of eyebrows right now he'd be cocking one of them. Temari knew her little bros better than I do. She already picked up upon Gaara's minuscule gesture. She peeked over their heads at the orange blocks on the map.

"What's on your mind Gaara," Kankuro asked.

"Clarity told me she was searching for Sasuke," Gaara noted, his voice raspier than usual, "I didn't think it was possible she'd be able to so get close let alone the fact Orochimaru was right under our noses. These orange blocks have to be his hideout." Eddies of sand swirled angrily but Gaara cooled his temper before he killed something.

Realization spread across Kakuro like a hit in the face, "So that's the reason why she was trying to break into the public records office!" The other two glared, "What? So I let her in! I thought she was harmless."

Temari shook her head in disgust, "Ugh, Naruto's right. At first I thought she was just some quarrelsome woman but now I just don't know what she is anymore; Clarity's nuts period."

Murray was on the phone trying to reach me the entire time. A worried look spread across his face. I don't know why but he always seemed to have a knack at finding out something so simple. Murray was running down the hill before he tripped, then he went rolling . . .

KER-SMASH

. . . Once again into Naruto.

"Murray, this isn't some time to be playing!" He seethed dusting sand off his pants.

"I know, I know, but I have good news and bad news," Murray quipped, "Good news is Clarity is just fine. Bad news is someone wants to kill her already."

"What?!" the crowd asked.

"Uhhhhh," Murray fixed everyone with a blank look, "I saw her talking to some dude whose haircut looked like a backwards facing setter hen, called him Squirt or Sasuke and then she threatened some white haired dude that transformed into you." He pointed at Naruto. "Yamato called him Kabuto, she threatened Kabuto then Kabuto kidnapped her. Oh that Sasuke feller is there too."

Everyone stopped and stared at Murray. Murray was keeping a light smile on his face but inside he was crumbling. I ought to know, his puppy eyes, are actually a defense mechanism that activates when killing intent seeps out of people's bodies in insidious waves. Temari, Yuukihana and Sakura were already cracking their knuckles by now. Daishioryu suddenly found an interesting sight watching Yamato sigh as the girls (and possibly three upset guys) ready their jutsus on the death march.

"Wait, wait!" Murray wailed, waving his hands frantically, "The only reason I know this is Clarity turned off her cell phone recently. Don't forget who we're talking about here. The Hokage hired an artist, and specifically one with the ability to survive!"

Temari was about ready to punch him . . . she stopped. Her eyes narrowing as she asked, "How come is it you have so much faith in the woman? She's always needing rescued."

"I know, I know," Murry sighed, "She's not a perfect person but she at least cares for others. She's an artist just as much as you're a ninja, Gaara's the Kazekage, and as much as I'm her business partner and best friend. So don't worry! I know she'll be just fine."

"C-couldn't there be a problem i-if she dies?" Hinata asked.

"Hey she's survived my ex-wife," Murray cheered, "If she can survive that than she can survive anything."


	15. Chapter 14: Ninjas to the Rescue!

**Author's Note: **I don't own Naruto. Kishimoto-san owns Naruto. I don't own the Rogue Three (OC). Devonna owns the Rogue Three (she's dragonsprit on youtube). I write this for fun. Enjoy! :D

* * *

**Clarity in Konoha**

**Chapter 14:Ninjas to the Rescue!**

Was I ever going to get out of here with the painting? That was the thought at the back of my head. What was at the front of my mind was the kid laying there before me. Sasuke put on his best shinobi mask but thanks to the sweat and labored breathing it was a pretty pale imitation to the ones I've seen on ROOT ninjas. He seemed so used to putting up such a cool front that it must be embarrassing to appear weak in front of a civilian.

"Drop the mask Sasuke," I toned, handing him a wash cloth to wipe away the sweat, this was always the start of our usual argument, "You don't have to look tough in front of me, you're already tough enough as it is any who."

Sasuke would shake his head and throw the wash rag at me in jest before stating, "I've got to get stronger. If I'm able to get duped by a Harpy-"

CLANG

He ducted the now empty bowl of water I slung as he stated, "If I can get duped by you than how well do you think I'll fare up against that man." That man; three guesses and the first two don't count. Well if he's going to push buttons than two can play at that game.

I picked up some of my breakfast and offer it to him asking, "Burrito?"

"Ano . . ." Sasuke moaned clutching his stomach, thanks to me tricking him into a curry eating binge. He's never looked at spicy food the same way ever again. I held up a barf bag wondering if he needed it.

CLANG

I ducked the water bowl. This time it was his turn to throw something at me yelling, "I won't lose my bet to you!"

Sasuke never said more than he needed to say when a grunt or a glare could do the rest. He was probably the second most hard core ninja I ever met, (not including Sai but in a different manner).Sure he had his little ice mask at times but at least he wasn't always such a snot. During our little quarantine Sasuke and I made sure to talk and tease like there was no tomorrow. I mean, c'mon, how many times do you think people feel so relieved to take off a mask and act natural? I mean, as for me, I pretty much act as I usually do except when facing clients, people who embarrass the heck out of me, and . . . Um . . . Well, what the heck, it's nice to let loose for once. I went to clean up our little mess when Sasuke caught my shoulder.

"Clarity wait," Sasuke beckoned, I stopped, made eye contact. He wasn't giving me that unnerving panther look so it looked like he had something in mind, "Meet me in the lounge."

"Are you sure Sasuke?" I asked I mean lately he couldn't even hop out of bed without help now he could trudge at least what a few feet? "Because you know if you need any help . . ."

He glared at me with the kind of look the grim reaper gives a shinigami over a chess match. Man if looks could kill. I sweat dropped and grabbed what stuff I could. I made a hasty bee line for the door. Sasuke already hooked his legs over the bedside.

FLOP

"I'll be down the hall if you need me." I called out, wincing as Sasuke crumpled to the floor. It felt like fifteen maybe thirty minutes later when Sasuke limped into the lounge, panting. I rushed to his side, wordlessly lending a shoulder to lean on when a gleam caught my eye. The tags I'd sewn up and a scroll were sticking out of Sasuke's belt. Now what did he bring those for? I told him he could keep the tags but the scroll? Where'd it come from? I had a feeling Sasuke was just about to explain in three . . . Two . . . One . . .

"Do you have any chalk?" he asked, I face faulted, good grief what a way to start an explanation.

"Pick a color," I told him as he scanned over my pastel set. He finally settled for sapphire blue and began drawing a little circular design on the coffee table with many intricate letters in between. Unconsciously he clutched his curse mark. I guess he must've been remembering the time when Kakashi was doing something similar to what he was doing. Except in his case it was to seal his curse mark. The seal was still working to make things bearable except when he needed it the most is what he told me.

Sweat was beginning to drip off his brow in droves. It seemed to sap his strength just to be standing here. I was barely there handing him a towel. He blotted his face and threw the thing back. A few more scribbles later, he stood back to admire his work. I'd have to admit he's got some pretty penmanship though his drawing skills are barely basic, the bare bones to say the least.

"Do you have your stuff?" He asked.

"Yes I-" I stated but he interrupted with a finger to my lips.

"We need to work fast," Sasuke stated, "Someone's discovered the hideout, particularly a large group with Naruto." I was at a loss for words but then again, Naruto was with me when we went searching for him so I guess it made sense.

"Place your hand here, grab the tags," He stated, "and . . . Eh . . . Meditate. I'm going to call upon some of the kyuubi chakra that's still in your system."

I did as he said, heard that low volume high pitched hissing noise and suddenly felt pain like you cannot believe! Every nerve in my body started screaming! The only sound I could hear was the blood pounding in my ears. I almost doubled over but this was nothing compared to imagining Maito Gai in a speedo. _What_, it was the only thing I could think of to keep my mind off the pain. Sasuke didn't seem to fare any better than me, hmmm, I guess a curry binge throws oneself out of whack a bit.

Sasuke looked so ready to collapse. My hands were full so I held Sasuke upright with my forehead when some wetness crept up my back. Oh wonderful, those wounds I got when Naruto used me as scratching post were coming open and Sakura is so going to bend me into a pretzal for this. Sasuke's Sharingan eyes widened in horror. I couldn't see why but a glance at my shadow told me plumes of red swirling bubbly chakra was steaming out the bleeding gashes in my back along with . . . Purple? Oh yeah, I didn't tell Sasuke that I had two demons' chakra in my system.

Sasuke's elaborate circle design glowed bright red. It swirled up both our arms and into the tags at alarming speed. Pain still wracked my body. That was unimportant. Right now I was busy keeping Sasuke from keeling over. I know he's task oriented so I already knew what to say next.

"Sasuke, Sasuke, listen to me," I called out, Sasuke's eyes fluttered open Sharingan still spinning; good. "Listen to me, tell me what's next. What're we going to do next?"

"You can get yourself a breath mint now." Sasuke scoffed, "Your breath smells like . . . HOOP!"

GURGLE-GURGLE

"Oh gee thanks a lot," I chorused, glad to see Sasuke can joke at a time like this even though the whole building's shaking and he's too sick to even say the word Burrito, "What now Squirt?"

Sasuke's reply was so muffled I could barely read his lips. He took a hand off the table, bit his thumb to draw a little blood and proceeded to show me he was writing his name. I just ran my finger along my back before I put the words Clarity Cratchet on the back of my dragon tag with the crest.

"Switch tags," He murmured, raspy, "Put the tag I have around your neck and I'll put the tag you gave me around mine. This will allow me to do a reverse summons to get you out of here."

"No way Sasuke!" I yelled, "Even I know you're exhausted, you won't make it."

RUMBLE

The building started collapsing in on itself. Too bad I forgot to wipe off my finger. As we traded tags a few drops of blood had dripped on the seal and distorted it just enough to make the whole room glow a deathly hallow green. Insane maniacal laughter abounded through the area. Ah man, my heart just leapt to my throat.

"**MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAH Doesn't it feel great to be back or what?"** Some demon laughed, he looked like a sumo raccoon made out of slimy fleshy sand, **"So who summoned me this time!"**

Poor Sasuke was back to clutching his stomach when that thing started to rise out of the earth taking all the sandstone, and granite with it. With all the rocking that thing started to do. I was paralyzed with fear. Sasuke's eyes were glazed over with seasickness. He almost threw up until he saw me and gulped down whatever crawled up. According to the grimace on his face it was disgusting.

"Sasuke, I . . . can't . . . believe you!" I grunted, scooping Sasuke up by the seat of his pants to carry him off on piggy back, "You're still thinking of that ridiculous bet at a time like this?"

"Slow down," Sasuke moaned, "I . . . think I'm going to . . ." Sasuke was plugging his mouth to prevent . . . Spillage.

"Nuh-uh, Noooo Way!" I yelled back, running for our lives, the floor floating up as I ran making Sasuke's curry filled stomach do back flips, "We slow down! We're dead!"

* * *

**Meanwhile outside Orochimaru's hideout . . .**

* * *

A sliver of moonlight glittered against the sky as eleven figures ran out into the twilight. The first six (Rogue Three and the Sand Sibs) led the other five across the sand dunes. Naruto was speeding as fast as his legs would let him yet a reprimand from Captain Yamato of the five man squad that was sent to keep Clarity Cratchet in line kept him from taking the lead. His eyes flashed Cadmium Red. His brisk clip would go no slower when a green explosion lit the sky ablaze.

KA-BOOM

"What was that?" Temari asked, each ninja grinding to a halt. A swirl of granite, sandstone, and well of course sand filled the sky. A rounded demonic presence opened it's slimy maw and laughed.

"**MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAH Doesn't it feel great to be back or what?"** Some demon laughed, he looked like a sumo raccoon made out of slimy fleshy sand, **"So who summoned me this time!"**

Gaara's ringed blue eyes widened in horror. He clutched his stomach in an upset, in disbelief of something that could not be there. Yet there the demon was laughing his head off as he normally did. Especially when he was taking great big morsels out of his fevered fatigued psyche. Everyone else, except for Naruto ran ahead of him. Naruto turned toward his friend with empathetic worry since Gaara _used_ to be a demon container too.

"Gaara what's wrong?" Naruto asked shaking his friend out of his daze, "Hey what's gotten into you and OH MY KAMI WHAT IS THAT?"

"Sh-sh . . . Shukaku," Gaara murmured, "Or what's left of him I think."

Arikara looked in awe at the ten story behemoth Shukaku. Yuukihana tugged at her arm. Daishioryu, dove in head first with an electrified iron sword swinging. The beast's colossal gleaming eyes fell across the sands to see a bunch of people striking forward. Shukaku barely flicked a wrist. A tsunami of sand engulfed the crew before they even summoned anything.

* * *

**Inside Orochimaru's Hideout**

* * *

Meanwhile Sasuke and I were running for our lives! Well I was running, okay, I was sprinting my lower half off. Waves of destruction followed upon my heels. Sasuke was trying to hold on to me for dear life while trying not to get sick down my back. I was doing just fine till I ran into a fork in the maze.

"Okay . . . Which way, which way!" I panicked, tapping my foot while Sasuke's face was changing pastel colors.

"Slow down Clarity," He whined.

"The only way I'm going to slow down is when we're a far enough away from that thing!" I snapped spinning on my heel to point at the wave of destruction, "Does that look far enough to you!"

". . . Turn left . . ." Sasuke muttered, with which I turned Left, dodged right and hit the entrance to open air and freedom! Good news is I saw the sky for the first time in what felt like forever. Bad news is I was stepping on someone's face; make that Sakura's face.

"SHANNAROO!" Sakura yelled calling upon her inner strength to go full flailed berserker mode. She rose up, I had to flip around to make sure I didn't land on Sasuke's woozy stomach. Yet the thing that scared us the most was not Sakura's temper. Oh _no _it was her fan girlish mood swing.

"Sasuke-kun!" she suddenly beamed grabby Sasuke in a vicious hug around his queasy section popping his spine all the way, "You're all right!"

KRA-A-A-A-ACK

BLAGH

" . . . Unnnnn . . ." Sasuke moaned while Sakura was shivering about the vile down her back. I gently took Sasuke up and finally brought him behind a different sand dune.

"Okay Sasuke," I toned, "I think you suffered enough now. Let it all out and we can call it a draw deal?"

Sasuke didn't even answer. He was too busy finally getting sick to his stomach. Shivers it sounded awful. I can't believe I tricked a guy into suffering through all that. Sasuke was unloading his stomach for what seemed like an hour. His moans were deafened by the sound of that demon's high pitched laughter.

While Sasuke was finally able to stand, though not by much Sakura had a happy death grip that Sasuke was still too fatigued to resist. I was busy digging at a sand dune.

The sand suddenly eddied away revealing a very ticked off Gaara. Naruto holding _my _diary. Sai readying a scroll. Yamato looking at the cackling monster. Daishioryu running in head first once again. Arikara and Yuukihana providing back up. Temari readying a fan and Kankuro already stepping behind Salamander's colossal shield.

"Oh . . . Uh hi guys," I stammered with a sweat drop, "How's the sands?"

Wrong question because the next thing I know Hinata gave me a flying gentle fist to the gut!

"How dare you call Naruto a b-blabber mouthed bottomless pit!" She snarled, "I thought you had more respect than that." Whelp so much for gratitude.

"I don't know why Shukaku is back in this world," Gaara growled, "All I know is you had something to do with it." The thought hit me like a brick, of course I had something to do with it; Demon chakra, the seal, two drops of blood, and this Shukaku beast asking who summoned him. Of course it was my fault. I could slap myself but that'd be a waste of time. I took out a piece of rice paper I kept in my art bag and sketched out the circle design Sasuke drew and added another two drops of blood from my back. Pain screamed through my every nerves once again as I focused what little energy I could into the seal.

"Hey Shukaku!" I yelled, "Remember me?"

"**So you're the one who summoned me,"** Shukaku drawled, **"Well, well, well, aren't you a pretty thing? Where's the baby? Aren't you going to feed a snack to your favorite Shinigami you're summoning?" **Oh that guy just went straight up to my number one hit list.

"No Shukaku," I responded, "You're going back to wherever you came from."

Arikara's shadow hands wrapped around Shukaku in waves. Huge boards with spikes came out of the ground, Yamato's addition. Daishioryu, threw his electrified sword into Shukaku's eye making him scream as the sands congealed slowing his movement. Yuukihana and Sakura gave the fatigued Sasuke two good smacks on the noggin for who knows what? Sometimes I just never get what's going through other people's heads.

"**YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!"**Shukaku roared as he went whirl pooling down into the rice paper, **"I'M SHUKAKU THE ONE TAILED BIJU." **

"Yeah, yeah," I scoffed, "Thanks for giving my friends and I heck so go to back to where you belong." The rice paper burned away into ashes just like I intended; one way in, no way out. Thankfully, thanks to Shukaku, everyone was way too tired to argue. Sakura was practically exhausted after having to reclose my back. Sasuke refused to go to sleep, looking for an escape. I murmured words of safety in his ear and finally he was back to sleep, arms wrapped around my shoulders as I piggy backed him out of here. He didn't care who saw him this time, it just felt good to find that trust that didn't need to say anything to know that the person felt safe and sound somewhere in the world.

I took a brisk clip behind Naruto. Dangerous knowledge glittered in his eyes. Maybe seeing Shukaku in the flesh pulled a nerve string? Nah, Naruto had my diary. He saw what was in my diary and now he was worried over it.

"Hey Naruto," I called out, I didn't know if he heard me but somehow I knew he was listening, "You know, I'm sorry for doing those still lives of you in my diary. I know you're scared of what I'll think or maybe punch me, you haven't done that since I yelled at Sai at Tanzaku Gai for turning my extra jump drive into a deadly weapon."

Still nothing, Naruto was fingering over one of my more personal sketches. The closest thing I had to a family photograph.

He turned to me and asked, "Do you really think of me as a Blabber Mouthed Bottomless Pit?"

"Well," I stated at a loss for words, "Sometimes I do and Lots of times I don't."

"Whaddaya mean?" He growled. We went walking a few more paces before the answer hit me.

"You and . . . Eh . . . Sasuke through some weird stroke of fate have become the closest things I've ever had as far as little brothers go," I blathered _why _am I blathering? "It's true you are very loud and every time we went out for Ramen, it amazes me how much you put away! You are loud and amazing. That's what the term Blabber Mouthed Bottomless Pit means. You are very loud and I'm amazed at how much food you keep putting away. I mean what's your secret, two hollow legs or something?"

"I'M JUST LOUD AND AMAZING BELIEVE IT!" Naruto cheered.

"Hush up Dobe and let me sleep," Sasuke muttered.

"Yeah nice to see you again too Sasuke," Naruto scowled but from what I could tell by the glitter in his eye, it was more of his way of saying 'Welcome back, I missed you.'

* * *

**The best thing about writing this is I get so nostalgic on some of the gags found in Naruto that are old and new. I wonder what Kishimoto would think if he saw this. He'd probably think I'm nuts, but hey, it's a story. So relax, read, and enjoy. :D**


	16. Chapter 15: Friendly Byes & Vengeful Hi

**Author's Note: **I don't own Naruto or the Rogue Three_ (Devonna's OC's just type up Rogue Three in the search engine so you can check this wonderful artist's, rest her soul, amazing artwork on youtube. She's found a way to combine much of her art with scenes found on the Naruto and Naruto Shippuden TV series to make her work look seamless) _Clarity and Murray however are my own crazy creations and even their antics defy my sometimes warped sense of logic. It's wonderful! I do this for fun so just sit back, enjoy, and watch the fur and feathers fly in this chapter.

* * *

**Clarity in Konoha**

**Chapter 15: Friendly Good Byes and Vengeful Greetings**

Everyone else decided to sleep in late today. Hinata, Sakura and Yuukihana were camped out in my hotel room with Temari who decided to drop everything and face plant in a bed. Arikara decided to sneak into Yamato's room across the hall. I couldn't wait to see the look on Gaara's face when his little sleeping bag has two people snuggled into it instead of one. I know those two couldn't really try anything stupid right? I barely stepped over Naruto who was majorly adamant that he guard Sasuke 24/7. Some guarding, I went and took the extra blanket Kankuro kicked off and tucked it around Naruto's sagging shoulders.

The only other person to be awake this hour of the morning turned out to be a certain Sasuke Uchiha. He was busy just packing up things. His Snake Sword standing out of his belt. He tucked the Crested Dragon Tag around his neck inside his wrap top. That was the thing that happened with those tags. Once we put them around each of our own necks they were stuck there forever more never to be taken off. He was so busy getting ready to leave that I just so had to sneak up behind him.

"Guess Who!" I beamed covering his eyes, "EEP!" I squeaked that Snake Sword barely pricked my throat suddenly. Oh yes important lesson remembered: Never sneak behind a ninja.

"You're getting better at keeping quiet," Sasuke crooned with a smirk.

"Well I tend to pick up on things wherever I go." I crooned back with a sweat drop grin.

"Here," Sasuke stated as he finally tossed me the scroll, "Here's the painting. The tags work like tracking devices except I can reverse Summon myself to keep my end of the bet. Your couch open most weekends?"

"It's open to you anytime," I chided as I held up my own tag and studied it, "What else did you do with these tags."

"I also made it to where you can pick up on Chakra signatures easier especially _my_ chakra signature. But it's also one sided, you know you almost killed yourself facing Shukaku after Sakura had to purge a lethal dose of now three demon chakras running through your system." Sasuke toned, as he made his way to the window, careful not to wake anyone.

"Tell me something I don't know," I laughed but then got serious as I handed him a few addresses, "Look this is a list of good cheap hotels that I've found from here all the way to the Land of Tea. I promised not to get in your way as part of our bet but I'm not getting in Naruto's way either but, hey you better make sure to watch your health or you'll hear me giving you another pride swallowing lesson, got it?"

The color drained from his face and just when he finally got some color in his cheeks. He nodded briskly and jumped away. I went back to bed with Icha Icha Paradise for the next few minutes before I put it away so that Temari didn't find it and burn it. She already did that to Kankuro's collection when she found him reading it during an important political function. To make matters worse, the figure at that party also happened to be a big fan and just sent him the box set in the mail.

"No way! He's gone!" Naruto snapped, "And we almost had him too!" Everyone went through their gasps of surprise had their moping moments. Daishioryu decided to head out suddenly for a cigarette. As for me, Naruto decided to take advantage of a bucket, cold water and an ice maker.

"Wakey Wakey Ramen and Bakey," Naruto called, "GOOOOOOD MORNING CALL ON THE ROCKS!"

KER-PLASH

"Ah-h-h-h," I gasped, and suddenly felt the need for my fluffy bath robe. Naruto fell asleep standing up. Well talk about good mornings. I tapped him on the shoulder and he fell down in the same place I was laying. Man sometimes he's such a little kid.

That was the first thing I woke up to at maybe seven a.m. or eight. I don't care which I was too tired to look at a clock. One thing I hate about sleeping in is lack . . . Of . . . _Coffee_. I trudged over to my thermos; empty. I trudged over to the coffee maker by the bathroom; empty. I trudged into the bathroom to look in the toilet. Now why would I look for coffee in the toilet? My mind was on brain drain; need coffee. I found the soap dish; pocketed said soap dish in my fluffy robe pocket; trudged downstairs.

"Clarity there you are," Sakura grinned, "I was wondering if you going to need this I made it myself, decaffeinated of course."

I glared daggers into her jade green eyes, decaf coffee? She had to be nuts. The stuff was bubbling and grossly thick. How does she even do that? How can she take something as simple as coffee and make it almost poisonous? She knows by now how I like my coffee; extra strong period.

I trudged over to the coffee maker with a bag I brought from Konoha. How many scoops should I put in; one, two? Not much left, I'll just dump the whole bag. Once the coffee was brewed I felt myself awakened. After a couple cups of the extra strong good stuff I was ready to take on the world!

Naruto however walked in dead as a door nail with an instant Ramen cup in hand. He stared at the world through half closed eyelids. Gee, just the same way I looked this morning. He trudged over as Sakura presented him a coffee cup of decaf sludge. He took it, handed it to me, and while Sakura was busy on the phone, I poured it back into her cup. She took a huge gulp and nearly gagged. Sai, curious as to why Sakura gagged, sniffed the contents of her cup and poured it into a cactus pot. The Cactus died shortly after.

CRASH

"Hmmm Morning," I beamed as Gaara came crashing down, "Enjoy the sleepover?"

"Why is there a lump in my sleeping bag?" Gaara asked, the part on his russet red hair was facing the other direction as that bed head stood all over the place.

"I believe that lump is called Arikara," I announced as said lump suddenly sprang from the sleeping bag with an innocent chibified grin. Her dark violet banes askew as her seafoam green eyes sparkled oodles of 'who me?' in her best innocent gaze ever. I turned to Yuukihana, "Hey have you seen Daishioryu."

CHEEP-CHEE-CHEEP-CHEE-CHEE-CHEEP-CHEEP

. . . BOOM . . .

"Yes," she murmured, "Dai-kun was just seeing if he could use Chidori to light a cigarette. So far, it doesn't sound like it is working." Daishioryu walked solely into the hotel with a well lit cigarette butt that he snuffed out in a dead potted cactus as he went to the sink to wash the soot off of his face.

Yamato waved his good mornings. I myself was pretty much dressed and decent to make my way to Suna's walls. I had my To Go bag, art bag, coffee thermos, and Murray was calling the Hokage who yelled for the thousandth time for him to quit calling her 'Naruto's Mom.' I thought the Sand Sibs were off to see us at the gates for that three day trip back until it hit me.

"_Expect double the payback the next time we have our little rematch," she snarled._

"_We'll be there." The two Sand Sibs darkly chorused._

"_Goody," I mewled evilly grinning, "I'll try not to miss it for the world."_

What I didn't expect was three days of hearing this soft high pitched hissing noise and getting this weird sensation of some type of energy that keeps flaring up. I told Naruto my problem but he openly laughed in my face. I asked Sakura if something was wrong with me and if I needed a check up. She cracked her knuckles; I decided to run. Yamato was no help either, and even the Sand sibs and the Rogue three said I had heat stroke. When do I ever suffer in the heat?! Sai, just pat me on the shoulder like his answer was a no brainier.

"Oh don't worry Claire-sensei you're not sick," He beamed with a fake little grin, "You're just delusional!"

SMACK

WHACK

CRACK

I barreled after my art apprentice, throwing as many things as I could find. We were nearing Konoha again so it was pretty easy to pick up a rock or four. Sai dodged with ease, till I hit his jaw. The smack rattled his brain. His legs gave out beneath him. I was about to smirk in victory when that high pitched hissing noise happened again! I could feel a flare but it was bigger than the others. Where in the heck was that coming from?

"Clairity, where are you going?" Sakura cried, "I think you just gave Sai a concussion!" Sai was sitting on his knees looking glazed. His head wobbling ever so slightly in and out of consciousness. I totally ignored them; my brain swam.

Okay, what to do? What could I do? Oh wait, now I knew what I did. I grabbed a rock, a pretty big one (softball size) and hurled it! It made a noise. I threw another rock, that energy flared well not just flared; IT SPIKED!

"**GRR WHO THREW THAT ROCK,"** yelled a deep, deep booming voice, **"WHO NAILED ME IN THE EYE?!" **

Naruto skidded to a halt to shake me violently and plead, "Puh-leeeeease don't tell me you just hit a giant toad's eye with a rock."

Gaara, Kankuro, and even Temari suddenly back tracked as if I detonated a mine field. The Rogue Three were suddenly on high alert before they disappeared. Sai was too dazed to think as Yamato dragged him for cover and Sakura followed after. Naruto dug his nails into my shoulder and shook.

"What?" I asked, "What's the big . . ."

WHOOSH

CAH-RAAAASSHHHH

". . . deal?" I squeaked, crying rivers of anime tears while looking into the face of the scariest giant toad ever to have a scar grace one eye. His Japanese style robe billowed in the breeze slightly around his aluzarian crimson and white body. his amphibious forehand or paw fingered a giant yakuza style katana that made Sasuke's snake sword look like a tooth pick. It would've been a grand sight except for that rock that got lodged in the corner of his eye. I felt the presence of several similar energies begin to spike with that same hissing noise assaulting my ears.

"Umm . . . Naruto?" I asked nudging Naruto as I stood in 10% awe and trembled in 90% fright, "Who or what . . . Is that?"

"That's Chief Toad Gamabunta," Naruto gulped, "I also have one last suggestion."

" . . . and that is?" I squeaked.

"RUUUUUNNN!" Naruto yelled as we both bolted for the tree tops.

"**GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE PESTS!" **Gamabunta roared as he hopped sky high I grabbed at Naruto's sleeve and together we took the quiet route down, **"NARUTO, I KNOW IT'S YOU DOWN THERE! GET OUT HERE AND BRING THAT SCRAWNY HARPY!"**

SPING

WHACK

"**WHO THREW THAAAAT!" **Gamabunta loudly snarled, as he turned the exact opposite direction of where we were hiding.

"Clarity are you nuts?" Naruto desperately whispered, "What're you-"

I silenced Naruto with a glare worthy of a dragon and answered, "Just try going my way a little bit. I've got an idea and need your help to make it work. I only need you to make an army of shadow clones while you hold one of these."

I brought out several of my favorite little bouncy balls. Naruto's eyes lit up. He knew what I was thinking. Except he gulped once he realized what I was planning. We were hiding in the small of Gamabunta's back while that toad used his fingers to get the rocks out of his eyes.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Naruto demanded, Kage Bunshin hid among the trees with super balls at the ready. I closed my eyes, what to do, what to do?

"Fire away," I implored.

THUNK-THUNK

THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD

Armies of yelling Naruto's pelted Gamabunta from the other side. The real Naruto and I were along for the ride. Hundreds of bouncy balls pelted off him in a side pour. Yeah, so it didn't hurt him. It made him so mad he _charged_ all according to plan.

* * *

Meanwhile at the gates of Konoha, an army of ninjas and every animal summons imaginable laid low in ambush, dodge balls at the ready. Our last game had been a real doozy the last time I challenged Tsunade. She went easy on me that time, but ever since I blackmailed her at Suna during Naruto's little date. She made it her order that every available ninja prepare for war. Where I had the wits. She had an army, super strength, and the power to order every available ninja to shoot me down upon sight.

"Neji do you see Clarity coming?" Tsunade asked, she even summoned a white and purple slug, Katsuya, whom she only summons for emergencies. Yet, this time they planned for an all out war of a rematch by having having little Lady Katsuya slugs hang around people's necks like a two way slug transmitter.

Neji's Byakugan flared as his pearly eyes focused. The veins on either side popped forward to allow more chakra flowing into his x-ray eyesight. He seemed consternated for a moment watching a bunch of Chakra blur at Gamabunta's rattling belt. What he didn't expect was a giant toad barrel at his face! He fell over in shock.

THUD

"Neji is everything youthfully good up there," Lee inquired cocking a bushy brow.

"Just run!" Neji ordered, falling back. Gamabunta crashed through the gates with a roar.

"NARUTOOOO! WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?" he roared, barreling through the streets. Ninjas weaved from roof to roof. Nin dogs barked obscenities. Naruto and I held on for dear life inside Gamabunta's belt. I was lucky I ate a light lunch. Naruto was turning moss green at the cheeks.

"Don't you throw up on me Naruto!" I quipped placing a hand on his mouth as all that ramen he ate made his stomach cacophony, "Gamabunta's going to be mad enough as it is with us using him as a tank during a dodge ball match."

"Speak for yourself," Naruto whined doubling over, " . . . Anoooo . . . When he's through with you he'll chew on me next after Tsunade breaks both of us for destroying half the village."

". . . OOOOoooohhhh . . . Eh-heh," I nervously chuckled earning myself a big sweat drop. It was going to be a long while before Gamabunta finds out where we really went all this time.

* * *

**Chapter 16: Duck, Duck, Dodgeball! **

The Dodgeball game continues! Naruto and Clarity accidently barge in onto someone's . . . ahem . . . private moment while running for their lives from flying spheres of doom. :)


	17. Chapter 16:Duck, Duck Dodge Ball!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto or the Rogue Three. I just write this for fun and entertainment.

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* * *

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Clarity in Konoha

**Chapter 16: Duck, Duck, Dodge Ball!**

* * *

"**You little snot****,"** the Chief Toad Gamabunta growled, red lips curling over his pipe in a vicious leer, **"****WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU AND THAT HARPY WITCH I'LL KILL YOU****."**

KER-SMASH

SMASH

SMASH

The toad sticks the landing and bye-bye building. Ugh, I felt my stomach heave. My first ride on a giant toad and he just happens to be like riding a derby car set on bounce. Gamabunta showed no signs of slowing down. What ideas could anyone come up with a time like this? Naruto turned out to be just that guy with the idea.

"Hey Naruto what're you doing?" I gasped, "It's like a war zone right now and you're going to jump?"

"It's not like we've got anything better to do." Naruto bolted to the top of Gamabunta's sheathed blade before lending me his hand, "So are you with me or not!"

My hand grabbing his was the only answer I could muster. Gamabunta litterally flew along the earth with such force I fell out taking Naruto with me! Naruto held on by barely a belt loop. Gamabunta screeched to a halt; side winding us into his massive sword.

"Hey!" I yelled despite Naruto trying to desperately clamp my lips shut in a struggle, "You think you could slow down?"

Gamabunta whirled at the sound of my tiny voice sending us flying and . . . crashing into some random Jonin's apartment window.

KRSH

Naruto landed with graceful ease. I got slammed into the next wall keeping the living room separated from the bathroom leaving a crater above the sink. I went to take the glass out of my hair. Naruto was doubled over on the floor all of a sudden.

Note to self: Never ride a giant angry toad on a very full stomach.

"Naruto," I yelled as he stumbled drunkenly through the hallway doubled over with a hand to his mouth, "The bathroom's the other-"

BLLLLAAARRRGH

". . . way . . ." I sighed, I think we were in Asuma's bedroom and he just shot up to a sitting position as soon as Naruto kicked in the door. I didn't notice Asuma was naked till I came up to Naruto and handed him some random bucket I found. While Naruto lost his lunch; I lost what little grace I had left when I discovered a familiar head of thick dark hair rise up from the covers.

"Clarity; Naruto?" Kurenai yelped rubbing herruby eyes pulling bed clothes over the unclothed, "Is that-"

"You? Asuma? Together?," I gawked before stupidly cheering, "Woohoo! Ride'em Ninja! You go girl!"

Kurenai was so going to kill me. Her face turned beet red. Asuma, enraged grabbed an ash tray and flung it! I ducked, Kurenai screamed, and just about every dodge ball player heard her within a ten mile radius. Naruto hastily apologized. He slung me on his narrow shoulder and jumped into the bed. We went freefalling out of a fifth story window before volleys of balls rushed out the opening.

PLUNK

"Hey Naruto, look, I caught some balls!" I cheered when Naruto threw me into an alleyway and covered the opening with trash cans.

"Are you an idiot Clarity!" Naruto hissed, "This looks like a war field."

"It's called dodge ball!" I countered, "Now c'mon, LET'S FIRE AWAAAAY!"

I grabbed the ball and the next chakra I felt flaring I aimed and-

WHAMMO

I just hit an angered Asuma flat in the face. I grabbed another ball and gave it a good squeeze. Naruto looked left right and sighed muttering something about when in Rome and grabbed another kick ball. The ball that hit Asuma in the face finally fell off showing an enraged shinobi. The smoke from his cig encircled his head like a demonic wreath. He picked up the ball.

"Oh you're so asking for it Clarity," Asuma maniacally grinned, "You. Are. Going. Down."

"Bring it Smokey! Only you can start forest fires!" I yelled back, throwing full throttle.

WHHOOOOSHHH

Meanwhile while everyone else was outside having a blast. There were a couple of shriveled old fogies that went by the happy names of Koharu and Himura that made a racket and called all the "Elders" away, including the Hokage Tsunade. Okay this is all second hand info from a certain ninja named Iruka Umino who pressed his ear to the door when he heard Tsunade slam her fists on the table and growl. Yes there was arguing as usual but the news that really chilled him to the bone he told went like this.

"You want me to WHAT?" Tsunade yowled, Iruka who decided to avoid the dodge ball war by bringing files up from the mission room, stopped in mid stride. A bad chill ran up his spine.

"You heard me Tsunade," spoke Koharu in a voice that sounded like helium run through a blender, "The Kyuubi and the Harpy woman are too dangerous put in the same room together and what were you thinking? Hiring a civilian to do a ninja's job. She's a failure an absolute failure whose shenanigans alone have destroyed half of the Uchiha compound, caused the Suna Desert to have three days worth of demon driven sand storms, and turned Konoha into a playground. She is a menace and a bilking cheater with no more talent for survival than a flea beneath my foot."

Iruka is definitely right, Koharu is a windbag.

Tsunade huffed and sat back on her heels growling, "Look you, you may not like my choice in artists but every one you picked has died. She's lasted longer than any other one and Naruto is not the Kyuubi. He's a ninja of Konoha now eithier you can shove it or stuff it."

"How about we let the Elders decide," spoke Himura, his deep baritone voice rumbled, "Whoever wants Clarity off the mission say I."

Shikaku Nara fell asleep, Danzo stuck a finger in his back causing him.

"Aye," He screamed, "What was that for?"

"Okay one vote for us," winded Koharu, "All opposed same sign."

"Aye!" Iruka suddenly yelled, bursting through the door. Cue the oncoming stare. Iruka righted himself quickly after this.

"Er . . . Uh . . . What I meant to say is it's not fair to fire her and not tell her about it." Iruka calmy stated with that warm smile he seems to do a lot.

"I move to have the Hokage give Clarity the full reason behind the mission than see if that scares her away." Spoke up Hiashi. Iruka told me about there being a unanimous vote. Of course they didn't tell me how much crazier the fight would be after this.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Will Clarity survive. what's going on in the shadows? Oh well, this is going to be so much fun. Stay tuned for craziness galore. :D


	18. Chapter 17: Clarity Wears a Dress

Oh boy, what a dream. I dreamt that some tan brunette man with a gentle smile and scar across the bridge of his nose knocked on the door and asked if he could stay for tea. I went to whack myself on the door jam; bad move; I already received a concussion. My head was pounding, I was in pain, it wasn't a dream, and I would never trade that dodge ball game for the world. Asuma turns out to be a pretty aggressive player when motivated. He hit my head a good 78 times.

"Are . . . You alright Clarity? You don't seem . . . Well." the man stated his lips turning into a decent frown when he noticed the drink in my hand that I was using as an ice pack. I racked my memory, where did I know this guy from before? Naruto keeps a picture of him in his back pocket. What does Naruto always call this man?

"So Iruka-sensei," I asked, "Do you like your tea hot or on the rocks?"

Iruka looked at me like I was insane.

"Pardon me but iced tea? Iced . . . Tea? Is this what they taught you at your academy?" He asked, here I am thinking here-we-go-again. Iruka is only one of many people I've met that wear their heart on their sleeve. Basically he's tender, loving, and so emotional that his heart strings and buttons are tangled up in knots. Couple that with that serious nature of his and extreme maternal instinct, and you've got one man that practically radiates the title, "Mr. Mom."

"Actually Iruka I got taught reading, writing, arithmetic, psychology, art, art history, art appreciation, theatre, and every artsy class under the sun along with mechanics and shop class." I blathered trying to remember what college classes I did have off the top of my head, "I didn't graduate till I was in my early twenties."

"You're still in you're early twenties." Iruka pointed.

"Oh Dag nabbit you get the idea!" I snapped and took a sip of my iced tea. I let Iruka invite himself through the door.

"That long and you didn't make your first kill yet?" he innocently asked.

GULP-ULP AWK!

I almost choked on my iced tea. Did he just say first and kill? The closest I've ever gotten to shooting the living was with a DSLR camera. I'm a lousy shot when it comes for stuff actually meant to kill people. Why do people keep asking me this? I'm a civilian, I don't know how to fight to save my life! If I didn't do any dodge ball, I wouldn't know how or even when to dodge.

Iruka fumbled with his own hot tea and looked increasingly guilty, "Well you see it's just that most of the kids here, prodigies especially usually see their first dead body when they're about ten or so." Iruka's pained smile; I could tell he was tugging his own heartstring, my heart felt it too. "At least that was how old I was when my . . ." he swallowed.

"Parents died." I condoned, since being an orphanage raised orphan myself I've heard plenty sob stories, they're no big deal anymore, "Well Iruka-sensei is there anything else you came to talk about because normally complete strangers don't ask to come for a cup of tea?"

One long small talk filled explanation later and here I was in front of the Godaime's office yet again. It was no wonder all the ninjas dressed so casually to see the Hokage. The Elders asked me to dress nice and gah, it made me feel like a grade school girl in front of the principle's office. I went for fashion tips from the Hyuuga clan since straight laced people tend to follow the rules and I definitely didn't want to cause a cultural uproar after the whole iced tea thing. I mean sure Iruka was nice about it but if it had been someone else I'd have been gutted for sure! Not to mention it's usually the stupid little stuff that makes people bark high treason. Hinata thought it'd be cute that I wear a white cocktail dress(probably revenge for date of doom, Jiraiya's been stalking me and Maito Guy's nose just exploded with bodily fluids). Murray did his best to help me carry whatever I had with me (portfolio, _big_ kind of portfolio, resume, contracts, little ledger). I use this paper trail to cover my behind; why have an alibi without evidence?

"Murray you don't have to, you know I'm built tough," I pleaded when I tried to pick up my big heavy portfolio away from him. I mean if I were going to go down, I don't take my precious people down with me. He held it firm.

"Nuh-uh Clarity this time you _need _help." Murray hissed, "It's going to be hard to win this council over."

"Win them over? Why? I've done enough damage I'm going to man up and take my fall like a woman!" I quietly declared, though I did wish that declaration fell on deaf ears.

"What are you doing here! The meeting starts in five minutes! You're overdressed. Lady Tsunade is going to kill me for not finding you sooner." Shizune gasped without a pause for breath. She grabbed me by the arm and hurled me through the hallway past Yamato, Naruto, Kakashi, Sai, Jiraiya and even Kiba who decided to ogle like the rest of the people.

"Was that . . ."Naruto gawked pointing a finger in my direction, "Clarity?"

"Nah that can not be Clarity, she never wears a dress," Yamato laughed though stealing glances at my behind is not a way to double check.

Kakashi pretended to be too far interested in his book, I could see his everyday onyx eye peeking up behind the pages, "She has Icha Icha Tactics on her I-pod." he remarked.

"That's not the point Kaka-senpai," Yamato frowned.

"I know but she's got a nice tight butt like the character in my book," Kakashi beamed causing the slence to be so thick it was holding their mouths open.

Kiba jumped at the chance to tackle Kakashi and wrestle him for the book shouting, "Lemme see! Lemme see!"

"No!" Kakashi snapped keeping the book up at arm's length with a foot to Kiba's face. He didn't account for Akamaru. That dog zinged mid-air the book within his clutches.

"Awesome Akamaru, hand it over!" Kiba cheered. Yamato dived for the book. Akamaru trampled over him. What started out as a chick fight became an all out brawl. The dust rising in puffy waves. During the fight Kakashi's favorite book fell at Sai's feet.

He bent over, picked up the book and started flipping through the pages. While the dust ball behind him was nothing but swinging arms and flying feet in a cloud. Sai turned to the exact page Kakashi was referring to. His eyes grew wide with childlike wonder. His cheeks colored sharply with a sweet blush. A stream of blood trailed its way from his nose. Man and here I thought Naruto could be pretty dense. I mean here was Sai experiencing his first sexual arousal ever and he had no idea what he was experiencing.

I didn't care if I was late. I had to do something before Sai's brain dropped further into his pants. Jiraiya was no help of course. He was grinning like a mad man and writing down research notes in a little notebook he kept up his sleeve. Naruto kept looking at me like I grew a new head. I face palmed; careful not to ruin my makeup.

"Sai you're too young to read this in oh so many ways ," I informed the poor teen when I snatched that book from his pale fingers. Sai looked at me with the face of a kicked puppy. I took out my Baroque book and Yamato ran away. Yeah he knew what I was doing. It's my version of desensitization, "Here Sai read this book, that way you'll never look at Erotica the same way ever again."

Sai was more eager to research something than anything else. Still I could see one question dancing upon his lips by the twitch of his mouth.

"Clarity," he solemnly asked, "Why am I bleeding?"

"It's called sexual arousal and you'll find it on page 4, there's even an illustration there to show what happens." I informed him. I handed Kakashi back his book. I punched Jiraiya for not helping and I binged Kiba on the forehead with my fist. Akamaru just got a belly rub. All I had to do was walk through a door. Subsequently Tsunade _banged_ my head with her fist. The doors were open and the council got to see the whole thing.

"This . . . This is the Artist you hired?" gasped the old woman Homura, "I thought you said she had talent."

". . . she does . . ." Tsunade deadpanned, "Council members . . . Clarity Cratchet."

The whole room took a somber tone in the room. Hiashi stood behind everyone's back with his hand wrapped around his fist; gesturing me to do the customary greeting . I met his eyes, no expression, no give aways, and I deftly made sure not to open my yap. I stood tall and did what Hiashi taught me. The Konoha version of an upper class curtsy.

"Greetings Gondaime-sama, Council Members, you all look exceedingly well today." I chattered bowing first to Tsunade and then to the council at large. Eyes on the floor, submissive stance, and made sure not to give eye contact till properly signaled. Kimura gave me the signal.

"We welcome you to the council chambers, Cratchet-san please sit down." Kimura said in a voice that was deeper than I thought given his weenie scrawny frame. He probably used to be a big man in his day. Now all that voice told me was this was still a male dominated work place meaning looks meant everything. I'm not being sexist mind you it's just a fact of cold hard reality right now. I mean some people don't discriminate openly, they just find politer ways to do it.

I took the bigger part of the stuff Murray took in for me off his shoulders. I didn't want them to think I was treating my best friend like a pack mule. Murray is a life saver and he knows me better than I know myself. I can't help but listen to him. I took my seat which was, of course, center stage in a corner of the table where everyone can see me.

I wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. Murray was right. I needed help. I made a mental note of all the people around me. Tsunade, if I asked her for a favor the elders would kill me. I couldn't ask the elders for a favor; Tsunade would snap me over her knee. Danzo; heck no; I'd rather kiss a toad. Hiashi already gave me what advice he could. ; hmm don't want to spoil his nap. Tsume Inuzuka; no way; looks way scary; probably scared off her own husband even. What luck could I have finding someone I know not too tied down by politics to help?

"Guess who?" yelled a voice with some tan calloused hands blinding me in an instant.

"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" hissed Himura, "GET THE KYUUBI OUT OF HERE BEFORE HE CORRUPTS SOMETHING!"

". . . That's not the Kyuubi . . ." I heard Tsunade mutter as if this wasn't an unusual occurrence.

My brain was on brain drain. If Himura said Kyuubi than that meant . . . I felt up the orange clad arms. I fumbled around a pair of solid shoulders. My thumbs got hooked into a set of armpits that caused the owner of said arms to giggle madly.

"Gya hahahahah." he laughed, causing his diaphram to jiggle against my back.

"Naruto!" I cheered finally glad to see a friendly face in this stuffy place, "What brings you here?"

"Ah our appointment?" Naruto cajoled, prodding me to remember. That's when it hit me.

"Oh yes Ichiraku's at eleven to twelve p.m. noon. It's ten thirty correct?" I asked opening up my tatty old ledger to the place where I document appointments. A bunch of dust filled the air causing Mr. Nara to sneeze.

"It's nine forty five," Naruto stated, "Yosh, you come out of nowhere actually dressed like a girl? You had to have forgotten something!"

"Thanks for the reminder Naruto," I answered, resisting the urge to bring him into a headlock. I still had to keep up appearances. I didn't want to get fired.

"Ano, Claire-sensei," Sai asked from the other side of me.

"You don't have to be call me sensei Sai you know that."

"Still, eh, I would like to get your opinion about a painting I've been working on," Sai asked blush present on his cheek though it was more from nervousness instead of arousal, he set my Baroque Book down on the table, "Could you pencil that into your ledger too?"

"Sure, sure, how does," I thought for a moment, long day no need to rush, "two or three-"

"Three sounds fine Claire-sensei." Sai interjected.

"Three it is," I agreed, jotting it down. I was so busy taking down numbers that I didn't notice anything until I felt the eyes of the council staring upon me. I put away my ledger. I folded my hands properly in my lap and proceeded to ask, "Is there anything else you need me to do today?"

I had on the cheesiest sunshiny grin I could muster to hide the awkwardness I felt. Hiashi face palmed, probably wondering how screwy his daughters would become if they ever became my age. just woke up to sip his tea wondering what the heck was going on. Tsume must've gotten board; because her dog just barked her a private joke that she laughed her head off at. Everyone else was having a staring contest with the end of my nose. Well, all except for Naruto and Sai; Sai put his nose in a book and Naruto just took an empty seat to twiddle his thumbs.

"So," he asked, setting to boil the proverbial pot, "Who wants ramen?"

You could've heard a pin drop in the room.

"Naruto we're here to disscuss a painting," Tsunade snapped, way out of character for her, her eyes seemed a little moist, something was up; I could just feel it.

"Tsunade," I asked, "What does this painting have to do with Naruto?"

The whole room rose into an uproar.

"QUIET!" Tsunade ordered, "Clarity . . . Say that again . . . What did you ask?"

"This painting," I answered calmly, "This isn't about keeping my job or about the fact I've caused so much trouble. I mean yeah it is but you're keeping me in the dark. What. Does. This. Painting. Have. To. Do with Naruto?"

Tsunade thickly swallowed, "That's the point in calling you here, it's not about Naruto but a certain Jinchuuriki."

"Jinchuuriki . . ." I snapped feeling my own heart break under a scalding iron, "Jinchuuriki? Demon Containers? JAILERS? NO! We're talking about a human being caught in the middle of two of the oldest CLANS IN HISTORY! We're talking about a human being used in the middle of all these paintings! That's why the meeting! The silence! THE LIES!" I felt my teeth clench as I stood heavily out of my seat.

WHAM!

I slammed the palms of my hands into that old wood table; leaning forward trying to look dangerous. My voice felt hoarse from screaming. I know a little girl in a slinky white dress looks harmless. Still it never hurt me so much to see such pussyfooting around.

"I'm not a ninja, I'm not even a parent, but I know the value of a human life, Tsunade! What do you want me to do? You're my client. I don't even care about the whole Hokage plan. I care about the people I work with. So what do you want me to do?" I growled, "Because Tsunade, I am not asking the Hokage, I'M ASKING YOU! What do _you_ want _me_ to do!"

The response was almost immediate.

"Get back to work Clarity, I'll see you in my office in oh five hundreds hours. Naruto, Sai, escort her back to her room. Help her in whatever way you can! Meeting Dissmissed! You got your answer not go on, get out of here! I'd like to talk to Clarity in private please."

Everyone left the room. I felt a breath escape my lips that I didn't know was there. Seriously, after all the things I'd been through, I couldn't believe the scariest thing was facing a bunch of strangers; majority being, those that didn't have a high opinion of me at all. I had to hand to Tsunade, facing those guys every day took guts. My guts felt like a wibbling pile of mush at the moment. As soon as everyone left the room, Tsunade slowly ambled my way. She took me by the shoulder and swung me straight around to where I stared directly into her glaring Honey Sickle eyes.

"Now Clarity it's your turn," she toned, "I'm not asking the artist, I'm asking you . . ."

Her shoulders were shaking.

". . . What do you honestly think . . . of Naruto?"

"Say what?" I stuttered, "Of Naruto . . ." I took a deep breath. "Okay, Naruto . . ."

I didn't know what to say. I could feel that energy spike. I could hear that high pitched hissing noise behind the door. Don't ask me how. I don't know why but I could tell Naruto was listening. His hand clenched tight on the seal on his stomach. This was more than just a test it was like I was putting salve on something. My heart decided to speak for me.

" I consider him a human being, Tsunade-sama," I choked my eyes stung with tears; I let them fall, "He's loudmouthed blabbering bottomless pit. I mean don't worry about me, I don't care about . . . About . . . _honestly_ I care about Naruto, I care about Sasuke. I want him to bring him back to this village. I want Sasuke to be in good neighborhood surrounded by people that care for him. I want Naruto to be able to look at himself in the mirror and like what he sees as the man he wants to be not what everyone else thinks of him. I've already been in their shoes Tsunade, I'm not a jinchuuriki but I'm a human being that had to learn how to be tough before I learned how to love. I love them like family Tsunade. That's what Naruto is to me."

I never looked a way for a moment. Tsunade swung me around again. This time, to hide her own solemn tear. She shoved me out the door.

"Clarity!" She commanded.

"Yes Tsunade?"

"Arigato." She answered, everyone's hearts feeling lighter all the same, "Clarity-chan and get to work, you'll be briefed on the Land of Waters first thing in the morning."

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Now prepare for some riotous good laughter and a drama sequence gone wrong if you please?

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Clarity in Konoha  
Chapter 17:Clarity Wears a Dress


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